Doing a wee in garden on playdate - ok or odd?

[PurplePetalPip]

DS4 was invited to a friend’s house for a couple of hours. Have spoken with the mum a few times but not friends or anything. First time leaving him at a friend’s house and I was very anxious leading up to it and during it but he was keen to go.

He said he had a brilliant time and all seemed fine. A little while later he said he’d done a wee in the garden. He knows we don’t do this at home so told me he had said he needed the loo, but his friend’s dad had said it’s ok to wee in the garden.

Im not sure if it’s because I’m anxious about play dates generally but i just need reassurance this is ok. Wouldn’t you tell a house guest where the toilet is?!

I’m not sure of it is relevant but they are Polish - a cultural thing? I want to think of it as completely normal but there’s just that tiny doubt about what if it isn’t - and isn’t it better to be overly cautious?

I am just navigating this new era where he is old enough to want to have play dates so any advice on this welcome also!

That's not normal and your child should have been shown to an actual toilet, he may only be little but his dignity should still be respected.

I know this is acceptable to one of my son’s school friends (his mum has spoken about it) but it absolutely wouldn’t be to me.

A bit unusual but if he otherwise had a great time, i'd be inclined to let it go. There will always be things that other families do differently

Might be a dad thing, he wasn’t arsed bringing him inside? That’s all I can think of.

My daughter is convinced it’s perfectly reasonable. Bluey has a lot to answer for.

Normal for my family- I’d not suggest it, but not mind if it happened

That’s strange and lazy

It depends on exactly what happened. If its a big garden and he was told to go behind a tree or into bushes it may not be a problem and probably preferable to being sent inside alone. If dad was looking after a number of children he may have felt that was the best way to supervise them all. Sometimes 'jungle wees' are necessary. If its a manicured lawn and he did it in front of everyone that is not ok.

No it's not a good habit to get them into. He needs to learn to hold it til he's in a toilet. It's bad for the plants and he could be exposing himself to adults with malintent. If he did it in a park etc.

Never came across this with my son, but seen boys being encouraged to do this in the playpark, even though theres a very clean public toilet. Really gross and unnecessary.

I know some people think this is ok but to me, no. Absolutely unnecessary and just yuck.

Normal where I live (rural, if that makes a difference. I suspect it does)

For a while a wild wee was my grandson's expressed preference even though it was an emergency only rule.

Depends on if the dad had a group of kids outside on his own. He might not have wanted to send a 4 year old inside to look for the loo or drag the group of kids inside.

It’s a bit odd but I can see the logic if you have more than one child there

A wee in the garden is just about acceptable. Definitely not a poo though unless you bury it.

I had to let one of my DD's friends (girl) do a wee out on a walk she was desperate (or said she was). But for boys it's fun I remember a friend saying her boy had realised he could pee almost anywhere and started 'needing' to go walking to the shops or anywhere. To be discouraged but...

Fine to do with your own kids but it’s weird to encourage someone else’s kids to do that when they’re on a play date and there’s a perfectly good toilet inside. I would be uncomfortable about it and wouldn’t be sending my son to that house again.

I wouldn't make a big deal of it as a one off. Your son had a nice time on a playdate.

Nature wees are fine (I live rurally and hike a lot). Perhaps different if yiu live in a city!

Perhaps it's the norm for that family or perhaps dad didnt want to be alone/ upstairs in the house with young kid who needed the bathroom in case that was open to misinterpretation.

Racist, thats what you probably are. You think Polish people wee in the garden?

Completely normal in my family but we live rurally and have a few acres / fields so makes sense if we are far away from the house. I wouldn’t do it with someone else’s child tho, unless I knew them extremely well. But I wouldn’t leave my child on a play date unless they were independent at toileting.

I was quite surprised some boys did wees in the bushes outside school in reception. My DD was bursting for a wee when she came out, but sometimes I sent her back in and the teachers were accepting of that. They weren't far from school, it's the age for lots of accidents, but I did find it a bit odd.

Fine if the Dad said it was OK, and as long as your Ds knows this is very location specific and not ok in anyone else's garden.

Wouldn't worry me. Unless Ds was distressed - so needs to know its ok to say he'd rather go indoors in the toilet if he would rather,

Bet he wouldn't rather tho'!

And he did say he had a brilliant time.

Normal where I’m from - Rural Uk

Pretty normal. Wouldn’t particularly want my DS doing this in other peoples gardens but I don’t think it’s anything sinister.

Absolutely fucking not.