Doing a wee in garden on playdate - ok or odd?

[PurplePetalPip]

DS4 was invited to a friend’s house for a couple of hours. Have spoken with the mum a few times but not friends or anything. First time leaving him at a friend’s house and I was very anxious leading up to it and during it but he was keen to go.

He said he had a brilliant time and all seemed fine. A little while later he said he’d done a wee in the garden. He knows we don’t do this at home so told me he had said he needed the loo, but his friend’s dad had said it’s ok to wee in the garden.

Im not sure if it’s because I’m anxious about play dates generally but i just need reassurance this is ok. Wouldn’t you tell a house guest where the toilet is?!

I’m not sure of it is relevant but they are Polish - a cultural thing? I want to think of it as completely normal but there’s just that tiny doubt about what if it isn’t - and isn’t it better to be overly cautious?

I am just navigating this new era where he is old enough to want to have play dates so any advice on this welcome also!

I'm ok with wees in the garden

I reception they sip at their water bottles all day and some don’t dare ask to be excused. By going home time they really are desperate.

His friend’s dad said it was okay to wee in the garden. Dad is relaxed about this, probably thinks your little one found it fun. I think you should too and let it go.
Famous gardener Bob Flowerdew highly advocates the use of diluted urine on the lawn, on plants, in the compost heap. Why use gallons of treated water to flush urine into the North Sea when we produce free fertiliser?
That dad knows a thing or two!
Little boys love tree wees. It’s part of the fun of being young.

Is that where it's from? My little boy is obsessed with having a garden wee but I have no idea why

When we're in the garden the boys wee down the grid. It's literally where the pipes from the loo go anyway, so it's going to the same place, and it means they don't have to take their dirty shoes off and go into the house (to get to our loo you have to go through the kitchen and living room then up the stairs and down the hallway).

Completely normal round here ( continental Europe+ rural).
If anything, for a little boy that age it would be seen as a much more normal thing to suggest as a parent looking after another child.

Can’t see a problem.

Totally normal where I live (rural).

Young boys having too much fun outdoors don’t want to break off just to go indoors for a wee and as we’re surrounded by fields, no-one else is going to see them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My best friend tells me that I did a poo in her garden when I was little. Because her dog did. I have no recollection of the event but I was happy to hear about it.

Another country bumpkin here, wouldn't worry me at all.

One of my grandsons loves a wild wee. It first started when they were out walking miles through woodland etc but he has now been told if he is in the garden he must come in and use the toilet.

He is 7.

We won't have wasted good wee in France... it would have been straight to the composting area.

Male wee is also excellent as a fox deterrent if they are digging up your plants.

Ffs chill your beans!! 😬😵‍💫

Wouldn't bother me.

I would consider how many children we there, if the garden was safe to leave unsupervised children in. We had a pool up this week & no way would I leave any 4 year old out there alone.

Also at that age they are still at the stage where they are having so much fun, they often dont say they need a wee til they really need one! Sending a child off on their own with directions to the loo is asking for a accident.

I would allow my kids to do it occasionally but wouldn’t be encouraging other people’s children. I don’t think it’s that gross because there are lots of cats and foxes here who obviously wee in the garden. But when there is a perfectly good toilet it makes more sense for other kids to have privacy for their genitals

Its fine. When a little boys gotta wee he gotta wee. I say this as a mother of 4 boys (now adults)
Its a bit of wee not napalm !!.

The back-up compost heap at the far end of the garden has been small boys' choice of peeing place for more visitors than I can remember.

It's absolutely fine, OP

I was going to ask if friend’s dad is Mr. Flowerdew!

I only let mine wee outside when they were little if they were desperate and there was no toilet available.
Some houses only have one bathroom so if someone is using it the garden might be the only option for a desperate child?

When there's a toilet readily available, it's not ok.

There was boy in ds' reception class who thought it was ok to pee in the playground and then run round giggling and showing everyone his willy.
School took a very dim view.

Oh dear, now I feel like a weirdo. Yes, my kid having the occasional wild wee is completely acceptable to me (but I used to work outdoors where there were no facilities and it was 100% the norm and usually only option!).

But don't think I would encourage a visiting child in my care to have a wild wee in my garden with a loo close by, I think I'd actually feel like it was a bit of a safeguarding eek unless their parent was there and suggested / supervised it themselves.

Don't think I'd make a big deal out of it, just ensure that DC knows to always talk to me about anything that makes them uncomfortable.

Having a wee tree (or bush, or patch) in the garden is pretty common in all boy households in my experience.

We let ds gave a wee in the woods if we were far from a toilet . But not in the garden and definitely not a friend of his

I wouldn't want my son to do this, but I'd see it as a way to open a conversation about other families having different ways of doing things.

I would explain to him that some people wee in the garden, but we don't, and next time he can ask politely to be shown where the toilet is.

I think it’s fine, my kids do! But I think the definition of ‘garden’ matters. Teeny astroturf lawn 10 feet from the downstairs loo - bit weird! Massive garden with lots of private nooks - not so weird. We live on a farm. It would be totally normal for dc and friends not to come back to the house to have a wee. They’d go behind a tree in the wood or around the other side of a hedge. They wouldn’t do that if we lived in an estate overlooked by neighbours with paving slabs and no grass.