Why do twin parents pay double but get no extra help?

[Twinmama11]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… having twins means buying everything x2, but there’s not really any extra support or discounts out there.

It kind of feels like we’re just expected to manage it?

Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

Support from who?

Twins aren’t usually a thing that garners discounts in shops the same way student discount does for example. It’s just, not a profitable market for companies to need to offer.

If you needed government help or eg foodbank food, I’m sure they would take twins into account.

Why should businesses support your second child with a discount? I don't understand this buy one get one free mentality.

@Diamond7272 why shouldn't there be extra funding for SEN? They are going to need all the extra help to manage an independent life if possible?

It's implied by your assertion that you shouldn't have to pay for your IVF.

Infertility is undoubtably painful for those who want children, and at the same time, having children isn't a right. You can't expect endless rounds of free IVF when the NHS has children waiting years just to see CAMHS.

Buy one get one free is too high of a discount to offer anyway. I could maybe understand a token 10% off but getting half the shop for free is unrealistic

Yes, it is painful. Let’s leave it at that. I am entitled to one free round, and it’s a year long wait.

when did I say I was expecting endless rounds of ivf? You are exaggerating. Dont compare it to CAMHS or cancer treatment to be inflammatory. These are all worthy causes of NHS treatments in their own right!

Of course it isn't difficult to argue that a couple may have the £5k to pay for IVF but not the many many extra thousands it may take to get a bigger car, a bigger pram, extra car seats, extra cots, double the cost for soft plays/farms/swimming lessons, double the cost for nursery, for school uniforms and it goes on and on. Do you honestly struggle to comprehend that? In the vast majority of cases, parents of multiples didn't plan to have more than one baby at once.

What exactly do you want discount on?

Finally, someone with some sense.

Well it's not as if the birthdays are a surprise so save to spread the cost. It's not rocket science.
I miscarried a twin so am probably lacking in sympathy for moans like this. Still feel incredibly thankful that the other twin survived and was born healthy and well at term.

But there is extra help , 2x child benefit , if you have twins and in revisit of benefits there is an extra payment for twins I think it’s sure start maternity grant or something along those lines . If you receive UC you get 2 children entitlement etc etc

That's what I tried to explain earlier up.
When those of you who had singletons went out to buy car seats, pushchairs, high chairs, new clothes, boxes of nappies, tins of formula you could buy ONE of those things.

When a multiple birth parent goes out to buy those things they have to buy at least double the amount dependant on how many children they have birthed in one go.
They can't buy one car seat and then buy the other one a year later.

The outlay happens all at once and it's relentless in the first few years.
With parents who have singletons you can choose to space your children apart and take the financial hit over the space of years rather than all at once.
I don't understand why people find it so difficult to understand???

It always struck me as unfair that you only got the higher rate of child benefit for the first twin (if your first born) and the lower rate for the 2nd. The thinking was always that you could pass things down for subsequent children but that doesn’t really work with multiples.

A lot of the costs you mentioned apply if you have 2 kids generally, swimming lessons, farms and soft play etc. Needing discounts on soft play because your kids were born on the same day rather than a year apart is daft. But many attractions offer discounts for family for 4 tickets anyway, you don’t need extra discount on top of that because the kids share a birthday.

"Also we are having to fork out loads for the treatment" and "I shouldn’t have to pay for IVF" are what you said. You could just wait the year.

I wish I'd only had to wait one year for my autism assessment and my endometriosis removal.

The trade-off is not losing thousands in lost earnings from a second maternity leave.

Swings and roundabouts, I think.

Well luckily for you, your autism referral isn’t reliant on a biological clock is it? Also, there’s nothing stopping you paying for private assessment.

YABU. Nappies and food is going to cost the same for 2 children whether they are the same age or different ages.

For clothes and baby equipment you can save a bit of money with 2 singletons in the baby years but beyond that there is often not much you can hand down, even with 2 children of the same sex , because they either ruin stuff or (in my case), they were such different heights and builds that DC1’s cast offs did not fit DC2.

No, but keeping my job was dependent on proving a need for reasonable adjustments. Tell me you've never been fired for the effects of a disability without telling me...

If we are talking about pain, passing out from pain because your endometrial tissue is bleeding into your abdominal cavity trumps really wanting children. You aren't going to be dismissed on the basis that fainting is dangerous in your job because you are struggling to concieve.

A year is a long time in terms of fertility and IVF success. Surprised you didn't think of that with your experience of endometriosis.

Not really sure what you mean. I ended up having to leave work and take care of them because we couldn't afford the nursery fees in the early years. Financially we are only getting out of it. So no, not swings and roundabouts.

My identical twins are 17 now. It was certainly more expensive to have two together but there are other advantages, simpler logistics being one. There are some businesses that offer discounts for twins/multiples, presumably because it suits them to secure double the sales even with a 10% or 20% reduction of margin.

I could see an argument for grants or interest free loans for those kitting out twins- the second cot, car seat etc are a real hit to the wallet all at once. Perhaps means teat these so it's a help not a right. I've never received UC/Child Benefit but would accept that for some twin or triplet parents that help is much-needed.

I have been surprised to see pp list 'one maternity leave' as an advantage, although I see that one career gap may be helpful in the long run. I would have argued that a longer period of mat leave is appropriate for multiples as the early months are overwhelmingly exhausting and a new twin mum probably has a harder time than those with singletons.

Does wanting kids make you blackout from pain? Does delaying IVF risk your job?

Generally speaking you have 2 children by choice. Often couples specifically plan to have 2 children.

I don't necessarily believe twin parents should receive financial handouts, but there absolutely is a bigger financial hit when having twins vs a singleton.

Also I imagine it doesn't feel like the relaxed maternity leave of singletons where you can go to baby sensory or baby bounce!