Never been to preschool

[lisa270988]

Hi my 4 year old who starts school in September has never been to preschool! I have tried a few times but he never got on and I never liked them! He is very social and we go to lots of groups ect. Has anyone never sent their child and did they settle ok at school? Also did the school contact you about visiting ect I'm worried because he hasn't been to any preschools he will miss out on visiting the school before he starts as know preschools often do this.
Will I have a chance to speak to the school/teacher about this

There are plenty of children who start school without being in any sort of formal childcare. I would just plan ahead for him to be very tired the first couple months and drop offs will be quite teary. You just sort of need to plunk him in the gates and go and not make a fuss.

Transition days will be organised by the school directly so you won’t miss out (though preschool will take them if they are in that day). You will get a letter or email about it. They usually happen in June/July. If you haven’t heard anything by May, I’d email them.

I have tried a few times but he never got on and I never liked them!

If you’ve given up in the past you may find yourself wanting to do the same. The first few weeks can feel tricky as he’ll be tired (they all will pre-school or not) and there’s a lot to get used to (including for you).

Agree with brisk and matter of fact drop-offs.

If he's not attended because you kept taking him out and didn't like them then my biggest worry would be what are you going to do differently for school.

He will probably find it quite challenging having not attended a setting away from you to suddenly go to 5 days a week without you there so I would be prepared for some unhappy drop offs.

If the school is aware he hasn't been to a setting then they will probably arrange a home visit and many schools send information for transition days in the summer term directly to parents.

There are plenty of children who start school without being in any sort of formal childcare

I am not sure there are actually. That’s not a criticism of the OP, but while this might have been true years ago I would say it’s extremely unusual now.

Certainly in my DS’s reception class all the children attended nursery or preschool. Some more than others yes but not using the fifteen funded hours is very rare I would say.

Agree, it's unusual not to attend, out of last year's cohort in my school only 1 out of 60 had no preschool experience. Anecdotally, I didn't attend preschool for the same reason as your child - I hated it. I also hated reception and had to be peeled off my mother every morning for months. I don't say this to worry you, but more to prepare you in case he's the same.

In my experience with EYFS it’s unusual to get to reception age and not been in any setting and the main challenges I can see is doing things without you there, being used to being part of a class where his needs and wants won’t be met immediately and you, as a parent, being comfortable with being apart from him and accepting you won’t know everything that goes on. If you can find any activities where he needs to be left I would suggest that as a way to ease him in. Does he get left without you or his dad at friends houses or relatives?

Lots of kids don’t go to nursery or preschool but I think that “I have tried a few times but he never got on and I never liked them! ” is a possible barrier.

Can you homeschool if you don’t like the school? You don’t say why you never liked them but schools are often very rigid with requirements like uniform etc

Is it possible that your attitudes towards preschool rubbed off on your son and that affected his settling in?

I just thought the seemed a boring for him the ones a sent him took from 18 months upwards and all the children mixed together! And he was trying to play with 18 months old who could only just walk ect

Lots of kids don’t go to nursery or preschool I get that I might be doing that MN thing where I’m unable to see past my own direct experience but I can honestly say I don’t know any. And I have a five year old ds so I do know a lot of children this age!

Maybe before funded hours came in it was more usual for children to just be at home; I don’t think I attended preschool or nursery but that was circa 1985!

Yes. I am a retired Reception teacher and it's actually quite rare for a child not to have had some kind of nursery experience before starting school.

How could the preschools be boring for him? It does sound like this could be a you problem, how will him going to school be different?

I also agree with the previous posters it's actually very very unusual for a child not to attend any settings before school these days. I personally only know one and he didn't attend because he was very poorly as a child.

I’m not sure why this was problematic?

In my experience of working in reception, it was obvious which children had never attended a formal setting before, but they usually settled in fine eventually and you wouldn’t have been able to tell by the time they got to year 1.

You will get the opportunity to talk to the new teacher and they may or may not offer a home visit, but don’t expect to hear from them until late June/July. They have no need to start worrying about next years starters yet.

A lot of young babyish toys! Trying to play with children who couldn't talk ect he said at one of them the children are all babies as a.lot of them where around 2 there was only about 6 older children there

A lot of young babyish toys! Trying to play with children who couldn't talk ect he said at one of them the children are all babies as a.lot of them where around 2 there was only about 6 older children there

OP

I agree, I’ve got a 7yo and a 3yo so am firmly entrenched in the little kids culture where we live and I don’t know any child who hasn’t at least gone to preschool part-time from 3.

You make it sound like you think he was too advanced for these settings? He was presumably not much older than these 2 year olds when you sent him?

How many preschools did you visit before deciding on one? When we were looking for a nursery for DT’s, we must have visited about 10 before putting their ton the waiting list. They were at the same nursery from six months old until they started school a couple of months after their 4th birthday

They sound like toddler grouos not preschools.

Preschools follow the Early Years Curriculum with age appropriate activities. Often based in schools.

@LittleBearPad My DDs were never tired out by school. Continued with later than I would have liked bed times and by y1 both were doing after school clubs. No, not all dc are sleepy heads.

Not being at nursery will mean some skills could be missing. Can he dress and undress? Hold a pencil? Recognise his written name? Has he started some phonics? What about number work? Can he wait for his turn? Play with others? Use scissors? Feed himself? Look at the EY curriculum and start filling any gaps that are obvious. Can he listen to stories and follow instructions? Has he sufficient confidence to ask for something? I’d want my child secure in basic skills in order to thrive. One day visiting isn’t much.

Tbh, it doesn’t matter in a way what the reasons are or were, it’s done now.

I kind of admire parents who don’t use preschool at all. I love my children to bits but my younger child attends nursery on Mondays and Fridays; of course it’s closed this week and - yeah. It’s a long fortnight 😂

The most important thing is to try to ensure the transition to school is as smooth as possible. My ds was never much bothered at being left at nursery or school (sometimes to my chagrin!) but he’s had challenges with accessing the curriculum, navigating friendships, learning his lines in the nativity play and of course bringing home 10,000 paintings.

There isn't many in my area and I don't drive so have to be walking distance. I visited the 4 nearby but one didn't have space

They were likely in the minority as most new joiners in reception are pretty tired even when the hours are shorter than they’ve been used to in nurseries. A child who has never been in childcare is more likely than most to find it tiring.

They all like around here

Are there no council run pre-schools, perhaps in a primary school?