Am I hot housing?

[hothouser]

I can’t work out if I’m trying to hot house my son, or if I’m just doing similar to everyone else.

My son isn’t very sporty. He loves cycling, skiing, surfing, swimming, running about, playing Mario kart and Minecraft on the switch. Hugely into Lego, building stuff, imaginative games and art (despite not being very good at drawing).

I ask him to play tennis twice a week, cricket once a week.

He swims three times a week outside of school, and once a week in school.

He probably would quit tennis and cricket given half a chance but because we’ve already let him bin football and rugby I’m reluctant to let him do that. He doesn’t hate them, he just doesn’t love it.

Am I pushing too much, hot housing or doing the right thing?

I had a fairly neglectful childhood so I really don’t have a good basis on which to parent properly.

Please offer some advice if you can!

Of course it has! I don’t want him labelled at all, especially as he’s so young.

But why, unless you actually put stock in those terms? They’re meaningless. He’s a 7/8 year old. Just chill out.

I’ve never heard ‘beta’ used in a nice way ever. Words have meaning…
It’s fine, I know he’s an amazing child with many, many great attributes. The sport thing is minor and this thread reiterates that it’s not the be all and end all despite the prevailing attitude at school!

But surely the hour of exercise includes things like running around at playtime, walking to school, bikes at the weekend etc…?
the most my kids ever did was something like cubs or brownies one night, one sport type activity once a week and one after school organised club.
I don’t know anyone who’s primary school aged child is /was doing sports clubs more than 3x a week. The sporty kids would be playing football all over playtime anyway.

My sons at that age had weekly swimming lessons,football one evening after school and rugby on a Saturday. One son was very sporty and still playing rugby at University and now a marathon runner. The other one stopped all after school sport because he hated it but enjoyed watching all sports.As an adult he now kayaks,dives and bush walks every weekend.

Daughter in yr 3 played tennis and netball once a week plus swimming lessons.
She is still very sporty but none of my children were ever forced apart from swimming lessons.
Absolutely no comparisons at school gate because people didn’t care.

I never hear that word mentioned, ever. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Guess the people my kid socialises with think it’s ridiculous too.

It was only mentioned on here

You clearly can think of an alternative - more sporty - you literally said it yourself.

The whole alpha/beta thing is disgusting you're really embarrassing yourself by talking like that.

OP you're trying to make him into someone he's not so he can 'keep up' with other kids. Can you really not see how damaging that is?

You say this is the best school, but by the sounds of it I'd be amazed if it's the best school for him.

@hothouser Just how neglectful was your upbringing? Have you ever had any counselling to deal with it? I’m asking because being too pushy can be emotionally damaging for children if they feel like they don’t fit in or aren’t good enough.

It may be the best school in the area on paper, but is it the right fit for your ds? There seems to be a considerable emphasis on sporting achievement, and to be honest, that environment does not suit everyone. Not by a long way.