22 month old, ear infections and barely any words. Worried I’m failing her

[sickandsleepy]

My daughter is 22 months and has had quite a few ear infections over the last year (about six, always in both ears). The GP says ear infections are very common in toddlers, but I’m starting to wonder if they’ve affected her hearing and speech.

She only says about three words, although not very clearly - bubble, duck, book and some animal noises but doesn’t say mummy or daddy yet or anything else. She understands things and will bring us books or things she wants help with, but because she can’t express herself she gets really frustrated and sometimes hits or lashes out.

She’s had hearing tests which showed slight hearing loss and glue ear but they keep just saying come back in 3 months, and because of that I’m actually paying privately for her to see an ENT next week. I’m convinced the ear problems are part of why she isn’t talking much, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m somehow failing her or missing something I should be doing.

Has anyone else had a toddler with recurrent ear infections and speech delay? Did things improve once their ears were sorted? I think I just need a bit of reassurance that I’m not letting her down somehow.

I did and he is 16 now. He got a lot of ear infections as a toddler and would say some funny pronunciations of words. He obviously couldn’t hear all the sounds. He had glue ear and his hearing was always worse in the winter when he had colds. He had grommets fitted and within days he was telling me things were too loud. He always had hearing tests months apart. I think this was to see if they improved in the nicer weather when he wasn’t fully of cold. They also said that if the t.v was on or the washing machine was on he would struggle to hear. This improved with the grommets. He had to have speech therapy too. Keep doing what you’re doing and mention your concerns.

I would say the ear infections are definitely contributing to her speech problems and I would say that is quite a high number of infections. If she has a dummy I would get rid of it as that could be contributing to germs getting into her ears and causing infections. I would also start signing with her to help her communication and reduce some of the frustration, signing can also support speech development. Lastly I would be referrIng her to Speech Therapy as early intervention is more effective and waiting list can be long.
it’s natural as a mum to feel worried and guilty but it sounds like your daughter has just been unlucky. We are moving into spring and summer and hopefully the drier weather will mean less bugs and infections around.

Six in a year is a lot. My LO is same age and has had two ever and both cleared up by themselves very quickly.

She’s had antibiotics for the lot of them as they never clear on their own. I should have mentioned she has been referred for speech and language therapy but the waiting list is very long so we’re still waiting. It’s just so rubbish to watch her struggle and her get frustrated when she can’t communicate. 6 is a lot and it’s horrible she seems to always be unwell. I’m going to look into signing and see if I can teach her anything that way. Feel so helpless and it’s really getting me down 😮‍💨

@starlight40this is exactly like my daughter, the words she does say don’t sound quite right, I know her speech won’t be perfect with her age but it’s all a bit off

I think the fact she isn’t mama or dada ing is what would concern me.

I don't have any personal experience of this bit wanted to say you are absolutely not failing her as you have sought medical attention multiple times and are continuing to advocate for her and pursue the issue. Be kind to yourself! So stressful though when your children are going through something you know isn't quite right.

See what the private ENT Dr says and go from there.

It is, she doesn’t say anything like that, not milk, bottle, yes, no, etc etc. But I don’t know whether I should be concerned about developmental issues or whether it’s just her ears holding her back.

@Nursemumma92thank you so much 🥺 I think it hasn’t helped that the nursery keep having ‘chats’ with me about it and saying she’s way behind her peers and even said I should consider she’s neurodivergent but I genuinely don’t think she is.

That sounds really hard. If nursery broach the subject again then I would say 'I am aware of what you have already brought to my attention but I am currently ruling out any physical cause that may be the reason for what is going on'.

In the mean time contact your health visitor as they may be able to advise further about whether speech and language therapy would be of benefit and can also liase with nursery about whether to pursue any neurodivergence profiling.

@Nursemumma92yeah, it’s tough. The health visitor has already referred us to SLT and we are waiting for our first session. The health visitor had absolutely no concerns about neurodivergence but the nursery just keep comparing her to her peers even though they’ve been looped in on all her health visitor write ups and audiology results. It’s at the point that I’m almost wishing something is recommended for her ears like grommets etc because at least then I can start ruling things out. She’s a happy little soul, but it must be so hard for her to not be able to communicate properly.

You have done everything you can then, if nursery bring it up again then you can say that you are awaiting ENT and SALT so will inform them of the outcome of those appointments but there is nothing more to discuss until then.

Hope you can get some answers soon!

They are bringing it up because they are concerned.

Can she copy?
can she make a Ma or a Da sound?

My dd was similar she had grommets at 2yo and again at 4yo.

She continued to be prone to ear infections all through her childhood though 🫤

Her speech did eventually catch up.

@Ohthatsabitshit yeah I completely understand that, but when I’ve told them all I’m doing to address it and I’m on waiting lists etc it just feels a bit rubbish that they KEEP bringing it up. It just makes me feel protective I guess. She doesn’t really copy sounds, sometimes rarely she will once or twice, but hardly and not consistent. And gestures the same. She can say the sounds of ma and da but not in any context. The last couple of days if I say ‘one’ she will say ‘oooo’ so she’s trying, but just missing the mark in a lot of places

@Girliefriendlikespuppies yeah I think I’ve surrendered to the fact they’ll be her vulnerability. Did your dd have the grommets via the NHS?

This is the same as my 23 month old. Referred for SLT at 12 months from the HV - that apt is later this month after 10 months waiting. Glue ear, but audiology just keep testing every 3 months, he has about 6 words only, no mama etc. paid for a private ENT in February who has recommended grommets in and adenoids out. Operation privately is 4.7K, this consultant also works for the NHS and has said he would list him NHS if we want but it’s a 51 week wait.
we’re going to spend our holiday money this year to get it done privately - it’s booked for 1st April.
hoping this helps his speech 🤞

Just to say as well, my older son has autism and my daughter has suspected adhd so neurodivergence is a real possibility but when we discussed all of this with the ENT consultant, he said that we should rule out the variables we can to help him. He’s too young to be ruling autism in or out but we know he has glue ear so fixing that takes it out of the equation and won’t harm

One of my dd's was the same, we helped her communicate by creating hand signals. This was over 25 years ago so I don't know if this aligns with modern advice, but it really helped alleviate her frustration.

@MrsC2018 oh my goodness this is the exact same. I have a feeling this is what the ENT will say for my daughter too. Do you mind me asking what general area you’re in the UK? I’m south west, and the wait times are similar. I’m going to a Nuffield to have her seen because that was the only place I could find a paediatric ENT and apparently they won’t operate on under 3s, so even if they recommend that, I’ll have to find another hospital who will do it. I’m crossing everything for you that it helps. I agree, if there’s something that CAN be ruled out then it should be because at least that helps pinpoint a cause. It feels like such an uphill battle to get there though.

@MrsC2018 sorry, can I just ask what they actually did at the ENT appointment, was it a chat with the consultant or did he do more testing? Did you take in audiology results?

This was my DS2. Ear infection after ear infection, constant antibiotics and limited speech. He had grommets fitted and adenoids removed aged 28 months and was talking in full sentences within a few weeks. It was remarkable.

We're in a similar situation, just a little younger - 16 month old says bye, cheers and dada. He's had 5 ear infections that have needed antibiotics in the last 6 months. The baby nurse sent us off to speech therapy, which has been completely useless (they act like they're giving you brand new information when they say that you're supposed to sing nursery rhymes and get down on their level to talk to them). On a whim I paid for a private audiology appointment, because I was sure it was his hearing that was the problem, and the audiologist said he has mild-moderate hearing loss that looks like it's from from glue ear.
Unfortunately the GP told me that he didn't believe the audiology report, because baby was too close to his most recent ear infection - not difficult when he's getting around 1 per month!
We're going to see an ENT privately next month.

My dd did have them through the nhs but she’s 20 now so this was a few years ago. She also ended up having her tonsils and adenoids removed when she was 4yo (they put more grommets in at the same time.)

Do you take your dd swimming? Water in the ears was a major issue in terms of then getting ear infections and I had to try all sorts of headbands and ear plugs which unfortunately were never 100% effective.

At the ENT appointment they’ll do a hearing test, look in the ears and there’s a machine that checks how much fluid is in there. I’d push for grommets, it’s a quick operation and made a massive difference for my dd.

If the Nursery bring it up again coukd you ask for a referral to Portage? This isn’t the pathway for assessment but might just help her to catch up with her peers a little more quickly.

Also agree with looking up some signs. Keep speech with her short and use the sign each time. So things like “Do you want more?” Whilst signing more. It’s up to you if you choose BSL, Makaton or Baby Signs. All of them should be online.

I think we started with more, milk, up although somebody taught DS the sign for biscuit and that quickly became his favourite sign .