22 month old, ear infections and barely any words. Worried I’m failing her

[sickandsleepy]

My daughter is 22 months and has had quite a few ear infections over the last year (about six, always in both ears). The GP says ear infections are very common in toddlers, but I’m starting to wonder if they’ve affected her hearing and speech.

She only says about three words, although not very clearly - bubble, duck, book and some animal noises but doesn’t say mummy or daddy yet or anything else. She understands things and will bring us books or things she wants help with, but because she can’t express herself she gets really frustrated and sometimes hits or lashes out.

She’s had hearing tests which showed slight hearing loss and glue ear but they keep just saying come back in 3 months, and because of that I’m actually paying privately for her to see an ENT next week. I’m convinced the ear problems are part of why she isn’t talking much, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m somehow failing her or missing something I should be doing.

Has anyone else had a toddler with recurrent ear infections and speech delay? Did things improve once their ears were sorted? I think I just need a bit of reassurance that I’m not letting her down somehow.

I sympathise. As a child I had countless ear infections. Was told Id grow out of it. I never did though they did become less frequent I still got them as an adult. In my 30s I lost hearing in one ear and currently on a waitlist for ent. Turns out I have had a dysfunctional eustacian tube all along but this was only found accidentally when I had an mri for something else! I can only imagine mynlife if this had been sorted when I was a child so keep pushing I know the nhs is a nightmare

Not sure if it is any closer to you, but the Portland in London specialises in children so would be able to operate. I highly recommend Jennifer Magill there based on personal experience. She's a wonderful consultant and surgeon, but also a mum of young kids herself so really gets it!

Hi OP, you’ve had a lot of replies here. I can’t help much with specific hearing treatment advice as when my little boy was tested (we paid to go private after getting nowhere with the NHS too) he didn’t have any active hearing infections or signs of glue ear. We saw Professor Bruce and he was amazing but we are in the north west - it was through a spire hospital. He was very thorough and so good with our little boy, the appointment was night and day to our rushed NHS ENT appt (which eventually happened months later - he has obstructive sleep apnoea, so the appt was needed despite his ears getting the all clear anyway). We were also offered an audiology appointment on the spot so that might be helpful to know if you did want a second appointment - the audiologist was also excellent with our little boy.

I think the one thing I wanted to reassure you about is your little girl not saying mama or dada. We did engage a private SLT (again, no help from the NHS) for a consultation, I was very worried about the fact my little boy had never said Mummy or Mama by age 2 (he briefly called me Daddy! but most of the time didn’t have a word for me at all). She wasn’t worried about this and didn’t seem to think it signified anything. He did eventually start calling me Mummy at around the 30-33 month mark. He’s now just turned 3 and although he’s still way behind his peers he has come on leaps and bounds, he even put 3 words together yesterday.

I know it so worrying, and it’s so hard seeing other children do it easily - especially when you’ve done everything “right” (read to them frequently, get on their level and show them the shape of your mouth while you speak, name things etc). It must be awful having nursery contributing to that stress too. But it really sounds like you’re a very conscientious and thoughtful mum and you’re doing everything you can to help her. You’re not failing her at all. I really hope the private ENT appt is useful and reassuring to you, and that the infections ease off soon bless her x

@sparkleghost I think the I may end up travelling if she needs surgery, as there are seemingly no hospitals near which take under 3s, so this is helpful, thank you!

Thank you so much for your kind words, it really can feel overwhelming sometimes and as a first time mum I really worry I'm missing something obvious that I haven't done to help her, but I don't think that's the case after reading some of these replies. Thank you again x

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32537156/

@girlabouthome this thread isn't about vaccinations, please don't derail.

Hi OP

My 2 year old has just had grommets inserted privately outside of London. Feel free to PM if I can help.

I thought it was about developmental delays and ear infections…

@StacieBensoni’m so sorry it won’t let me DM you for some reason, would you mind me asking which hospital?

@girlabouthome correct, so articles like that aren’t really useful or relevant to the questions I asked in my op. I’m struggling to see the point in you posting it. If my child is vaccinated then it’s too late, and if she’s not then it’s not relevant.

My first DS had ear infections every 6 weeks, had grommets, poor hearing. We signed, he was a very good lip reader. He had food issues that made them worse. Osteopathy helped.

My second son had a speech delay but no hearing loss. Signing also helped.

My sister is a speech therapist and she advised about language acquisition rather than just speech.. we did a lot of reading, interactive play etc.

Both boys are grown up. My eldest developed lots of compensating strategies when his hearing was bad. Eventually the ear infections stopped (lots of dietary interventions) and he is fine now. The younger one, once he started talking, he became incredibly adept at conversation, inference and subtleties of speech, I think as a result of having limited speech to begin with.

Sorry OP - forgot I had switched off PMs but I have PM'd you.

We managed to get a last minute appointment with the ENT surgeon today - someone else cancelled and they slipped us in. He took one look at the audiology report and in baby's ears and said instantly that he needs grommets and adenoids, and gave us the paperwork on the spot to get it arranged. So much easier than fighting with the GP about it! ENT pretty much said if they can't hear, they can't talk, and expects him to really pick up his speech after the op.

Hope your ENT appointment goes equally well!

https://mft.nhs.uk/rmch/consultants/prof-iain-a-bruce this is who we saw, but privately at the Spire Manchester - just in case you do end up travelling. Very experienced and knowledgeable, and really good with our toddler. Actually got a proper look at everything and even had DS giggling! X

I'm so cross, we've just got back from her private ENT appointment, and the consultant's only advice was for us to try shouting at her. Said nothing they can do for under 3s and he wouldn't put her on his NHS list because she'd be waiting until she was 3 anyway (???). I'll admit I just want to cry, it seems nowhere can help.

He saw her audiology results and looked himself and confirmed she still has glue ear. Said the only other thing would be to prescribe 7 weeks of antibiotics. This doesn't help the fact she's 22 months and only days 4 words and the fact nursery are worried about it etc etc

I just want to run away and hide.

That is absolutely ridiculous. Antibiotics won't treat the existing fluid build-up. I think you'll need to go elsewhere OP.

@StacieBenson exactly!! He even looked in her ears and confirmed glue ear so that’s definitely at least 5 months it’s been present. I was lost for words, he then demonstrated how we should shout at her (which she hated) and then with a completely straight face said that if we strain our voices doing it then book an appointment to have ourselves checked. Absolutely insane!

I now don’t know whether to go back to the same private hospital and see a different consultant, or go to a different hospital altogether, the only issue is there’s only one in my county that sees paeds, the rest are out of the county, so if I want her to be considered for their NHS lists I would ideally have her seen in our area.

It’s a load of rubbish that under 3s cannot have grommets.
Your situation sounds exactly the same as my daughter. She had infection after infection, our NHS GP surgery could not have been any less interested. After taking her there for the sixth time in as many months and getting the usual “small children get lots of ear infections” patronising head tilt, we went private at Spire in the West Midlands. She had her grommets surgery just after her second birthday. Spire hospital didn’t have the facilities to operate on a child, our consultant does a mix of private and NHS work so she had the operation at his NHS hospital but as a private patient.
Her speech improved immediately after she had the grommets, she’s ten now and absolutely no issues with her speech or hearing since. Keep pushing.

Appreciate you’re in the south west but happy to PM you our consultants details if you can get to Solihull.

@Cherrybomb00 yes please i would really appreciate that. I just felt the consultant was so dismissive today, he literally said well i can put you on the NHS list but she wouldn’t be seen until she was 3 anyway and she’d have to have all the infections documented (which I told him they are) so not much point… not much point?! Of course there is! I feel SO dismissed and like I’m being a neurotic mother but I know I’m not

Is he saying it isn't medically appropriate to do it before 3, or that HE can't do it privately before 3 because the hospitals he practices at privately don't have the facilities for under 3s, and the NHS list is very long? They definitely can be done at that age at the Portland because when my son had his done there were a few little ones in at the same time.

@Tiptopflipflop he said he can’t do it privately at the hospital he practices from and there is ‘no point’ putting her on his NHS list because the wait is long. To be honest though, I really don’t think he paid much attention to everything I said and was overall very dismissive, he didn’t ask me any questions or anything like that. I came away feeling dismissed not reassured.

Dd eventually got grommets on nhs age 3 after constant infections from 6 months old. They try and wait as long as possible in case it resolves. After grommets she was infection free for 3 years.
She's 10 now and has one or two a year.
Hearing normal

Sorry just saw your updates:(
We only got dds grommets after 2 emergency hospital admissions I'm afraid.
We tried the long term antibiotics and it helped a bit

I cant believe he didn't even discuss hearing aids instead of shouting. Awful.

I'm within 2 hours of Dorset so can give you a name if you want (much closer than Manchester)

@VividDeer I know, shouting at her isn’t a solution at all, and I don’t want to shout at her, that’s not how we communicate. Then for him to suggest we come back to see him if we strain our voices doing it? I couldn’t believe it. If I had been reassured that she doesn’t need grommets then that’s a different thing, but I really think she does and he did nothing to convince me otherwise.