22 month old, ear infections and barely any words. Worried I’m failing her

[sickandsleepy]

My daughter is 22 months and has had quite a few ear infections over the last year (about six, always in both ears). The GP says ear infections are very common in toddlers, but I’m starting to wonder if they’ve affected her hearing and speech.

She only says about three words, although not very clearly - bubble, duck, book and some animal noises but doesn’t say mummy or daddy yet or anything else. She understands things and will bring us books or things she wants help with, but because she can’t express herself she gets really frustrated and sometimes hits or lashes out.

She’s had hearing tests which showed slight hearing loss and glue ear but they keep just saying come back in 3 months, and because of that I’m actually paying privately for her to see an ENT next week. I’m convinced the ear problems are part of why she isn’t talking much, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m somehow failing her or missing something I should be doing.

Has anyone else had a toddler with recurrent ear infections and speech delay? Did things improve once their ears were sorted? I think I just need a bit of reassurance that I’m not letting her down somehow.

Yep.
DS had 14 ear infections from about 8 to 15 months, grommetted at 16 months. Continually ill and continually on ABs.

DD had 11 ear infections from about 8/9 months and grommetted at 20 months. From Dec 1998 to March 99, I slept with her upright in my arms, otherwise she cried all night. Again constant ABs and constantly unwell.

The NHS did nothing even 30 years ago. In our case because they had very clear and very developed speech so the GP refused to refer to ENT because as their sleech was so extraordinary, they said there coukd be nothing wrong with their ears. I note in relation to that, that dh enunciates particularly clearly and with resonance (barrister) and my speech is also clear and I spoke to them all the time.

We had to pay for their grommets. They turned the corner, health, happiness and sleep wise immediately. In fact when I parked outside the house on the way back from her op, DD sat absolutely entranced and excited in her car seat. Pointing at the birds. She had never heard the birds.

You aren't a bad mum but insist on the grommets otherwise you don't know what you are dealing with re her speech. Pay if you can.

@RosesAndHellebores gosh, it sounds like you earned your grommet badge for sure. I’m going to really push for it, she has delayed speech, constant infections with ABs, glue ear and documented hearing loss so I can’t see what else they’d want…

I had recurrent ear infections and sinus and chest infection as a child and had a grommet inserted as an adult due to hearing loss in one ear - it was amazing how much better I could hear, but what they don’t mention is that later on it stops working and then requires repeat surgery to remove and replace and then stopped functioning again ( not sure why maybe someone else on here knows this).
One thing that made a massive improvement was eliminating triggers dairy and salicylates ( broccoli tomatoes citrus ) and preservative free food. By eliminating triggers the problem resolves itself

My DH had grommets and then had ear infections as an adult and lots of hearing loss.

He is very stringent about not getting water in his ears and after I started getting swimmer's ear, the GP told me to hairdry my ears after getting water in them.

So, along with all the other treatments, try to keep her ears dry.

She might well have fluctuating hearing loss affecting speech development. The NDCS has info for children with permanent and temporary deafness, it is unlikely to do any harm to see if any of this advice will help re supporting speech development while you’re waiting to see a SALT https://www.ndcs.org.uk/advice-and-support/language-and-communication/spoken-language

I too would strongly suggest you start teaching her Makaton / Baby signing anything for her to gain language skills and reduce her frustration.

Unfortunately glue ear usually means long stretches of time with very poor hearing. Once the blockage clears the brain has to relearn how to hear again etc. This means when they do the hearing test her hearing could be a lot better than it is 80% of the time. Very frustrating.

My DD was 5 before she got her grommets and it transformed her confidence, prior to that she was almost selective mute as preschool and school. So may years of lost learning unfortunately.

I have had a lifetime of ear infections, two major operations and hearing problems as a result. I have two hearing aids. My latest ENT consultant has given me some excellent advice to help prevent ear infections, which is to put cotton wool coated in vaseline whenever l have a bath, shower or hair wash. This may be of help to others on this thread.

*in my ears, l should have said.

@sickandsleepy something I’ve remembered from 30 years ago which may or may not be relevant now, the HV and GP mantra was, “if their hearing is affected glue ear resolves and children catch up to the average by the time they are seven”.

It took a bit of resolve to bat back with “I imagine my child is above average, so catching up to the average at seven will put them at a significant disadvantage. Be prepared op.

I think you are hanging a lot of your thoughts and feelings on the issue being purely glue ear and hearing related. Your nursery aren’t focusing on that and (unless they are very inexperienced/new) will have seen countless children with glue ear and are suggesting it might be something more. Now personally I’d take that with a teeny pinch of salt because I do think some individuals are fond of armchair diagnosis, but I’d allow myself to consider it.
Can she understand what you say?

@Ohthatsabitshit yes she understands what we say and follows basic instructions. I did consider it at the time and had the health visitor come to assess her, she wasn’t concerned but I haven’t entirely dismissed it.

I think it’s just we have proven hearing loss on 2 tests, glue ear present on both tests, 6 ear infections in less than a year and delayed speech with off the mark pronunciation, it feels like that is the most likely cause when she has no other signs of neurodivergence that they tell you to look for.

It’s perfectly possible to have language or speech deficits without autism. Autism is far rarer (or was) than a speech and/or language disorder. I assume you would recognise what she was saying if it was just pronunciation and you feel she is understanding what is said (has she hit milestones on that?), so really you are looking at expressive language delay/disorder that could be as a result of glue ear or she could just struggle a bit more than most with that part of her development.

I would try to get her using other forms of communication to ask for the things she wants. Does she point? Choose? Copy? Verbal communication may take a bit longer but the more ways you help her communicate and the more you challenge her intellectually at her level (not at her level of speech which may be far behind) the more scaffolding you give her to build on.

@Ohthatsabitshit her dad and I do recognise what she’s saying, but I doubt other people do. For example she tries to say ‘clap’ but says ‘ba’, she’s hit some milestones, follows a simple instruction but not always and not if she hasn’t been recently interacting with the object in question like ‘where’s your water?’.

She points but not if she wants something, just in books at things she likes and wants us to say. She does choose sometimes, and copies actions but not sounds. She knows how to take turns and play together.

My DS had similar. My siblings and I all suffered from recurrent ear infections and glue ear so I knew grommets would be on the cards if he followed in my footsteps. After starting nursery he had tonsillitis and ear infections pretty much constantly. He had a reasonable amount of words but how much of that was because my family are all loud (because of the childhood hearing problems 🤣) I’m not sure - he struggled to hear my husband and struggled with the amount of background noise at nursery.

I took him to the GP and pretty much demanded a referral to ENT. I got a letter inviting him to a hearing assessment in the December (this was the Feb before he turned 1) and the audiology team rang me and said they absolutely wouldn’t consider any treatment until he was 2). I went privately and within six months of hearing tests, monitoring and waiting for infections to clear up he had his tonsils out, adenoids out and grommets in. It was like night and day honestly - his speech improved dramatically, his sleep improved and he was all round less frustrated.

its worth pushing early to get this investigated as glue ear can take a while to grow out of and you don’t want to be starting this process when they’re due to start school and potentially DC having a lot of time off which will set them back.

wishing you the best of luck.

She sounds lovely! If she’s pointing to things “where’s XXX” I think that’s really positive. It doesn’t really matter if she says the word “right” so long as you understand her. You can work on articulation later.

@hicketypickety DD is very similar although nothing to note of her tonsils luckily. Do you mind me asking where you took him? A lot of places won’t treat under 3s because they don’t have the facilities for it.

I really don’t want to waste time waiting for her to grow out of something like you said, these stages are so important.

@sickandsleepywe were extremely fortunate that DS was covered under my work health insurance and we went via a consultant at Great Ormond St who had a big private practice. The op was done at the Portland in London but the consultant has since retired. where are you based? I think there is a place in Kent that treats under 3s

@hicketypickety we’re in Dorset, I’ve only been able to find Spire Manchester and those London hospitals, the only problem is taking her that far just for a consultation, I have one booked locally this Thursday and I plan on asking him what his NHS list is like, and whether he operates out of any hospitals that can take younger children, or even if he can write to a colleague at one that does perhaps. I don’t know, just seems everywhere I turn there’s a blockage!

@sickandsleepyI hope they will be able to help! Our health insurance was with AXA but is it maybe phoning them or BUPA to ask whether there’s anywhere local that treats under 3s?

Ds had grommets etc at Bristol children's hospital. Repeatedly had infections and glue ear. He had it done aged 3. His hearing was poor and we had to really push. He was an only child then and they said he was coping as we often faced him when speaking as we had no distractions so he was lip reading but the grommets etc were life changing for him. I had not realised how being constantly ill was affecting him. His brother also had the same done aged 4.

We were in London so easier.

@mumonthehill I know it seems crazy but I really don’t want them to say we have to wait, she’s already falling behind and I dread to think what another year will do, plus her just always being unwell, being sent home from nursery etc

Does anyone smoke in the house/around her? This is a known cause of ear infections and glue ear. It’s normal for toddlers to get an ear infection or two but six isn’t normal imo

@hellotomrwno smokers in my house as a child, and we are non smokers too so whilst I’m sure smoking is a known cause, it isn’t the only cause. 6 ear infections isn’t normal BUT this is precisely why OP needs help and why the NHS should take this more seriously.

In my opinion the NHS can be spectacularly unhelpful with this sort of thing - eg they told me they would take my son’s tonsils out if he had >12 episodes of tonsillitis in a 12 month period. At which point I may as well have just quit my job… preventative care doesn’t seem to be a thing now.

OP I totally get it - it’s the constant disruption to life on top of the pain and discomfort that DCs are in

@hellotomrw nope, literally nobody in her life is a smoker, so it’s not that.

@hicketypickety yes exactly, it’s either she’s being sent home from nursery with a temperature that doesn’t come down, or I’m running around trying to get her seen to get antibiotics, and then nursery won’t have her until she’s been on them for 48 hours. It’s a lose lose, and nothing preventative about it, I keep hearing the phrase ‘watchful waiting’ from my GP, but there becomes a point where surely there’s a limit and we need intervention!