22 month old, ear infections and barely any words. Worried I’m failing her

[sickandsleepy]

My daughter is 22 months and has had quite a few ear infections over the last year (about six, always in both ears). The GP says ear infections are very common in toddlers, but I’m starting to wonder if they’ve affected her hearing and speech.

She only says about three words, although not very clearly - bubble, duck, book and some animal noises but doesn’t say mummy or daddy yet or anything else. She understands things and will bring us books or things she wants help with, but because she can’t express herself she gets really frustrated and sometimes hits or lashes out.

She’s had hearing tests which showed slight hearing loss and glue ear but they keep just saying come back in 3 months, and because of that I’m actually paying privately for her to see an ENT next week. I’m convinced the ear problems are part of why she isn’t talking much, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m somehow failing her or missing something I should be doing.

Has anyone else had a toddler with recurrent ear infections and speech delay? Did things improve once their ears were sorted? I think I just need a bit of reassurance that I’m not letting her down somehow.

Try to get grommets if you can. DD’s speech improved between the car trip to the hospital that morning and the car trip home again after the surgery - it was truly amazing.

@WhimsicalObsidian ugh it’s so frustrating isn’t it!!! Like of course I’m looking her in the face when I’m talking and reading to her but I guess they’ve got to cover it. Also the whole point is that if they keep getting infections that affect their hearing then something needs to be done about the hearing!! Makes me want to tear my hair out. I hope you get some success with your appointment next month, it’s just rubbish isn’t it.

@Girliefriendlikespuppies I’ll definitely be pushing for them and possibly adenoids if necessary as she does breathe with her mouth open often and has a runny nose all the time. I don’t take her swimming purely because of this! I just don’t want to make it any worse than it is, so it’s a shame because she’s missing out there too.

@SleafordSods I’ll look into these, thank you. I’ll also look into portage as I haven’t heard of that before. Haha DD loooves a biscuit so I’m sure she would be the same!! Do you know which signing method you used?

@Gremlinsateit this is amazing, I hear a lot of this kind of success from grommets.

When my DD was about the same age as yours she started getting lots of ear infections too, rarely given antibiotics as I was told most ear infections are viral. This went on until she about 15/16 in the middle of her GCSEs, so we went to the GP and we were lucky enough to see a trainee GP who had just completed a placement in ENT. She said each infection leaves debris in the ear which then causes more infections, vicious circle. She phoned up and arranged for my DD to be seen the following day and all the debris was removed with forceps - she watched it on a screen. This was 20+ years ago so unlikely you will get such prompt treatment now. She rarely had ear infections following this.

I’m just hoping something can be done if not only just to rule out hearing issues as the cause. The private hospital I’m taking her to to see the consultant won’t operate on under 3s, so there must be others out there that do

You’re not failing her but you’ve been failed by the NHS who should have referred her when you first raised this.

@chateauneufdupapa sadly I do kind of feel this way, but I guess there are thousands of other mums out there who all want the same thing, so there’s got to be a queue. Doesn’t sting any less though

Grommets aren't the only option - there are also hearing aids so that language can catch up while waiting for kids to grow out of frequent infections https://www.ndcs.org.uk/advice-and-support/all-advice-and-support-topics/hearing-aids-implants-and-assistive-technology/hearing-aids-and-implants/bone-conduction-devices If there's a long wait for NHS or private procedures due to age, it's worth considering.

My son is 20 now but didn’t speak at all until around 2.5 and then it was only single words that were very unclear. He only really said “ah” for ages. He had constant ear infections and almost got grommets but when they went to fit them it was summer and his ears were actually ok.

His speech slowly developed but was still very unclear when he started nursery and school. I could understand him at the time but I look back at videos and wonder how I did! He had speech therapy but it was a bit rubbish. It seemed to focus more on encouraging speech but by that time he was speaking a lot but just very unclearly!

In the end I downloaded an app and did speech therapy with him myself. The app focused on one sound at a time and we just did that daily and slowly it improved.

It didn’t seem to do him any harm in the long run. He learnt to read with no problems (but reading aloud was very unclear) and was always did very well at school. Ended up with all grade 8/9 at gcse and straight A*s at A level so please don’t worry but just be prepared to step in where needed if you need to.

@idril an app is a good idea, I think I’m just so daunted as to where to even begin, but you’re right, I have had a ‘taster’ SLT session and they were just telling me things like look her in the eye and praise her which I do intuitively. If I’m being honest I just feel totally overwhelmed and need to just zoom out and start somewhere

@sickandsleepy I’m in the North West, I took him to Professor Ian Bruce at the Spire Manchester- he’s literally a leader in his field, absolutely trust his opinion. He took a history from us, looked in his ears, nose and mouth. We had a hearing test in the appointment but he would have accepted our NHS one if we’d have brought it, I just wanted a second opinion. The hearing test showed hearing loss and glue ear so within the appointment he talked through the risks and benefits of grommets and adenoids and we agreed to both.

Just hopping on to suggest sign language. You can get some picture books which have animals, household items, things liked bed, toilet, food, drink etc in them. It would give her another way of communicating with you in the meantime, and if she does turn out to have hearing loss, you're already ahead!

@sickandsleepyHonestly, she is too young for it to be a concern yet. I didn’t use an app until my son was about 6 when it was clear that his clarity and his pronunciation wasn’t going to get better on it’s own and he had to maturity to work with me on it (children at school had started to comment). He also had a bad lisp which we fixed with the app. For now just try not to worry. It may all resolve itself without any intervention. My son always got less frequent ear infections over summer and we usually saw an improvement in his speech during that time.

fwiw we used articulation station which looks still to be in existence and was good but definitely not suitable until she is older.

@OtterMummy2024the problem with hearing aids for glue ear is that they can only be set to one level so as the glue ear fluctuates they can still have hearing loss even with the hearing aids. The ENT consultant also advised us that the child can only hear when they wear them so great if your child doesn’t have fluctuating hearing tests and is agreeable to wearing them all the time 🤦‍♀️

@MrsC2018 thank you that is so useful. I also want a second opinion on the hearing tests as dd had 2, and on the second one she scored better, but my problem is she was already turning to the direction of the sound before it had started because she was scared of the little puppets they used so was looking over there to check. The second audiologist was also just super dismissive and said basically every child they see has glue ear, which may be true, but what’s the point in just coming back every 3 months to confirm it’s still there if nothing will ever be done about it 😮‍💨

@OtterMummy2024 A useful suggestion but unfortunately there’s absolutely no way my daughter would entertain hearing aids, she can barely keep a hair tie in for 5 minutes!!

@idril ah ok I see, a bit older then. The problem is she is already behind her peers and is almost 2 not saying anything of any substance and the things she is saying are mispronounced quite a bit so I really do think there’s a problem there. I’ll see what the ENT says but I really do want to push for a resolve

My youngest has been referred for grommets at age 4, 22 months would be too young, they were still hoping it would clear. She hasn’t had ear infections, but the fluid has caused mild hearing loss. Her speech is brilliant, though. So I do think there’s an element of cognitive delay for some children who have speech delay with mild hearing loss.

Has your daughter hit her other milestones, or is she behind in a few areas?

@sickandsleepycan you find another consultant that will operate and just take her to the one appointment, seems silly to pay twice? The truth is, your daughter may need the op for grommets twice - the peak for glue ear is 3 and 5 so ours haven’t even hit the first peak yet. This may be why your consultant won’t operate on them being younger which on the face of it is reasonable. Except, my son is already 2 and delayed - another year is too much of his life to wait in my opinion

@safetyfreak she was late to walk, only started in December, but she is in 100th percentile so HV wasn’t worried as she said there was more of her for her to learn to coordinate! She points to things and brings us things she wants help with or a book etc. she is obsessed with books and stares at us intensely when we are reading to her. It’s also the fact she doesn’t say anything like mummy daddy milk no more etc etc, she just doesn’t even clock those words.

Very glad you’re seeing an ENT. Please
do make sure they check both tonsils and adenoids - if these are large it can definitely affect ear passages too and lead to fluid build up.

Look up Makaton signing, it is very simple but effective signing that supports speech and will mean your child can start to communicate needs and feelings. Also push for grommets, the early years are so important for speech development and learning.

Make sure that when you are chatting to your child and playing that you are facing them with good light on your face ( so facing a window for example) also make sure that environmental noise is reduced, so switch off the tv and radio so whatever hearing your child has is fully used.

@MrsC2018 strangely there are barely any paediatric ENTs in my area, and the closest spire that will take under 3s is Manchester which is about 5 hours away! I plan on getting the opinion of the ENT and then if he recommends surgery then I’ll go from there, if we need to travel then we will in a heartbeat. I agree, my daughter is already behind, waiting another year is too long and too much time wasted.

@safetyfreaki have this with my daughter, aged 5 she has had glue ear every audiology apt she’s ever been to (every 3 months since aged 3) but there is no speech delay so she’s not having grommets.
There is a difference in leaving a child with a delay though, why are we messing around with hearing tests, speech therapy and discussions around hearing aids. My son has no cognitive delay, he communicates but just not with speech (3rd baby, aware what I’m looking for) He’s just got hearing loss and hasn’t had the opportunity that his peers have to hear language and copy it. The consultant we’ve seen also works at our children’s hospital and said he would be on the NHS list no problem - the issue is that he’s waiting 56 weeks to see an NHS consultant and then a further 51 weeks for the grommet operation. 2 years of his (at that point 3 year old life) is us failing him. Hence us going without a holiday this year to get him the operation just before his second birthday, and feeling very fortunate to be able to do this for him

@viques thank you, I’ll definitely look into this method. She very intensely watches our faces so I know she’s trying to work it all out. We never have the tv on unless it’s downtime for her, so I’ll keep this up. She absolutely hates the hoover and hairdryer almost to an extreme and I wonder if that’s linked at all

@MrsC2018 absolutely could not agree more. Words straight out of my mouth.