8 month old, not sleeping through the night.

[Twistedunicorn]

Tired mama advice needed please. Buckle up it's a long one...

Wakes 6/7am has a 7oz bottle
Has breakfast which is usually porridge @ 8.30/9am
1st nap of the day about 10 is usually no longer than 45 minutes.
2nd 7oz bottle around half 11/12pm
Then lunch about 2pm which is scrambled eggs, toast etc
2nd nap again for no more than an hour
Playtime/walk for school run in between
3rd 7oz bottle 4/4.30pm
Dinner 5/6pm usually a pouch, fruit & yogurt
Bath and bedtime 7.30/8pm with another 7oz bottle

He will sleep till roughly 12/1am has another bottle, back to sleep and that's usually him until 6/7am.

He whale tails allllllllll night, bang bang bang 🤣🤣 also has two top teeth coming through which isn't helping but anbesol liquid is a lifesaver ATM.

Is there anything we should be doing that we're not or something we should be doing differently?

I should add is only just turned 2 so very much should nap, doesn't feed at night or anything. Is same if I'm with him or dad. Wakes as regularly before one of us goes to bed with him as after so not us disturbing him. Family members have offered to take to let us get some sleep thinking we're exaggerating or something and they have given up and called us to come get without making it to midnight as waking too often for them and too upset.

I've begged for a paediatric referall to find out if anything going on but stuck in waiting lists over a year for appointments.

Wow that must be awful. Hopefully he grows out of it as he gets older because that must be a killer. At least when you hear people moaning about babies and sleepless nights you know you're a fucking superhero for what you deal with😊

Jeez @FlyingHighFlyingLow that sounds rough and I'm terribly sorry if you thought this was a bragging post, its quite the opposite and just someone wingin it daily lol
By the sounds of things you and DH are absolutely smashing it and make an incredible wee team.

Thanks @Denim4ever I can't believe the difference in things between my first born and now, there's so much you can/can't do and I'm convinced my health visitor looks down her beak at me every time she's here lol

@Twistedunicorn lots of great advice already re upping calories for evening meal / bringing forward the bottle at 1am to 11ish then you can sleep through.

just wanted to add at 8months there’s loads going on developmentally plus you’ve mentioned teeth as well - I find that with teething / illness you just have to ride it out and things get naturally better / the changes you make actually work when they’re better or not teething.

and don’t pay any attention to people asking if they’re sleeping through - I think people just ask that because they think it’s a question they should ask. None of the friends I have had A baby who consistently slept through at 8 months without sleep training.

you could also try going to bed earlier yourself as you mentioend being really tired - it’s no fun but in this season basically going to bed when your child does at 8/9 would maximise your sleep too.

Some babies sleep through at 4mths. Some later. Waking once a night isn’t terrible tho obv tiring

I do believe sleep breeds sleep and doesn’t sound a lot of sleep daytime so could be over tired

I would also move lunch to earlier and afternoon nap earlier

7 wake milk
8 breakie
9/10 sleep
1030/11 milk
12 lunch
1/3 sleep
3 milk
430 tea
6 /630 start the 4 b’s - bath bottle book bed
7 bed

food. Lots of protein to keep full - you said you have a 7yr so whatever they eat - whizz up and give same time /next day so a meal in hand

a pouch isn’t filling

if he always wakes at night you can try a df at 11 and see if that helps.

Some babies works well. And you get sleep 1130 - 6/7

Others wake anyway for a feed later regardless as disrupts their natural sleep
pattern

Thank you @Theboymolefoxandhorse I'll definitely be taken all the advice on board, yeah he already has 2 bottom teeth and now the top ones are coming in so I know that's also causing him to wake.

Me and DH are terrible for wanting to stay awake, catch up on our programmes, have a cuppa or us time.

From the minute we wake in the morning its 100mph with our other ds as well and he's not one for sitting still 🤣

I've took a screenshot of your message @Blondeshavemorefun thanks so much.

My 7 year old has a touch of fussiness and tends to stick to the same things - pizza, nuggets, pasta. We've fought for years to get him eating better but feds best imo and what he doesn't know is when he gets spag bol, lasagne etc its full to the brim of hidden veggies and thankfully the one thing he loves is fruit.

I think he needs more food. Breakfast at 8.30am to lunch at 2pm is too long even with a bottle inbetween and tea needs to be more substantial than a pouch

Our DS was a fab sleeper - right through from 11 weeks. When DD got to 8 months she was a bit like your DC and I was committed to helping her sleep though. A few suggestions:

• change from a bottle if milk during the night to water. No tasty snack they might not bother getting up. Took 4 nights for that to work for us.

• don’t speak to them or do much eye contact when they do get up at night - be the most boring person ever.

• I’d try doing dinner a little earlier and bed a little earlier (5 dinner, 6:30 bed). Seems early to lots of folk and counter intuitive but it worked wonders for us.

• might find that morning nap pushed back a bit once they sleep through. Routines change all the time during the day but bedtime can be pretty steady.

im sure others will have lots to say but that worked for us.

Gosh we did exact same!!! Each night watered bottle down ounce by ounce untl DS refused it then stopped waking. And yes I never spoke, no eye contact, kept room dark....nothing going on here! Always in bed for 6ish...woke at 6amish but 12 hours couldnt complain and we got our evenings and sleep ourselves

Current advice is 3 meals from 9 months old and snacks from 12 months old. Foos has fewer calories than milk so I wouldn’t be adding in more food but I agree a pouch is for an emergency it’s not dinner.

Yep get the 3 meals BUT from 8.30am till 2pm is way too long. And tea...a pouch isnt a meal

Sounds great to me and very normal. I hate to tell you, but neither of mine slept through regularly until 3 and one still woke a few nights a week until 6.

With one waking, assuming you’re going to bed at a reasonable time, you should be getting loads of sleep. And if bottle feeding you can trade off and get a full nights sleep several times a week.

Neither normal nor abnormal. There will be loads of babies sleeping through, and some that don’t. These topics always highlight the extremes of the spectrum. If you’re both happy then that’s all that matters

I've realised I need to start going to bed at a reasonable time, I'll end up exhausted otherwise.

I go to bed roughly midnight ish and he's wakening up about an hour later 💤 and apparently I'm the only one with working ears 😄 🤣

Then try a df at 10/11 and see if helps sleep at night

offer water at night unless you think truly hungry - assume feeds and settles /sleeps after so may be hungry

so back to more filling foods /meals

tho daytime milk is just as important as food

Your baby is not eating enough solids and drinking too much formula milk.

At 8 months their dinner needs to be a lot more substantial than fruit and yogurt. Breakfast and lunch could have those added to it, then do something totally different for dinner.

They're also on over 1000ml in a 24 hour period, whenever the recommendation is to try aim for 500-600ml after a couple of months weaning.

Essentially they're waking up because they're hungry, and they're hungry because they're still too reliant on milk even after solids have been introduced.

You also need to swap the order - you are doing bottle then food. You need to at this point go food then bottle.

Make these changes and I think you'll see a significant shift in nighttime temperament.

@FlyingHighFlyingLowits awful isn’t it. My 2 year old is the same 😴 my 9 year old only started sleeping better last year but still wakes up every night. We’ve done countless sleep bundles from the health visitor but it seems they just have very low sleep needs

My 9 month old wakes up roughly every 40 minutes.

In fact I just heard her cry right on cue after being put down at 8pm. My husband has gone to resettle her as I sit on the floor of my almost 5 year old's bedroom waiting for her to fall asleep.

My almost 5 year old that has quite literally never slept through the night. Enjoy your one wake up 😁

@onlyliquoranointsyou and I'm honestly sorry to hear that, if you'd taken the time to read my comments you would see for yourself it's definitely not a bragging post, I'm really sorry you're all going through that and who knows I might be in a similar situation myself one day, I know tho I won't be commenting on a post where someone's seeking advice telling them "aw well it could be worse, you could be in my situ" I'd scroll by or offer kind words of support. But hey each to their own! 😁😁

I also think there's sometimes a bit of reverse bragging goes on in this forum (not from you) as if your baby not sleeping through the night is some sort of badge of honour because it shows you don't sleep train and they're wholly reliant on you! Weird vibes here when it comes to sleep discussion, I think.

Lots of people seem to just think you have to accept babies being terrible sleepers for an infinite period of time which simply isn't true. Once they're on solids and reducing their milk intake there's no biological reason why all babies should be unable to consolidate and regulate their sleep, with help and training from their parents, of course. This business of "my four year old still wakes up four times a night it just happens!" is nonsense, I'm afraid. That kind of behaviour is not normal and isn't healthy for the child or their parents.

Bit of a rant but OP, you are absolutely doing nothing wrong by asking this question. Don't be guilt tripped by others into thinking you are.

@bouncingblob absolutely! Mumsnet reminds me of those judgey playground parents who expect us just to be jolly, excited and love our kids 100% of the time (not in this house) you should see the looks I get explaining how sh1t of a sleep we got last night or how my other son gave me the finger and was cheeky to me...

Its not like I don't get how it feels, in the first few weeks we barely slept a wink, DS was riddled with colic, reflux and constipation which had him crying and screaming all night so the sleepless nights arent new to me nor is it something I'd tell a parent who's child isn't sleeping n be snide about it.

OP, my DD is 5 and she still wakes up once a night…
At that age she was probably up 10 to 20 times a night. Count your lucky stars!

He seems to be having a lot of his substantial solids before his second nap? I would slowly try to introduce a lighter lunch and a bigger dinner followed by a bedtime bottle to see him through? Once mine were onto solid food they slept through, it seems he’s waking from hunger. I wouldn’t rely on the dream feed, I think he needs more substance during the latter part of the day? Teeth probably aren’t helping either!

@ArtfulDoddger over the past few days we've made major changes and noticing a difference

He's now been having 2 naps a day which have been between 1-2 hrs, he has porridge for brekky, small lunch then for dinner we've just been giving him what we have but a smaller portion, fruit and yogurt for pudding.

He's been having roughly 3/4 bottles throughout the day but hasn't fully finished one and the past 2 nights hes went to bed, woke about 2am has a feed,change and back to sleep.

Somethings definitely made a difference.