Is this teacher banter ok?

[cheesysitwots]

My friend’s daughter was spraying perfume in class. The teacher jokingly said “come on now put it away, no one cares what you smell like right now”. I think the teacher was managing the situation without a power struggle but my friend thinks differently.

what are your thoughts?

no one cares what you smell like right now

It’s not ‘banter’ just a lie.

Your friend sounds like the worst kind of parent, the one teachers all dread.

If my DD came home and said she'd been spraying perfume when she should have been working, I wouldn't be interested in what the teacher had said, I'd be very annoyed at her for even taking perfume into school.

A teacher trying to defuse a bit of misbehaviour without escalating...prudent enough I would have thought?

I’m Scottish and can confidently say that that isn’t Banter.

I don't know how some people get out of bed in the morning.

Spraying in a classroom is so rude. Do it before you leave the house. If it doesn't last all day, buy something better quality.

I think that would only be the case if the teacher had said something like “no one cares that you smell right now”

Me too 😂

Your friend is one of those parents then.

Ffs. Who would be a teacher with parents like this? Absolutely pathetic.

I dont understand how your friend is managing to twist this as being unreasonable.
I also think you don't understand what 'banter' means.

Your friend sounds like the kind of parent who would have a note in capitals on their contact file saying “DO NOT CONTACT. CONTACT SENIOT MANAGEMENT IF THERE IS AN ISSUE”. If it had been my class the perfume would have been confiscated and the child in detention. Severe allergic reactions to perfume aren’t funny.

I've just asked 15yo DD and she near lost it over this (my bad for asking this late at night).

Apparently (her thoughts not mine) that is not banter, the teacher sounds sassy as yes, people do care what you smell like because it's awful sitting near stinky kids, therefore kids only spray perfume if they 1. Think they smell, 2. Want to smell nice (and therefore think they don't)!

I have pointed out that if she came home and told me that had been said to her I'd tell her to suck it up buttercup!

That did not go down well 😂

@TheRedBear god I feel sorry for teachers. I cannot comprehend ever considering a teacher "sassy". You might disagree with what they say but sassy ? There's no respect for authority is there?

It is interesting to hear her pov though. So incredibly sensitive. I think schools need to have a word about not spraying perfume. Perhaps if it was discussed more generally, individual kids doing it would feel less embarrassed when told not to.

It was probably impulse body spray when I was at school but nobody was spraying in classrooms!

This is why I want to leave teaching. The job has become impossible.

It's really sad and worrying @FiercelyFree

I don't know how anyone does it unless they're very young and full of energy but we need experienced teachers so badly.

I'm 56 and just trying to hold out a bit longer to bump my pension up, however, it's becoming more difficult when the student is always right.

Teachers response is absolutely fine and factual. Friend’s daughter should not have been spraying perfume.

I think the PP meant "except" otherwise the post makes no sense!

OP your friend is a dick.

Tell me about it! Although she has confirmed today it sounds more sarcastic than sassy.

My husband - DD's dad - has just left teaching after 26 years because of this type of attitude - judgey and always right regardless...however, our daughter would NEVER voice it like that at school. She always behaves with the utmost respect to the teachers, even if she disagrees totally with what they say and do.

Home is a safe space for her to vent her teen opinions on the unfairness of adults who "haven't got a clue what it's like!" We do our best to listen and challenge some of the more ridiculous things she says.

Doubly interesting, I also used to be a teacher and find her views on things I would have said enlightening. I probably would have said something similar to a student and would never have thought offence could be taken.

I am also very aware that 15 is a key age for them being completely self-centred and unempathic, so am not too worried about her judgeyness😂

This!

I would have been fine with any comment in this case. It’s disrespectful and self entitled to spray perfume in a public space. Maybe take the opportunity to teach her why spraying perfume in a classroom is inappropriate

What’s the banter…

My sympathies are squarely with the teacher.

Some years back, a pupil complained because, when I saw that she was applying make-up instead of doing her work, I had the temerity to say "You can beautify yourself another time."