14 year old DS and first girlfriend (16) want a sleepover.

[WishfulThinkingToday]

My DS was invited to stay at his girlfriend’s house for the night. I guess I am quite strict and so is my husband, we both said no. They don’t have a spare bed as yet, but are willing to buy one for their spare room if he stayed with them.

However, talking to friends and girlfriend’s mother it seems like sleepovers are a common thing to do at this age. They have sleepovers in the living room or with two extra friends in the bedroom.

When I was young my Mother basically went crazy just hearing I had a boyfriend at 17, never-mind sleepovers! I thought I was being lenient with my son by having a girlfriend so young, and a sleepover is a step too far.

Am I overreacting? What do other parents think?

At 14 he really shouldn't have a 16 year old girlfriend.
Are they actually girlfriend/boyfriend or just mates?

Well, if you think they are likely to have sex, obviously she is over the age of consent and he is not? So, surely a really bad idea for both of them

Sleepovers between "girlfriend and boyfriend" is very uncommon at age 14, for good reason. I am also surprised a 14 yo boy is dating a 16yo girl. The difference in maturity levels at those ages is usually quite significant

At 14??? Absolutely no chance.

Absolutely no girlfriend/boyfriend sleepovers until both are over 16 is my rule and I'd stick to it. Friend sleepovers are a different matter.

No chance!

That would be a big fat nope.
The age dynamic is quite unusual.
No relationship sleepovers before 16.
Quite surprising her parents would be ok with it.

We they may want, but they can't have! The gf is on very dodgy ground. Warn them not to even exchange intimate photos or chats.
We were bloody lax but I never let DS have sleep overs until I could verify that he and the girl were 16

I’ll bet they do!

Absolutely categorically not I’d be questioning the parents of the girl and how liberal they appear to be.

edited to add: my now 19 year old wasn’t allowed her bf to stay until they were both 17. He stays over from time to time now and she at his house but I had a huge chat with his Mum beforehand to give her assurances my dd was on the pill and respectful. It must be an added worry with boy parents as I know I can keep my dd a bit safer from mistakes. That said, please have the condom conversation! If he’s embarrassed to talk about it he certainly isn’t ready for a “sleepover”

Absolutely not. I have a 16 yo dd who wouldn’t dream of dating a 14yo! My dd does have sleepovers with her 16 yo boyfriend. Only since they turned 16.

14? 14 and 16 is a HUGE difference at that age. Massive. I wouldn't even be friends with a 14 yr old when I was 16, never met be 'going out ' with one.

Big fat NOPE from me too. And I'd be questioning what on earth a 16 yr old girl even sees in my 14 yr old child.

At 14? No way!

Haha! Nope

He’s 14! He shouldn’t even have a 16yo girlfriend let alone be able to sleep over…. She’d be committing a crime if they had sex and I hope her parents know that.

At 14 no, and I agree with others that it’s an odd age gap.

How far apart are they in age - is she only just 16 and him about to turn 15?

Nuts to even consider it and I don’t believe for a second this is common among other 14 year olds. There’s absolutely no way I’d allow that.

Also. Parent by your own standards and rules. Don’t be swayed because “everyone else is doing it”.

No way. You decide what is best for your child and how you want to parent. Not someone else.

For me, that means they both need to be of the age of consent, have been in a relationship for 6 months minimum, understand consent and have contraception in place.

I also think making it easy for kids to have sex in a kind of “living together” environment puts too much pressure on the relationship and leads to non real world expectations for them. I do not see it as something to encourage

That's not an appropriate age gap. No self respecting girl aged 16 would date a 14 year old. Odd.

My ex boyfriend had his first kid at 13. Just saying.

No way. At 16 I would deem a 14 year old as a silly kid. At least 18 would be my target 😊😊

Omg how old was the mother?

Platonic sleepovers - fine!
boyfriend and girlfriend? That’s simple: no.

Exactly this! Utter madness.

Absolutely not. My stomach turns when I think of what I was upto at 15 now! No way I would allow this.

Platonic same sex sleepovers, surely?