MIL bought baby boy doll with willy for my DD

[AlwaysHopefull89]

I am pregnant and expecting a baby boy. MIL (very kindly) bought a baby doll with a very obvious willy… in preparation?

I don’t think my DD who is 3 needs to understand the anatomy of her little brother yet until I say so? She hasn’t been asking about private parts yet let alone little boys?!

When I saw her she then finally said ‘I hope it was ok to give it to her’… is it just me or is this odd?

DH said it was a good idea to ‘prepare her’ but I think the opposite? Am I being a bit OTT? 🤦🏻‍♀️

My niece never had a baby brother but for a very short period of time began asking about willies ( think its fairly normal stage for some children when they realise boys and girls are different) , she asked her grandad if he had a willy like daddy , he replied yes he did , end of conversation!
My sister was concerned at the time, explained about parts being private for everyone, but was thankfully just a very short lived phase . My friends son asked if his baby sisters willy has fallen off 😂
Think the dolls a great idea personally .

Yet another reason to bring back the 😂, HQ

Anyone of a certain age will remember Carrie and Christopher dolls and EVERYONE wanted the boy doll because he had a willy 😂

Children should have dolls of both sexes. Your mil hasn't done anything wrong.

There is a world of difference between teaching children about the human body and the names for body parts and teaching them about sex.

It's important to equip children with the right language so they can protect themselves (people are only allowed to touch you on your penis and bum when helping clean away your poo unless mummy is there) also tell others accurately if something is wrong and they are unsafe. That also helps parents differentiate between what's normal bathing or cleaning and what's abusive- if everything is a 'fluff' then that becomes much harder. The actual 'sex' and intimacy conversation comes later on because that's not on young children's minds. So up to that point they are literally just body parts like a leg or an ear that they need a name for.

It's a very wise move.

And please use it and your daughter's dolls to teach them both anatomically correct terms for their bodies. None of this flower/cookie/winkie nonsense. Teaching correct terms helps protect children, and helps them speak up and ask for help if they have a problem.

It’s good for children to see these things, it’s natural. My parents always walked around naked when we were young.

That escalated quickly . . . 😂

I think it’s a lovely gift!

You are being silly. Half the population of the world has this body part. It’s not a secret or something shameful. Does your DD never see her father undressed?

It was a good idea of MIL's and matter-of-fact explanations now will save you having to think about it after the baby is born. You don’t need to go into great detail or launch into a full-on sex education session - just tell your DD that boys' and girls' bodies are a bit different and that’s how boys wee.

That’s the title for the book about the male superiority complex sorted . . .

It would be more woke to pretend that under their clothes all people are the same and people or parents just choose to either wear clothes and act as a girl or a boy.

But nudity isn't disgusting and linked with abuse? I used to like splashing around in the bath with my dad, and of course I saw my mum nude occasionally too. And of course young kids are always nude during potty training.

Do you really think that seeing your family with no clothes on is abusive?

Don’t be ridiculous!!

My local shopping centre now has very swish loos plus a disabled loo and a separate family loo where parents can take children. Before that, on several occasions when I had my own child in a buggy I'd seen a dad with a young daughter hesitating on whether to take her in with him or leave her outside and I've offered to look after the girl while he nips into the gents. Family rooms are a good idea.

With a new baby coming I think an anatomically correct doll is an excellent gift.

Way healthier than the bizarre smooth nothingness that's a hangover from ... well I don't know what.

Don't make it a big deal, try to be matter of fact about it and consider that a healthy pragmatism is far better than the prudishness in the UK (which also has some of the highest rates of teen pregnancy and sexual crimes, I can't help thinking the UK is completely messed up when it comes to sex).

I think people are actually saying YABU.

I think it is great - much better than the dolls we had with simply a rounded off shape at the front with maybe the merest hint of a butt crack.

What I wouldn't do is point it out - any more than you would his shoulders or neck etc. Just answer straight if she asks and get on with life. I actually think, provided it is all introduced without great fanfare, it was a really thoughtful idea of MIL.

🤣🤣🤣

To be fair, she used it as contrast to penis in the next line so she isn't afraid to use the word.

People misuse the word vagina precisely because there are grown ups who can't use proper anatomical words and so this ridiculous situation has evolved where adults don't know the difference between vaginas and vulvas.

Vagina, vulva and penis are no more "cold and clinical" than arm, leg and foot. We don't need "friendly" names for other body parts. It's beyond pathetic that some adults need them for genitalia.

I had a doll with a penis when I was little. I'm over 50.

News flash! MIL does something most Mumsnetters agree with! Breach in the space time continuum incoming……!

Have you read the post earlier in the thread from the poster that was abused?
I assume your children didn't go to nursery either given they'd probably be exposed to dolls like these

That would mean that she would have to check in detail about every thing she says and every little gift she buys to make sure it meets parental approval. It’s a bit OTT. She has probably thought no further about this than thinking she would get a boy doll as her granddaughter will be having a little brother. Op , I would just let your daughter play with the doll like any other doll and wait to see if she asks questions, in which case you can explain that it’s a boy.

You have a problem.

We’ve woken up in an alternative universe 😱🤣