MIL bought baby boy doll with willy for my DD

[AlwaysHopefull89]

I am pregnant and expecting a baby boy. MIL (very kindly) bought a baby doll with a very obvious willy… in preparation?

I don’t think my DD who is 3 needs to understand the anatomy of her little brother yet until I say so? She hasn’t been asking about private parts yet let alone little boys?!

When I saw her she then finally said ‘I hope it was ok to give it to her’… is it just me or is this odd?

DH said it was a good idea to ‘prepare her’ but I think the opposite? Am I being a bit OTT? 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't think you call it 'expose yourself' if a toddler sees their parents getting dressed or out of the bath or shower. You can't shut a small child out of the bathroom if you are alone in the house. We're not talking erect penises and child abuse here, just people going about their lives, talk about prudish.

Sorry, what? 😵‍💫

And then there's my son who, ever since he could sit up, will play with his willy at any given opportunity -with his sister around - which she finds hilarious.

(He's 10 months btw 😂)

My daughter had the anatomically correct girl and boy dolls from the ELC when she was little.

I bought them both 🤷🏻‍♀️

I really can't see what the problem is.

You make some really good points. If poor old grandpa was having his pads/diaper changed, you wouldn't have little children watching, would you. If it was me, I certainly wouldn't want my grandchildren gathered around and being grossed out by it. It should be private as possible, no matter the age.

Have you got actual kids? They give zero fucks about privacy until approaching puberty. My nearly 9 year old wanders round naked and has to be told to put pants on and we've had to specify that he & his little sister need to close the door/not wander in on each other peeing as they don't care if the other does!

I don’t see the problem. The baby dolls at the toddler group we go to have willies. I remember having dolls with them as a small kid too.

There are a lot of ways to make sure you don’t expose yourself to your children there’s really no excuse other than you don’t care

We subscribe to the german/scandi model of not sexualising nudity. Its all well and good being prudish about it at home but thats all for nought if you go skiing in Austria and everyone is in the buff walking out the sauna. Or you are a member of a david lloyd where adults will walk round the changing rooms completely naked.

I actually believe its really healthy for DC to see normal bodies, warts/hair/chubby bits and all.

Hahhaahaaa rofl

🤣🤣🤣 "Everything I don't like is woke"

Well yeah, most people literally don't care about this.

Some absolutely mental responses on this thread 😅 Have we bussed in a load of Victorian time travellers?

OP. I'm saying this very gently but you are being a bit OTT worrying about this. I don't ever remember 'being prepared' for a brother (and I have 4!). And slightly wandering away from your question I was very happy when my mum bought my own DD twins. With very detailed and finely sculpted genetalia. One of each. This was the early 90s and as a childminder I had been looking for a boy doll for ages. They weren't seen a lot. At my next toddler group all the mum's were asking where my mum got them from as they were after a boy doll too.
She probably won't even bat an eyelid.

Oh my. I wrote my post before I read till the end. I'm sure that in 2025 your own DC seeing you in the nude is perfectly normal?
I shared a bath with my dad in the 70s (and I remember being very sad when I suppose I got too old and he stopped it.)
I can't believe there are still people who think this is wrong.
I'm not talking about the people who make the decision that they are uncomfortable about it, and decide it's not for them, I'm talking about the people who decide I should have been uncomfortable about it and try to shame parents who are totally fine with it.
My grandson came into the bedroom whilst I was dressing yesterday. He didn't even look. Just went straight to my dolls house.

Why? DH and I— and my parents who look after our children a lot— have never tried to hide our bodies. I’m not talking naturist-style, but if I’m getting out of the shower and either of my daughters are around and see me in the moments before I put a towel around myself, I’m not going to hide my body. Same deal after swimming or any sort of activity where we might need to get changed together.

They’re 11 and 9 now and private about their own bodies, but they don’t blink at seeing mine, DHs or their Nan and Grandad’s bodies. I was the same with my parents and grandparents bodies… they were my caregivers and occasionally I’d see them in the nip!

I have never considered this before because it’s how I was bought up and DH is the same…. Are we weird? Is this not what people do in families?!

There's only three odd things on this thread...

People in this day and age still referring to "willies". There's nothing shameful in using the correct words for anatomy. It's no wonder lots of older kids snigger about body parts and body functions.

The pearl clutching about a toddler seeing a parent's genitals briefly. There will be times where it's hard to avoid, for example.. if you have to have your small child in the bathroom/cubicle with you for safekeeping while you attempt to go to the toilet or take a shower.

The "keep nappy changing private" brigade. By all means keep it private from strangers, but at home, if baby needs changing, you're not going to lock your toddler in a separate room. I used to chuck the changing mat on the floor and DD1 would help me with DD2 by passing items from the change bag.

😆 best comment on this thread so far and there has been some amazing ones!

OP mum of boys here and we have a boy doll here as our youngest one wanted a boy doll to play with and a pram etc I think he would have found it very odd if it didn’t have a willy!
My kids used to clamber in the bath with both me or my DH when they were toddlers, and they definitely saw us getting changed at swimming etc and haven’t been traumatised nor has it made them exhibitionists, they close their doors when getting changed now and I always knock if it’s a time of day when I think they may be getting changed before entering.
My youngest when sharing a bath with his younger cousin at around 2 thought that her willy had fallen off, an age appropriate explanation was given as to why she didn’t have one and he’s never batted an eyelid since.
At his swimming lessons the children use the changing rooms based on their parents gender, swim school rules. So he is usually surrounded by little girls in various states of undress, with a few little boys sprinkled in, no bats an eyelid so I’m guessing all these 5 year olds must have seen opposite gender bodies regularly!
Your MIL sounds lovely to have cared enough to try and get her a doll that will help her feel included.

I think the real issue is, it’s your call what yor daughter sees and knows not your mil’s. Has she overstepped before

You’re having a baby boy. She’s been given a boy doll to make her feel part of the whole thing.

I don’t see the issue.

She bought her grandchildren a doll, a lond thing to do. No overstepping and the child's other parent, who has as much of a say, is perfectly fine with it. Some people seem to just enjoy fuss and drama.

It’s fine YABU

I wish I’d thought to do this with my son when he was little. He had a baby brother and when he saw a friend’s baby girl being changed after swimming he said in dismay ‘oh nooooo, mummy, that baby’s penis has fallen off’.

This thread is so interesting. Lots of people calling body parts ‘nick names’ and implying they should be hidden from view at all times.

I am a mother with two preschool aged sons and I take them swimming and out of the house. How could I ever get changed or use the toilet if they were banned from seeing my body? (Or would this be deemed different if I was a dad with daughters, I wonder?).

To my children my private area (and their father’s of course) is no more sexual than my arms or legs, it’s just a body part with a name like the rest of my body parts that I use to go to the loo from. It would never even occur to me to think beyond that?!

It’s hard to change the mindset when you might have grown up with the shaming, hide your body, you can’t use the real names for them sort of situation. I know this because I was that child. But I wish I’d known, and not felt shame instilled into my body from such a young age and need to hide things, for a myriad of really unpleasant reasons.

I know a wee girl who asked 'Whats that?' As she tried to pull it.

I wonder if MIL has had similar experience. Because I think its a very thoughtful gift.

I’m really glad to see the majority of sensible answers on this thread and only a few weird ones.

I think you need to be more on it with body parts. Have you not taught her that she has a vagina and vulva and men and boys have a penis and testicles? So having a baby boy dolly isn't a big deal?

My god, why would this be an issue? Is it a MIL thing, do you hate her OP? because I just can't see what the hell you would be concerned about. Does she not know the difference between boys and girls?