How old would you leave your child home alone?

[Howdoyoulikeyoureggsinthemornin]

My l/o is 9 and it's just us at home. We live on a quiet estate, full of families. They're able to keep themselves occupied and stay out of trouble.
Ive been feeling extremely down about myself lately, middle age spread is creeping up and I can feel myself becoming really run down. My mental health and confidence is really starting to deteriorate, as I have no free nights or time to myself, as well as perimenopause making its changes.
I'm hoping to attend a gym class in the next few months, it would be 45 minutes long twice a week. I know there are no laws regarding leave your child at home as long as they're mature enough, but I'd like to know at what age people began leaving their children at home for small bursts of time.

Thank you .

I think WFH.

We realised recently that with both of us hybrid working, by default our kids simply don't need to be home alone regularly. I think it's important that they develop those skills and resilience tho so we have had to almost engineer opportunities to start getting our 9 year old some experience of it (10 mins once a week when I drop the younger one to a club) because I don't want to get to 14 and then find he is super anxious about it because we never have.

And I agree with building up to it. Started with me nipping to the shop across the road (out of the house 5-10mins) and occasional errands when I’ve given them the choice of staying at home or coming with me - generally they want to stay home!

Rea shocked at the not till 14 or 15 comments!! Do none of you work? We started at 9 (but nearly 10) but started with 15mins and built up gradually. My children both have summer birthdays so started secondary school just after their 11th birthdays. Once they started secondary there is no childcare so they had to walk home, let themselves in, and be at home alone till we got home from work (varied between 4.30 and 6). We were always aware this would be the case so built up to it gradually. We discussed potential problems and what to do about it. They’ve never had any issues. My youngest (now 12) was nervous at first so we did lots of short practices until he felt confident.

OP I think what you are describing would be fine from age 10 but I would practice with some shorter times first to get them used to it. Children need to be given some independence, it’s good for them. I think not leaving a child alone until they are 14/15 is absolutely terrible parenting (obviously different if the child has additional needs.) The advent of parents working from home has been terrible for children building independence and problem solving in my opinion.

I’m really shocked by this. If you are serious then please rethink. You are damaging your children by mollycoddling them to this degree. Unless there are significant additional needs involved a 14 year old who isn’t capable of being left alone is a real cause for concern.

Things feel scarier for a child when it’s dark so I’ll only leave him during the day until he’s older.

OP wouldn’t be leaving her child literally in the dark though. Presumably they have lights in the house and curtains. I understand perhaps being a bit more cautious with children being outside in the dark when young but in the house, I don’t think it being dark is a factor to note.

For clarity, I asked the age of when most people leave their children alone.

I am not starting the gym tomorrow, without my child's knowledge.

They will not be outside or inside in the dark. Although they have no fear of the dark but still.

I have stated several times they're 10 in February. As I did say in post I'd be looking to start in a few months.

They have a mobile and obviously I would have mine in front of me the entire 45 minutes of the class.

They have known what to do in an emergency since they were 3 and knowledge has obviously developed as they've gotten bigger.

I will be starting now with small trips around the block, walking to the shop etc and then plan to go when they are 10 in a few months.

Thanks again to all the sensible posters and feedback. X

In my country at 9 they're too old for afterschool club so they are all (with the exception of severe extra needs) expected to be able to look after themselves at home for several hours alone, let alone just over an hour. Its generally expected that 7 year olds can manage for an hour at home alone.

Definitely build up to it OP, start with 10/15 minutes while you go for a walk. Does your child have a way to contact you? And is your child comfortable with the idea of being home alone? That's the most important thing to consider.

Can your DD go to an after school club and you do a gym session then?

I think its fine. Mine are 9 and 11 now (the 9 year old is the more responsible one) and they are regularly home alone for an hour or so because they finish school about an hour before i finish work most days. Ive also had my kids go on play dates where the parents said they wont be around until a bit later.