How old would you leave your child home alone?

[Howdoyoulikeyoureggsinthemornin]

My l/o is 9 and it's just us at home. We live on a quiet estate, full of families. They're able to keep themselves occupied and stay out of trouble.
Ive been feeling extremely down about myself lately, middle age spread is creeping up and I can feel myself becoming really run down. My mental health and confidence is really starting to deteriorate, as I have no free nights or time to myself, as well as perimenopause making its changes.
I'm hoping to attend a gym class in the next few months, it would be 45 minutes long twice a week. I know there are no laws regarding leave your child at home as long as they're mature enough, but I'd like to know at what age people began leaving their children at home for small bursts of time.

Thank you .

No, 9 is too young to leave for an hour. I wouldn't do it until age 11/12.

I left my DS for an hour or so from 10, probably closer to 11, but he is an only child who has always enjoyed his own company and we went through rules and a couple of scenarios each time.

Around 11 to 12 years. Ours of that age have grandparents close by on call if necessary.

My children are 16 and 14 and I would have left them for an hour from about 9. Posters that are saying from 14 that is just crazy unless the child has special needs.
My nephew is 9, turning 10 soon ( year 5) and he is fine to be left for short periods, and can get himself back from school on his bike etc.

Probably around 10/11, assuming they had a way to reach me (phone or tablet).

At 9 no, don’t think I would have. But DC were coming home on the bus from 11, and in DS2 just 11 as an Aug baby. They were left home alone for short periods before then, maybe after 10. Depends on the child too, and how they’d react in an emergency, how far away you are etc. I don’t think it would be terrible to leave them, but you know them best.

I think it's too young. What would happen if you had an accident or something , no one would know your child was home alone?

Also in an exercise class you can’t really keep an eye on your phone in case he needs you.

Unless it's swimming, why wouldn't you benefit from doing the same kind of class at home?

14 minimum

YABU to consider leaving a 9 yo home alone for an hour, particularly in the winter when it’s dark outside. I also think you’re very unreasonable for allowing a 9yo to get this immersed in online gaming. A ‘gaming day’?!?! Tbh, as a teacher, this worries more than the being home alone. How much do you know about what they’re playing/who they’re talking to etc? Do read some research on the effect of gaming on development of pre-teen brains, particularly if they are using FPS (first person shooter) games.

I started leaving my 10/11 year old for short burst (10-15 min) while I nipped to shop. At 11 she started doing secondary school route solo she started letting herself in at 13 and entertaining herself for an hour.

Earliest was aged 10 for about 20 mins, picking or dropping off sibling to a club and only if they were comfortable with it. No way I would’ve left for 45 mins. Once they’re at secondary it changes, but DS didn’t like being left alone for long periods for a while.

Yes, I wouldn't wish to attend a gym which doesn't permit my dear Children to be present💚

@WilliamBell the op is quite obviously a lone parent with a limited/non existent support network and just needs an hour to herself. Don’t be obtuse.

9/10 year olds walk home from school alone - up to an hour with a sensible child would be ok for me and my eldest who is nearly 10 is fine with an hour on their own every now and then

I'm wondering how those saying from 14 only work? From secondary school age (11) there is no after school childcare, there's no full time holiday clubs in my area. I couldn't work without leaving my dc alone.

I began leaving my sensible 9 year old for a few minutes last year if I nipped to the shop or to drop her brother at a club .

That went well and we’ve gradually built up to her walking home independently, and I would probably leave her for an hour or so now at 10 and a half. I’d still be a bit cautious about doing it if I was at an exercise class as it would be tricky to answer the phone if she needed me.

So, I think that you’re nearly there but not quite yet. I like your plan of going for a short walk and building it up.

😂 kids walk to school by themselves from age 10, and get buses to secondary school from 11 and you think they can't be left home alone until 15?!

Some of these answers are laughable!

There are 2 parts at play - the trust you have in the child, plus how content the child is to be left.

At 9, I think going from nothing to over a hour where you won't be readily contactable is too much.

Build it up - go for a walk (jog? Maybe look at couch 2 5k in a few months - thst is max 40 mins door to door), and look at the hour long class once it's light when you'll return - so build it up over the winter time, ready for the gym class in the spring once the clocks have changed again.

Once at secondary (so, 11), any kid whose parents work are likely to be getting themselves home from school, and letting themselves in for a couple of hours.

It's not an age - it's about capability.

• Are they happy to be left?
• Would they know what to do if things went wrong?

If 2 X yes, then you're fine.

I don't think a 9 yr old could cope in an emergency.

I didn't until age 11 and my dc had lots of freedom compared to what some mumsnet posters allow.
I personally think age 14 is complete overkill. Once they are in secondary, many kids spend an hour just getting home from school by themselves.

Very much depends on the child. My eldest would have been fine at almost 10, for an hour, my youngest not - though now at 12, I can leave her for up to an hour.

We have phones and the ability to be in constant contact, so if the child is sensible, I don't see why they can't be left watching a film after aged 10 while you pop to a nearby gym.

I’m very relaxed as a parent and in mumsnet terms probably neglectful 😅 but I also think 9 is too young especially in the given circumstances. They aren’t used to being left, you’re not really contactable during a class. It’s also worse imo that they are engrossed in a game as anything could happen outside of the room and they not be aware. I’d say closer to 11 for such regularity in these circumstances although would definitely start popping out to the shop or for a little walk, phone in hand soon. You mention a cousin close by. Can they pop over so you can attend the class? The suggestion of 14 is nuts 😅

This for me would be a reason not to leave them. I think before being left home alone kids need to be consciously aware of what’s going on around them.