How old would you leave your child home alone?

[Howdoyoulikeyoureggsinthemornin]

My l/o is 9 and it's just us at home. We live on a quiet estate, full of families. They're able to keep themselves occupied and stay out of trouble.
Ive been feeling extremely down about myself lately, middle age spread is creeping up and I can feel myself becoming really run down. My mental health and confidence is really starting to deteriorate, as I have no free nights or time to myself, as well as perimenopause making its changes.
I'm hoping to attend a gym class in the next few months, it would be 45 minutes long twice a week. I know there are no laws regarding leave your child at home as long as they're mature enough, but I'd like to know at what age people began leaving their children at home for small bursts of time.

Thank you .

@Phonicshaskilledmeoff we live in a village so we don't get traffic jams fortunately. Very lucky to live in the area we're in.

My youngest is 10, I would do this with her as long as it wasn’t too late at night.
If your DC is happy with it and sensible I think it’s fine and that there’s someone who could go to her in an emergency (as in something happened to you and you couldn’t get home).
Can’t believe some people are saying 14/15 tbh, they start secondary school at 11!

There isn’t an arbitrary answer to what age a child can be left alone but I wouldn’t leave a 9 year for an hour.

A short walk to and from school with someone expecting them at the end or a quick round trip to the shops is different.

14 😂

Most 9 year olds should be ok with being left for an hour.

A sensible 11 yo would be okay for an hour. They’d have to be able to contact you at any time and for or a neighbour to get there in 5 mins max. Obvious question, have you a husband, neighbours, friends or babysitter you could use more regularly?
or can you get a treadmill at home? Your DD safety, security and sense of that takes priority and you need to think of other ways to get out and be happy.

I have no issue with leaving a sensible 9 year old home alone for an hour in the daylight and have done so with all 3 of my kids.

@user2848502016 posting for a bit of rage baiting attention I think. Just ignore them.

It would be starting at 6pm, so time for club, tea, shower and settle in their room. They're usually in their bed at this time gaming, reading or watching tv anyway. They'd have a phone and our cousin lives over the road on the same estate.
There's always a neighbour in next door also. I just need to do something for myself. It will benefit us both greatly in the long run, as I can feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into a dark spot.
I work full time and have 4 hours a month to myself if I'm lucky. They're a smart, sensible child and if I didn't trust them it obviously wouldn't even be something I'd consider x

I gave my 9.5 year old the choice: "Would you rather we woke you up at 5.30 and you came with us to drop your brother off at school for his expedition (45 minute round trip), or would you rather stay asleep and wake up at your normal time?"

He chose the latter.

From the sounds of it, they have access to the internet which is completely unsupervised and far more of a risk to young children these days so I’m not sure why you are worrying about leaving them alone at home.

Yeah mine usually hasn't moved from where I left him on the sofa 😂 just see how he gets on.

@thecomedyofterrors you need to honestly ask yourself if you really believe people don't think of such obvious things and alternatives. It is pretty obvious people would consider all alternatives. Before commenting on future posts, please ensure you read the thread before commenting.

take her with you. Or find a live online class to do at home that you pay up front for and so are committed.

Sounds like you need a break generally. Does your child go on play dates or to parties? Can she visit grandparents etc for an afternoon?

I wouldn't at 9/10 no. Do a workout at home.

I leave my 9 and 11 year old home together for up to an hour regularly.

I did read your posts and you didn’t mention childcare or circumstances 🤷🏻‍♀️
I went to neighbours and friends as that’s what I do. I leave my 11 yo alone for short spells and sometimes with a sibling. She has no phone nor internet access. (Too dangerous and unnecessary IMO.) but can text me.
I wouldn’t leave a 9 yo old regularly for my benefit, but each to their own.

Op could you get going on eg Joe wicks online yourself? The problem with kids is rarely the obvious- eg a fire or something, it’s more that eg someone calls to the door and they get worried or something like that (my friends daughter rang her when my friend had literally barely left saying someone was thumping on the door- it was the postman)

Give it a go. It’s the only way you’ll know if it’s workable for you and your daughter.

I think at 9, being given the independence of being left at home can be absolutely fine, or not. It really depends on the child, how sensible they are and how confident they feel about being home alone.

@Jk987 I've previously stated that there are no classes in my area that welcome children. This is not an option and anyone would research such things prior to this.
I wouldn't feel the benefit of home workouts, it's not something I would consider for me personally.
It's just us at home and no grandparents to help. My parents are not hands on and generally don't enjoy babysitting. Especially now they're older and not in the cute stage.

My child attends classes themselves three times a week and so I am limited in what I am able to do for myself around their activities.

Can you build up to it? Leave for 10-15 mins, then in a week's time 30 mins etc with you close by. Maybe start by doing a walk around the estate so you're getting fresh air but can be back very quickly. Does DC have a way to contact you?

I do remember being a child in the early 90's and sat outside a hall whilst my mum did an exercise class. Is that an option?

My ds' school cancelled ASC on Fridays when ds was just 10, so he was on his own from 3.15-5.45 every Friday.

He was perfectly happy, with a snack, a drink, a phone and strict instructions not to open the door to anyone, what to do in an emergency and to ring if he wasn't happy.

It wasn't ideal but we got through.

Absolutely not.

No I don't think this is a good idea op, too young.

@thesurreymum yes I think I would start doing this. They are with me every moment they're not in school, except for 4 hours a month when with their dad. It would probably do both of us good to build up some independence. I'll start by going for small walks around the block. They're 10 in Feb so could build it up to then.
My nearest gym to me doesn't allow children to be left unsupervised. As most don't in our area unfortunately.

Thank you for the kind advice and guidance offered on this post. I really appreciate you taking time to post and share real life experiences. I shall take your suggestions onboard.

Thank you.

I leave my sensible 10 year old for up to 20 mins when I nip to collect his brother. I am 5 mins away , he has phone access and strict rules about what he can do ( essentially sit gaming / watch tv/ read lego , go to the loo . No sharp knifes or answering the door.
I think I am fairly relaxed - my older one was left alone for an hour or 2 at 11, was allowed to go on the train at 12 independently .

I wouldn’t leave a 9 year old for an hour in the situation you describe . Sorry…