School's Over-reaction

[Badslithery]

My DD has a detention tonight simply because she asked to go to the bog during class. I'm more annoyed as we have plans for tonight and if she does the detention we'll have to rush around and will probably be late.

I'm wondering whether I should phone the school, would they let her miss it or do it next week or should I tell them I think they're over-reacting?

It seems unlikely that they would do that - I would approach if from a 'what's the whole story?' point of view, which makes it clear that you think it is too severe.

How old is dd?

Yes, can't you ring to say 'DD says this detention is for asking to go to the toilet in a lesson - now obviously she wouldn't have been given a detention just for that so I was wondering what the full story was?' That means they then have to justify their behaviour to you - if you ask them if you can rearrange, they still have the moral high ground iyswim.

Yes, might be a case of 'child spin' - teacher says no, you can't go to toilet, child sulks, swears, answers back (not saying your DD did do this).
DD might have just tutted or asked why and teacher over-reacted. Best to phone school and get the other side of the story I reckon. Or ask to negotiate detention for MOnday because of plans? I thought they had to give notice for detentions?

Apparantly she spoke out in class without putting her hand up and asked if she could go to the bog. The teacher told her off for a) shouting out and b) saying "bog".
Anyway DD said she was desperate so the teacher let her go and on the way down the coridoor she saw a friend at the other end who asked where she was going and DD shouted across the hall "I'm off to the bog". As she said this the head was walking upstairs with some visitors (parents of potential new pupils) and the head said it was embarrassing.
I know she shouldn't have shouted but I still think its an over-reaction.

Ideally I'd like to move her out of this school as I feel it is too strict and obsessed with "standards" but as the ex is paying the fees I can't really say anything.

Ah - well,

Well, I wouldn't have found her behaviour acceptable in my classroom (and in the corridor) either TBH. It was rude.

I'd be thankful of rules if I were you, nothing worse than parents condoning their children who don't stick to rules. Your child was shouting 'bog' down a corridor during lesson times, surely that's not something you like. Whether you agree or not your dc should think you support the school.

I would just ask the school to move the dentention to the lunch hour or another night.

Nope, she deserves it. She was being deliberately ride to the teacher and then shouting in a corridor in between lessons.

if one of my children yelled, i'm going to the bog, in front of visitors, at home, never mind in school, i;d be furious !

i think you are downplaying her rudeness

standards and boundaries are , actually, a good thing

your DD is firmly in the wrong, and you should be backing up the school IMO

rude

Sorry - hit enter instead of space

Sort of see why headmaster was annoyed. Shouting "bog" across the corridors of a posh school might be embarrassing to him when showing prospective fee-payers around.

Perhaps a quiet word with her as a 'warning' first?

that is rude behaviour - I think school are justified in applying a sanction and if detention is what they choose then you need to back them up.

Lulu - I'm in Maghull, we should meet up.

i'd like that , pinkjenny.. CAT me!

Blimey if my dd did that I'd be punishing her as well as the school detention !! Bad enough that she said BOG in the first place - but to shout it out twice at school !!!

I think it's you who has the problem not the school

School is not over-reacting. If I was looking round a fee-paying school as a potential parent and witnessed this I would be very indeed.

do people really say bog?

In my opinion, her behaviour was unacceptable and she should do the detention tonight.

I would explain to her that you're particularly disappointed that her behaviour is now inconveniencing you.

Ah - then I don't think the school is over-reacting in that case. I thought from your original post that she'd been put in detention for putting her hand up and asking to go to the toilet but it seems there was much more to it than that!

Tbh, I wouldn't try to move the detention either otherwise that's just supporting her poor behaviour.

Thanks for the replies. She has always said bog since she was about 4, it was easier for her to say when she had speech problems. I agree she should not have shouted out though.

possibly encourage her to say loo or toilet ?

How old is she now? Might be time to introduce some new vocab...