School's Over-reaction

[Badslithery]

My DD has a detention tonight simply because she asked to go to the bog during class. I'm more annoyed as we have plans for tonight and if she does the detention we'll have to rush around and will probably be late.

I'm wondering whether I should phone the school, would they let her miss it or do it next week or should I tell them I think they're over-reacting?

we used to call the loos bogs at school (summed them up really). i'm from down south too, maybe i'm just extremely vulgar.

"bog"

its rude
she should have detention
but there should be some notice
tell her to do detention tomorrow
and ground her for eternity

duh monday

Oh FFS are you all really this uptight? She didn;t say #I need a shit, did she?

she could have said something worse is a poor argument me thinks

its language that is frowned upon socially and the teenager was making use of the grey area. it clearly isn't swearing but it can be seen as unacceptable and was probably being used to facilitate roudiness in the class or bolster her own social standing as 'cocky'

my ds2 was supposed to serve an after school detention for needing to rush out of the clss with an upset tummy - immediately he returned to class even though in his absence his friends said he felt poorly he explained what had happened to the teacher she was very annoyed and gave him an after school detention.

I did on that occasion write a note explaining hed had an upset tummy and hed reacted and gone as uyickly as he could without maing a mess (tmi) fortunately the teacher accepted this and withdrew the detention but i think its a fine line with respect and common courtesy with regard to toilet situations i see they shouldnt be stopped from going but sometimes during a lesson its just inconvenient to the teacher ......

I think what your daughter did was rude and unfortunatly if people aren't made examples off - then the whole school would soon be doing it -

I don't think that it was an over reaction. Your dd acted in a rude way.

If the school doesn't draw a line at mildly bad behaviour the kids will push the boundaries further and further.

Dealing with large numbers of children isn't the same as dealing with one or two.

It is never to early in life to learn that there are times and places for different types of bahaviour.

I think it was an over reaction and agree if they use detentions for this what will they do for anything actually serious?
Don't think you should complain though as it's not going to traumatise your dd and more important that you are working with the school. I'm glad my son doesn't go there and wil shock everyone by saying I don't find 'bog' rude at all! (I'm also from the South btw). So glad my son's school isn't so petty...

Martianbishop - I agree a detention is an appropiate punishment - but how do teachers feel about after school detentions? As a parent, I would rather lunch time detentions.

I agree with custy that is all probability this was done for effect and to gain 'cred' with her mates.

By stopping this sort of thing, they significantly reduce the rate of more serious things.

As ever I [heart] casty. She knows what makes teenagers tick.

We have stopped after school DTs, as kids were using them to arse about/ would often refuse to attend. Now we give them lunch time DTs and they are picked up from the preceeding lesson, so they can't skive.

The DTs are done with Senior Managment, so they don't bugger about and they hate them

that's interesting.

I think bog is an awful word - I can just imagine a stroppy teenager yelling it down a corridor!

I'm not sure 100% that lunch time DTs work, but at least it is easier to get the little cherubs to attend

It may be an overreaction, but it is also possible you still don't have the full story. The teacher may well have had problems with her attitude before and feel that this is the last in a long line of disrespectful incidents. It may not just be the word; it is possible that the tone of voice was insolent. You just can't know.

Besides, you may use the word 'bog' at home, but surely at her age she ought to know the difference between lax language used in a family setting and the language you use to the teacher in a lesson? (unless she has learning difficulties in which case the school should allow for this).

My instinct would be to ask the teacher gently if she feels this was a one-off or if your dd has more general problems. Knowing this is more important to you than the inconvenience of one after school detention. If it was a one off, then let it go.

I don't think the school have over-reacted at all. She was rude initially in the classroom and then continued to be rude in the corridor (presumably to make some sort of point).

At my school we can't do lunchtime detentions as we have a split lunchtime (only half an hour for everybody) so I might be teaching yr 8 for example, whilst the Yr 10 pupil needing to do detention may be on lunchtime.

I think you should be supporting the school.

I have just read an earlier post, which I hadn't read first time I posted (or second time I posted )

That strictness and those standards that you mentioned... they're what you're paying for.

You cannot send your child to a "good" school and then complain when they clamp down on the slightest bit of bad behaviour. It's how they get to keep it a "good" school.

imo

If your dd had just a minute before got told off for saying "BOG"...then SHOUTS it in the hallway.....

The teacher in question probably heard and thought your dd was seriously being disrespectful...

I don't think "bog" is that awful, but the fact that she got told off for it, then 1 second later shouts it down the hallway...I think a punishment is in order, but I don't agree with after school either..

I would imagine that the detention was for disturbing her own lesson and the others as she yelled down the corridor and for embarrassing the head.

Detention sounds fine to me, and is what I would have given. As for lunchtime detentions - when would you like the teachers to eat, as we are normally the ones who have to take the detention?

lunchtime detention doesn't really sound like much of a punishment really.

It takes them away from socialising with their mates. they don't like it at all.