School's Over-reaction

[Badslithery]

My DD has a detention tonight simply because she asked to go to the bog during class. I'm more annoyed as we have plans for tonight and if she does the detention we'll have to rush around and will probably be late.

I'm wondering whether I should phone the school, would they let her miss it or do it next week or should I tell them I think they're over-reacting?

"possibly encourage her to say loo or toilet ? "

Snort! fgs - BOG! What is it with this Hyacinth Bucket stuff?

FGS. I wouldn't give a child a detention for saying "bog". I would give a detention for disrupting my lesson and disrupting other lessons by yelling in a corridor. If she genuinely just asked to go to the loo then it is an over reaction. However, from experience, I can see how it could easily be more.

Of course, a fancy pants school may well have more of an issue with the vocab than I...

This is a joke, surely?

I went to a rather posh school five years 'behind' my brother. In sixth form my English teacher was new, and had been at school with him. She, apparently, had been known as Bogbrush when she was a pupil....

I think 'Please Sir, might I be excused for shitting purposes?' would be more polite actually.

Is your daughter toilet trained? Could she honestly not hold on until the end of the lesson.

Unless she had her period come on, then she really should go to toilet at break.

The MLD state school I work for would give her lunch time detention or possibly an afternoon in internal isolation for being rude to the teacher. They don't do after school detentions because all the children come by taxi.

When a teacher gives a child an after school detention they are also having to give up their time. I am sure that even in private schools this is not done lightly.

PMSL at this thread.

It brings to mind the appalling debates over loo and toilet when Kate Middleton and Prince William "broke up." The verdict being that "common" people think that "loo" is coarse but the upper crust think that toilet is an appalling word belonging to the lower orders and that loo is far more acceptable.

Personally, as a gorblimey type myself, I grew up thinking loo was very low class, and was encouraged to use the word lav. I used to use the term "bog" trying to be cool, but have long since left the term behind due to a suspicion that it's actually rather posh.

What would she have got if she'd said "khazi" ?

Or thunderbox?

Shithouse . . .?

One of the reasons for giving an after school is because the pupil is often 'double-booked' at lunchtimes. The teacher may be busy too.

"Is your daughter toilet trained?!

That's a bit below the belt (no pun intended)

I would have found this unacceptable behaviour in the low in league, in special measures state school I taught at - shouting out in class, shouting down a corridor, etc. (so not just a private school "posh" issue at all) Not polite, and sounds like she wss being deliberately out of order. Punishment doesn't seem out of the norm BH. I think you should support the school.

Havign stricter rules and higher expectations is a good thing in schools IMO. If children have smaller, minor rules to break (uniform, calling out, etc) and see them being followed up with sanctions, it is less likely they wil push the boundaries with the major behavioural issues.

Your daughter got out of her seat without permission. She was rude to the teacher. Such behaviour would be punished at the school I work at.

Unless she has bladder difficulties or her period as come on suddenly she has no excuse for her behaviour. There is certainly no excuse for rudeness.

By the age of 11 she should have got the concept of going to the toilet at break and be capable of holding her wee until the end of the lesson.

I assume she is a precious first born.

She should be able to manage to go at break times, however the issue is that she was very rude and I don't think that the school was over reacting.

I related the contents this thread over the dinner table (just to put everybody off their meatballs ). Dd who is in Year 6 nearly fell off her chair at the suggestion that this might be a genuine innocent mistake. She certainly thought the OPs dd must have been doing this on purpose to provoke.

(Dd btw is incontinent and has special permission to go to the lavatory in lesson time. But if she asked for it in this manner, they would probably leave her to wet herself).

Presumably Badslithery wants dd to attend a good school. A good school is one that has discipline & kids don't run riot. Her DD has been rude and has been punished. That Badslithery has been inconvenienced is unfortunate and is something she ought to take up with dd, not the school.

OP didn't give the age of her DD but she must have been old enough to know that it was an inappropriate way to ask to go to the toilet. She was being deliberately provocative.

I think her dd is 11.

In that case she was being deliberately provocative.

They quite often start to'press to test' at that stage.

I did a practical with bunsen burners and the kids with long hair had to tie it back.

One girl did so, and then when I was dealing with another group of kids, took it out. She gave me some load of old toffee about it falling out, but my TA saw her do it.

So I gave her a good bloocking, and I dare say she whined to her mother that the nasrt tearcer was picking on her for having a hairband fall out.

My arse!

Oh and at the start of the lesson I pulled out some of my own hairs to show them how fast hair catches on fire!

They quite often start to'press to test' at that stage.

I did a practical with bunsen burners and the kids with long hair had to tie it back.

One girl did so, and then when I was dealing with another group of kids, took it out. She gave me some load of old toffee about it falling out, but my TA saw her do it.

So I gave her a good bloocking, and I dare say she whined to her mother that the nasrt tearcer was picking on her for having a hairband fall out.

My arse!

Oh and at the start of the lesson I pulled out some of my own hairs to show them how fast hair catches on fire!

I'm always amused at how these stories develop. When I read the OP, I though"How unfair, a child asked to go to the loo in class and was given a detention" Then I read on!

At the (state comprehensive) catholic girls school nearest to us they have 3-hour Saturday morning detentions. Offenders have to turn up at 9am on Saturday morning in full school uniform (mid-calf length kilts, white knee socks, blazer, blahdiblah).

I don't know what the procedure is if the Saturday detention clashes with the family's weekend plans, but the headteacher of said school is truly scary, so I doubt many parents would have the nerve to suggest that their social lives should outweigh the school's discipline system.

If a family refuses to let a child do a DT, the alternate option is three days exlusion, which goes on the child's permanent record.

Most reasonable families opt for the DT, but we do get the odd hard line 'My child is always right/how dare you objector'

Seeker, I am reminded of a MN who once posted that she slipped on the stair in school and the headmaster grabbed her arm and stopped her falling. She said that by the end of the day word had got round the school that the head had pushed her down the stairs!