My mother-in-law criticized my 6 year old daughter's behavior while sick and my husband sided with his mom

[SarahBuysChalk]

My mother-in-law visited while my 6 year old daughter and I have a cold. My mother-in-law is very critical but my husband always takes my side. My husband hasn't been sick since I met him. He has joked that his family don't get colds nor flus.

In the last day of her visit, my MIL confronted me. She said it's gross how my daughter acts when she's sick and that she clearly learned it from me. She gave a few examples. She said it's gross how my daughter and I often sneeze in cupped hands. How it's also gross than my daughter and I would sniffle instead of blowing our noses. And on and on.

My husband was there and it was out-of-character for him to let his mom go on like that on me. After his mom left, I asked him if he agreed with her. I was still sick mind you. He said my habits when I'm sick are kind of gross and that our daughter picked up my habits.

I want all hands on deck for opinions. This is the one time my husband sided with his mom against me so I am taking that criticism very seriously.

Ummm

Do you not have tissues or loo roll?

Sniffing is bloody awful, do you wash your hands after sneezing in to them?

Not sure what you want to hear? Sounds like your hygiene whilst unwell is poor, and that’s grim. So do better and teach your daughter to also?

Yes that sounds disgusting . Think of alll
those germs you are spreading

If I'm outside the home, yes. At home, sometimes. In a situation with this, I try not to touch other people but my husband and his family are very touchy feely people.

Surely most people sneeze into their hands or arm? There's no time to get a tissue often. You just wash your hands after.

Yeah sorry my DH sniffs constantly instead of blowing his nose and it drives me mental.

I completely agree with your DH and MIL.

Ew (sorry)

Incredibly rude of her. I hope that you told her so. She is of course free to avoid coming to your home if she finds you so disgusting. And you are of course free to avoid being in her company if you find her unpleasant.

Yuck

Get some tissues. This is disgusting.

My youngest is 6. He knows better

He agreed because she’s right
no quicker way to spread anything than sneezing in your hands and touching everything
sniffing is horrendous just blow your nose

both the above are beyond grim fair play for her speaking up

Looks like most of the comments are disagreeing with us. 😅

That's okay, I wanted honest opinions.

Sneeze into the crook of your racing away from people. It’s people who cough or sneeze on their hands then touch things that spread illnesses. I used to get constant viruses when travelling by train because of rank folk. Blow your nose and clean your hands!

Your MIL may have been rude to confront you in your own homes, but poor personal hygiene is grim - wash your hands. Your DH is totally right to agree with her

I mean, sneezing into hands should only happen if caught completely off guard by a sneeze and if I have a cold, I would always make sure I had tissues to hand so that's avoided. But more common for kids to get caught out I’d say, which is understandable and as long as they wash their hands straight after is ok.

I loathe sniffing though. It goes straight through me like nails down a chalkboard! If a tissue isn't to hand, then no choice but again, if I had a cold if make sure I had tissues to avoid this and if would constantly on my kids to blow their noses too.

People’s tolerance to sniffs and sneezes is lower than ever after COVID, and I find that snottiness grosses me out more than it used to. Having said that, I think your mother was rude to mention it, especially as she was visiting your home and not the other way around. Your DH should have told his mum to pipe down too, even if he agreed.

Sneezing into your hands is fine as a one off and if you wash them straight away. If you know you have a cold you should supply yourself with plenty of tissues so hands are not needed. Sniffing is horrible no matter what the situation.
But your MIL was rude to broach the subject in the way she did.

Sniffing is pretty awful for people around you and sneezing into your hands should always be immediately followed by washing your hands thoroughly. It’s pretty basic manners. Although I will add if you’re really that poorly, you shouldn’t be hosting guests anyway and so therefore your habits are only experienced by your nearest and dearest.

Sniffling is considered impolite so I agree there. Sneezing into cupped hands is the same - most will do this if caught off guard into our left hand (if right handed) and then immediately go wash.

Have to be honest - I HATE sniffers rather than blowers! But that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to insult you in your own home.

I think it's basic hygiene more than basic manners (or perhaps both equally!)

Saw your follow-up post. I would be very grossed out if someone didn't wash their hands straight after sneezing into them. Doesn’t matter if it's my husband or kids in our own home. Always needs a wash it hand sanitiser straight away. Basic manners but help stop the spread of germs.

OP what do you think is the chance that your husband put your MIL up to this, cos he didn't want to say it himself?
I'm just struggling with why he'd have put up with the grossness until now unless he was for some reason reluctant to bring it up

I would be a bit worried, spending time with you.
Get some tissues, fgs!!

I’m in total agreement with your MiL.