My mother-in-law criticized my 6 year old daughter's behavior while sick and my husband sided with his mom

[SarahBuysChalk]

My mother-in-law visited while my 6 year old daughter and I have a cold. My mother-in-law is very critical but my husband always takes my side. My husband hasn't been sick since I met him. He has joked that his family don't get colds nor flus.

In the last day of her visit, my MIL confronted me. She said it's gross how my daughter acts when she's sick and that she clearly learned it from me. She gave a few examples. She said it's gross how my daughter and I often sneeze in cupped hands. How it's also gross than my daughter and I would sniffle instead of blowing our noses. And on and on.

My husband was there and it was out-of-character for him to let his mom go on like that on me. After his mom left, I asked him if he agreed with her. I was still sick mind you. He said my habits when I'm sick are kind of gross and that our daughter picked up my habits.

I want all hands on deck for opinions. This is the one time my husband sided with his mom against me so I am taking that criticism very seriously.

I can't picture it. He usually hates how his mom criticizes people.

I have a friend who sneezes into his hands. It's revolting, because then everything he touches now has his cold germs.

If you you get a sudden sneeze, sneeze into the inside of your elbow, for goodness' sake, and teach your daughter the same.
As for sniffing, the sound of other people's snot is stomach turning.

I'm not one of the germ phobic clean queen mumsnetters, by the way. I'm pretty lax. But both those habits are horrible, particularly the sneezing into your hands 🤮

Sounds grim. You need to learn, then teach your dd how to manage having a cold in a safe and mannerly way.

You should use a tissue and then bin it. Don’t spread your germs around. That said, I dint think your MIL should criticise.

https://www.infectionpreventioncontrol.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/catch-bin-kill.pdf

I must admit, I'm a big baby I'm sick. If I'm in bed and I run out of tissues, I can't be bothered to get up for more.

But sneezing into your hand and sneezing into your arm are completely different! If you sneeze into your hands everything you touch is then subject to your germs!

You might be sick less often if you and your daughter improve your infection control (eg your husband and his mum don't get sick much... might not be unrelated to handwashing!)

Gross

I agree with her. Your habits sound extremely unhygienic to put it nicely.

I'll accept that. I foolishly thought it wasn't bad if I'm doing it in my own home.

I can't blow my nose, I've never been able to. I wouldn't go out of my way to noisily sniff around others but I don't see how it's any more gross than blowing your nose around other people.

I think your MIL was out of order to comment.
But .... I do think that there are better and more hygienic ways of dealing with a cold. Tissues are one of the greatest inventions of modern times ....

I do think that there should at least be some attempt to sneeze into a tissue.

That’s gross! Use a bloody tissue and wash your hands every time!

Dread to think about your toilet habits

You should be able to sniff all you want in the comfort of your own home. I have a cold now, my nose has been like a tap and is red raw and the skin is stinging from too much blowing today and that's with a good few sniffs instead of blows.
Maybe MIL should just stay away when you or your DD are ill.

My mother-in-law and my husband were born in the UK. Is the sneezing in hands and sniffling so impolite that locals would wonder that much how clean someone is if they did that ?

I'm sorry. Is your husband taking care of you ?

It’s not about impolite. It’s about not cleaning your hands after doing something dirty because you are in your own home, yet you know it’s inappropriate as you clean your hands when in public. So it stands to reason the same logic could apply to washing hands after using the toilet.

Not really, just a normal day for him. He does let me sniff as much as I like without shaming me though and I'll still get cuddles even though I'm all snotty.

Ask for a loo roll next time someone goes to the loo?

Your mil has been around you whilst you and your child sneeze into your hands and not wash them after, then presumably touch all sorts of things with germ ridden hands.
She might have been at the end of her tether and couldn't hold it in any longer out of anxiety.

I'll accept that. I foolishly thought it wasn't bad if I'm doing it in my own home.
@SarahBuysChalk

But you had a guest in your home.

This thread is making me feel sick

You sound vile