My mother-in-law criticized my 6 year old daughter's behavior while sick and my husband sided with his mom

[SarahBuysChalk]

My mother-in-law visited while my 6 year old daughter and I have a cold. My mother-in-law is very critical but my husband always takes my side. My husband hasn't been sick since I met him. He has joked that his family don't get colds nor flus.

In the last day of her visit, my MIL confronted me. She said it's gross how my daughter acts when she's sick and that she clearly learned it from me. She gave a few examples. She said it's gross how my daughter and I often sneeze in cupped hands. How it's also gross than my daughter and I would sniffle instead of blowing our noses. And on and on.

My husband was there and it was out-of-character for him to let his mom go on like that on me. After his mom left, I asked him if he agreed with her. I was still sick mind you. He said my habits when I'm sick are kind of gross and that our daughter picked up my habits.

I want all hands on deck for opinions. This is the one time my husband sided with his mom against me so I am taking that criticism very seriously.

Team MIL/DH here too, sorry OP.

My 2 year old gets himself a tissue if his nose is running and puts it in the bin once he’s done. Your hygiene avoidance is absolutely rank. Being a big baby isn’t as cute as you think it is.

What an odd question. She didn't say she had a husband! And she only has a cold. You don't need "taking care of" when you have a cold you just need to not wipe your snot everywhere 😂

Sneeze into your elbow, if you don’t have a tissue. After Covid, I thought everyone knew that.

That’s why tissues were invented!

Im side “it is gross”

Hope you feel better soon though.

Eww You are just spreading your germs around. That is so gross.

Yes OP if someone with a cold did this , I would question their personal hygiene ,and consider whether or not I wanted to be friends with them

My DH can't blow his nose either. I always thought he was having me on but you're proof he's not 😅 am I the only person who pinched their nose closed when they sneeze?

Sometimes a sneeze catches you unaware
but if you’re full of cold you need to go around armed with tissues so you can sneeze into them and blow into them. Easy

🤢

Yeh your hygiene is gross OP.
Sneezing into your hands will just spread the virus onto anything you touch. Better to sneeze into the crook of your elbow if you are really caught short without a tissue.

And sniffing is gross. Get a tissue.

If I were your MIL I would have left early. If I were your DH I’d regularly place a box of tissues next to you. I’d also tell you to wash your hands if you sneezed into them.
Your own parents didn’t tell you what to do when you have a cold, so your MIL has had to. Hopefully your DH can teach your DD.

Op isn’t washing her hands though every time only sometimes. Her DD is probably not washing either

Why would her DH (if she even has one) need to take care of her, she has a cold?

I agree with your MIL, probably wasn’t her place to point it out but that doesn’t mean she’s wrong. If your DD has picked up your filthy habits you’ll both be walking round spreading germs in the home. Start washing your hands every time and get more tissue

Sniffing and not washing your hands after sneezing in them is disgusting 🤢

You sneeze into your hands and then don’t wash them? Eurghhhh! Presumably, you then touch door handles, cooking utensils etc etc. That’s grim!
At my school, we teach the children to sneeze as high up their arm as possible and definitely wash their hands if they forget and sneeze into them or into a tissue. The tissue goes straight in the bin. I can’t believe you’re not teaching your daughter better hygiene habits.

Horrible young MIL is right

Yes I’m afraid so. But none of this excuses your MIL’s behaviour.

Would your mil have preferred if your daughter had sneezed in her face?

Sniffing is quite gross to be honest, but when you have a sneeze and you can’t grab a tissue on time then it’s okay to sneeze in your hands, just wash your hands after, and don’t touch anything.

I really hate sniffing. I have offered strangers a tissue to try and stop it (eg sat next to them in a plane). It’s really really irritating. And I’d certainly tell kids/DH to stop and have done.

The sneezing thing is gross. When we (rarely) have a bad cold, I have boxes or tissue or a loo roll. It’s not difficult.

Team MIL.

so this must really bother him then. He sounds like an extremely non confrontational person if he’s not managed to bring this up before.

I would change your habits pronto. And actually although she undoubtedly went about it in a way that is conventionally seen as rude by British people, she has actually done your daughter a favour- you HAVE been teaching her bad manners and if you address it now she may avoid being seen as gross by others who might never tell her how they really feel about it.

Have you never heard, "coughs & sneezes spread diseases"?

When you get a cold you should stock up om enough tissues to see you through, always put them immediately in the bin once used. Keep a bin by the bed.

Wash hands with soap after touching your face (including sneezing & blowing nose), or at least use hand sinister if you're nowhere near a sink & soap. Make sure you dry them properly.

Air the house daily, even opening a window for an hour in winter will help circulate clean air.
And don't sniff, it's horrid and won't help you get better.

Yes I would really question your hygiene and not a chance I’d eat anything you cooked. It’s grim.

You do seem to be making a bit of a performance coughing and sneezing. This does sound a bit irritating for other folk.