Young / average / old motherhood

[Lacatrina]

What would you consider is young to have a child, average to have a child and old to have a child.

Genuinely just interested. I would say 31 and under is quite young. 32-38 very average. 39+ starting to get into older category. But I'm SW London so aware these figures are totally unrepresentative of the whole picture

Had mine at 30, 33 and 36 and felt quite young in my NCT group for the first and quite old at 36 with my third! But not sure how much quicker I could have fitted her in!

If I had my time again I would have had my first around 27 and been done at 33..I didn't achieve much career wise in those extra three years and was quite bored with London life, going out etc. I met my husband at 19 though so we'd already been together a long time and were settled etc

Fair enough. It’s certainly a fascinating trend.

Absolutely! It's like the emperor's new clothes ! Keep saying it and eventually it becomes fact ! 🙄

Young - 20
Old - 40+

Well that's ridiculous though isn't it!

Literally ridiculous.

25+ used to be "geriatric" and biology hasn't changed. It's just people get offended and brainwash themselves (and others ) that career is more important than motherhood and then want to feel like a "young mum" at 30+ 🙄. Your life choices are your life choices , but nobody can expect to alter reality to make themselves feel validated in those choices.

I feel like we are reading different threads? Old and young in this scenario are based on people’s perceptions and relative experiences. I don’t think people are asking about optimum age for a baby, or optimum biological time, just what they think old and young means relative to their own experience.

If I worked with 20yr olds and a new member of staff came in who was 35, I would think of them relatively older. But, I don’t think of 35 as old.

Where I live, my friends, my social circles, parents at my school and nursery make up my perception. Based on this I would say having a baby under 30 is relatively young as I don’t personally know anyone who has (but I know people have babies under 30). I would also class women over 45 to be older mothers. Again, this is based solely on my experiences and I know elsewhere people have different definitions of old and young as you can see on here.

Exactly. I honestly believe it's to justify their choices of delaying motherhood and making everyone else repeat the lie to make themselves feel better.

I'm late 30s and I couldn't imagine getting pregnant at this age now, let alone it being a first pregnancy!! I think it's fine if people wish to wait for whatever reasons , it doesn't matter to anyone else, but own it!! If you're in your mid 30s+ you are an older mum. Even 30+ is an older first time mum.

I know a lady that had a baby boy at 15. She had a baby girl when she was 43. 28yr age gap!!!!!! They were technically brother and sister but not in any meaningful sense. Unfortunately the girl had severe autism and will never live independently. It'd be really interesting to hear her perspective of how motherhood was different at those extreme ends of the scale.

I don't think it's cut and dried, I think the definition of old and young is separate to the medical definition of a geriatric pregnancy / elderly gravida / whatever it's called.

At 19 I was ridiculously, unbelievably young to be having a baby because I was at university. Had I stayed in the town I grew up in, I'd have been young but not unheard of. In the social circle I'm in now I could announce I'm pregnant at 31 and they'd say oh wow, you're still so young! Whereas for me, I'm totally done having kids and feel really old.

I don't think anyone needs to justify having a baby at any age, and I think the only space where terms like elderly / geriatric pregnancy carry any meaning at all is in conversation with the woman's doctor or midwife. Otherwise, it's totally socially dependent.

Exactly this have a kid whenever you like but saying your a young mum in your 30s is ridiculous

South east. I'd say up-to 25 is young, 26-29 youngish, 30-35 middle and 35 over older. However it's skewed towards older ie more older than younger mums in my kids class.

For dads my husband is one of the younger dad because he was early 30s when we had our kid.

I think any age is to old to wear a thong bikini 🤢

Not really its all relative - compared to where you live. If you have a kid at 31 here and look on the younger side you are a young mum.

The way you look has nothing to do with age. Your age is your age.

Why the hate? She didnt say what you've written here.

Still in some areas 31 is a young mum; in others it isnt.

I know, it’s strange that it only seems to be this poster who is getting triggered by people’s opinions here. People are allowed to think differently and obviously perceptions change as trends change, nobody is right or wrong on what age they themselves feel is older or younger.

you do you ….. I confidently wear it well . ❤️

I assume they’re taking it as an insult to be thought of as a ‘younger mother’…

Yes. I don't quite understand why you'd want to be seen as a "young mum" if you're not. No-one is saying women after 30 or 35 or whatever are legally barred from reproducing. It's just factually correct that at a certain point there come additional medical considerations - even simple things like my knees aren't what they used to be and rocking the baby is difficult!

I was 41. But in a part of SW London where that was not unusual.

By the time I adopted my second I was 46 and very much the granny of the playground. I got very friendly with another mum who was 19 - 15 when her child were born. We were like Little and Large.

I see under 21 as young and over 38 as older.

Its not about feeling confident wearing it, its about sitting places in it before others do. I don't want to sit on a seat your bum crack has been on. There awful things

Stupid, childish post.

What? You like thong bikinis and dont think their unhygienic

Totally depends on the demographic. I had my first at 32 in a northern town. At the free 'sure start' type community centre baby groups i was one of the probably 10 years older than the average age of the other mums. At any expensive "paid for" groups like baby sensory, music makers etc I was one of the youngest and 5-10 years younger than most attendees 🤷‍♀️ I feel fairly average now with two primary school age kids at 40.