Young / average / old motherhood

[Lacatrina]

What would you consider is young to have a child, average to have a child and old to have a child.

Genuinely just interested. I would say 31 and under is quite young. 32-38 very average. 39+ starting to get into older category. But I'm SW London so aware these figures are totally unrepresentative of the whole picture

I’d say under 25 is young. 25-37 average and after that is older.

I don't feel aggreived. I just don't agree with your comment there is a difference. 36 is not old.

Of course it’s different biologically, I said that in my post! Peak fertility is 20-23 so anything older than that is ‘older’ if we’re speaking purely from a fertility standpoint.

The discussion is around what is ‘considered’ young/average/older in one’s area or social circle. And as I said, where I live, 32 is definitely considered young. Moreover, there’s very little social distinction between late 20s and early to mid 30s. I heard someone describe it as “your 30s are your 20s with money” which perfectly sums up the situation in my city among middle class professionals.

Under 25 young.
26-35 average
over 36 older.

I am on South coast.

Younger under 25
Average 25-35
Older 35+

Ahhh. Got you. It's a one of those "we're elite and middle class. There's a social rule that we have children 34-39 and that's so young and so normal. We're not like those lower class chavs"

You keep believing it. It's bullshit. I've a career with a degree and I had children 27 & 28 and I don't consider that "young" it's very average. Go back 30 years ago and it was "older" and biologically it is a little older. That won't change.

Young under 28
Average 28 to 38
Getting on a bit 38 to 40
Old over 40

Raised in the south now live in the North.

I agree with this massively. For me my 30s has been the oppourtunity to do all the things I couldn't do in my 20s but with cash.

I am now ready to have a baby at the ancient age of 36 according to @CrispsPlease 🤣

But seriously its really very standard abd not old at all to have your first at 35+ particuarly when working in a professional environment.

I'd say 23 and below is young. 24-34 average. 35+ old. I'm in the NW.

It’s nothing to do with being elitist or judging those who have children younger. People are just answering the OP’s question. I’ve described the situation in my city (major US city) among my social circle (university-educated professionals). That’s all. 🤷‍♀️

I'm sw London too and was called a young mum with my youngest - I was 24 when I had my eldest! 26 with my youngest and sw London hospital midwife said I was very young 😂
Most the parents at the one meeting about baby stuff with my youngest were definitely 35+, same as all the waiting rooms I was definitely one of the youngest.

Biologically I think we know what's a young mum, good age and old - there's medical papers on this. Risks when older and disabilities risk etc.

Personally I think 35 or older is nice because people have their shit more together and I'd hope women by then don't tolerate idiot men and reproduce with less idiotic men.

I say that having had children with an idiotic man but the Lord took care of that for me. At first I was upset, but now looking back in my grand old not tolerate shit age, I am quietly relieved that his life was cut tragically short.

I would say under 20 young, 20 -30 average. 30 + old

Also south Wales, also would agree with this.

For me personally, 35 is too old - but I'll have a 16 year old at that point; I wouldn't bat an eyelid at any of my friends having kids then or later.

I agree with this ^

You edited your post to add in the biological bit after I’d posted/we cross posted. It was not there when I quoted you

I heard someone describe it as “your 30s are your 20s with money” which perfectly sums up the situation in my city among middle class professionals.

Those middle class professionals may find they leave it too late and no amount of money will get them back their fertility.

21 and under - young mum
22-34 - average age mum
35+ - older mum

Early 20s
Early 30s
40s

Socially yeah, but actually biologically it’s older and risks running out of time if you encounter fertility problems and want more than one child.

To be fair, most of them are not too bothered about kids - on the fence at best. Certainly not bothered enough to sacrifice their early to mid 30s.

Or you could present this in a kinder way and don’t delude yourself that it’s ok to refer to people at 40 as very old? 🤔

Who cares? Threads like this are just an excuse to get posters snarking at each other about when they had kids and their respective ages/socioeconomic/class backgrounds. Snooze.

I think people tend to wait longer now and have smaller families.

I had my two young (19&21) and although I was in a pretty good relationship/ stable household- we were always poor , that’s the only thing I would really change.

I see my 18 year old now and can’t imagine her being a parent- in fact I would be pretty sad for her.

I know that I had been with my now husband for a few years when we had her and we bought a house when I was pregnant- but in comparison my daughter seems so bloody young!

Although I’m sure I seemed very young to others as well

I see other people who were in my year at school just starting families and it seems mad ! I couldn’t do the no sleep bit now- far too old 🤣

Do you really refer to yourself as a "girl" at 36 years old?

I agree. I’m 35 and going through IVF (not age related, we knew we’d have issues no matter how young we TTC) and most of my friends of a similar age have young children or babies or are trying to start their families now. My closest friends with children had their first at 35, 38, and 34 respectively. If I had to boil it down to these simple categories I’d say 20s and below is on the young side, 30-40 average and over 40 is on the older side (but that said, my Grandmothers were 41 and 44 when they had their lasts 🤷🏻‍♀️).