Young / average / old motherhood

[Lacatrina]

What would you consider is young to have a child, average to have a child and old to have a child.

Genuinely just interested. I would say 31 and under is quite young. 32-38 very average. 39+ starting to get into older category. But I'm SW London so aware these figures are totally unrepresentative of the whole picture

Under 20 too young
Under 25 young
25-35 medium
35-40 pushing it
40+ too old

Great, the OP was asking people our opinions, and that was mine.

I fully get that. But statistics never show the whole picture do they. Anyone with even a GCSE knows that.

And it doesnt alter the fundamental point - that anyone intelligent/educated is capable of understanding the biologically optimal time to start a family. I find the ostrich like tendency to ignore that really interesting

I was 32 when my first child was born and everyone I knew (London professionals) acted like I was a teen mum or something. It was very weird!

Good luck on your journey 💗

Id say below 25 is young and above 35 is old. I know lots more people are having babies later than 35 but I'd still view that as being an older mum, even if it is common now.

Anything 35 and above is a geriatric pregnancy which is why its shocking the people on here deluding themselves thinking 35 is a young mum

Having a child is about meeting a man you would want to have one with.

Does not mean it will work out as you can testify on here from myriad posts.

Solo mum myself. best way!

Trouble is, we have all been brought up on Fairy Tales. "And they lived happily ever after".

Life is not like that.

But stating its unheard of for women to have children before 30 isn't an opinion if you had said in your circle of friends its unheard of that would of been different but you didn't

I’d advise finding something more productive to do with your Saturday evening than having a go at someone because you dislike the phrasing of a comment online.

Im not having a go at you im saying, saying women under 30 having babies is unheard of is factually incorrect and instead of you correcting yourself and saying you meant in your circle your twisting it to make out im having a go at you

Yes, this is medically true.

We all understand why the average age is increasing but the biology isn’t changing in line with our societal pressures x

Young: <25
Average: 25-35
Old: 35+

Under 22 is young.

Over 33 old I think

I had all mine before 30 and I am glad as my bodies gone downhill!

Echoing others with similar ideas ( I'm also in S. Wales). Young for first child is under 25, average 25-35, older is 35+

Had my first at 37 and was pregnant within a month of trying; I was fit and healthy thankfully and the women in my family generally get pregnant quickly after trying for a child.

It really depends on the individual, but I think if someone doesn’t have a solid career it’s young (say pre-30), and if they don’t have enough energy for babies and toddlers then it’s older (say post-50). I agree with what others have said, it really depends on the mother in question.

I think of <20 is young, 21-40 is normal and 41< as old for motherhood.

Having said that, I had ds at 45 and didn't find it an issue. At 62 I'm now driving around the countryside looking at universities. So far, no-one has bat an eyelid.

I was once having my haircut in the Black Country, and told my hairdresser that my sister was having her first baby at 27. The stylist said, with shock, ‘did she mean to leave it til she was so old to have her first?’ 🤣

Biology hasn't changed but fitness has.

My dm at 40 walked a mile or two a day in court shoes and that was about all.

At 40, I was running 2 x 10k a week, cycling and swimming. I was competing at county level. I was much fitter and carrying a lot less weight. I also ate much more healthily.

Dm conceived naturally at 41 and 43. I conceived naturally at 44. All healthy, full term babies We seem to have good genes.

That’s true Meadowfinch, although we are generally fatter, and more likely to be obese.

Being fit has to be beneficial for those conceiving at an older age. However, I don’t know that being “gym fit” would improve the condition of a woman’s eggs as she ages?

It obviously depends.

I’m in S. Wales and I do disagree with the other posters saying 35 is old! I’ve had one at 29, one at 42 and considering another at 45. I know plenty of mothers my age.

I think people were discussing the viewpoints in their area / social circle and not talking biologically. Peak fertility is 20-23, so anyone older than that is ‘older’, from a biological standpoint. It’s not about anyone burying their head in the sand, we’re just answering the OP’s question based on our lived experience. Why is that so controversial and why has it ruffled so many feathers? I’m in a profession where people typically qualify at 25-27, so like PP’s experience, it is literally unheard of for a woman to have a baby before 30. I can’t think of a single instance across my career where that has happened. Likewise no one bats an eyelid in my city at new mothers in their 40s - it is completely normal. Another notable observation is that the proportion of child-free couples is higher than the national average. None of this is making a value judgement on those who have a baby before 30, it is offering a viewpoint, which the OP asked for.

Hi Crisps please, I am 46 and had my first at 37 and my second at 41 , I too look much younger than my age but I feel young , some on Mums Net think 30 is old , I’m sure they’d think mutton dressed as lamb as I pack my denim cut offs and thong bikini for my holiday ! I wish you the very best with starting your family. Those who stay young in mind fare much better in the long run . ❤️

I was told by my midwife when I was 36 that 36 was almost like a teenage pregnancy in our area and she had a number of patients in their 50s. I think that’s probably fairly unusual though!

It's not "ruffled feathers". I think people just find the cognitive dissonance fascinating.