What do you do all day to stop yourself going crazy???

[rosyrabbit]

DD is 10months old. I have never been to any baby groups. But I am going to make an effort to start going.

I feel that we are stuck in the house all the time and I feel fed up. I think dd does too.

How often do you go to baby groups? What else do you do all day?

I feel very lonely at home all day so need to get out and make friends, as I have no other friends that have babies.

Also how often do you have time away from your dc's?

I go baby clubs, swimming, I'm an avon lady which makes me go out everyday.
Go to the park, we went to a working farm the other day which DD (5 months) enjoyed.

I had time away from DD for the first time since she was born last thursday.

I go to mums and tots once a week but we go out every day - even if it's only for a walk for half an hour it keeps me sane.

Time away from her....umm not that often, I'm still breastfeeding, but her dad takes her out now and then for a few hours a week and that's nice too.

If I go out it's usually with my mum or dh. Mine are 2 and 3. I've been to a toddler group a couple of times, and I sometimes take them swimming.
Last weekend we went to a wedding and my parents looked after the kids.
Do you have any family close by rosy?

with ds probably went out most days to some sort of playgroup or met up with other mums from playgroup. We did art club, baby massage, music and movement, drop in playgroups, swimming, city farm - God it was gruelling. Didn't mind staying in with him, but I think it's good to get out, those walls close in on you if you don't. Don't do so much with dd, (artclub and music and movement) but have already got a network of mum friends now and we go to each other's houses etc for tea. You'll feel so much better if you go and meet other mums and might make some great friends and have some fun together (days out etc). It can be a lonely and isolating time, but you have to get out there.

DS is now 18 months and have only ever had a few hours apart as family not around here. We go mad occasionally but go to toddler groups 1 or 2 mornings a week (some good ones at churches/church halls even if you're not religious or a church-goer). Also we go swimming. I have to go out somewhere every morning and every afternoon or I'd go bonkers. Usually I just stick him in the buggy and go for a good walk - at least it gets us out. Now he's walking though it's all a bit more interesting.

Baby group once a week - nursery rhymes. You can do others - library usually does a group, music makers/etc.
Swimming lessons once a week - lessons are more for me than DD, so we get to see the same faces each week, same time so gives routine, paid for in advance so means I have to go! I did Water Babies, then since 18 months, the local pool does tadpole lessons, same price as it would normally cost for a swim, just in advance - £45 or something like that.
Park - good for being around other children/mums/dads, does not involve money, does not have to be for long.
Books
Songs/dances at home
Visit friends, either with children or without (if not working)
Nursery - once per week.
DO you drive? I go to the beach for walks/woods for walks
Shopping
Hoovering - she has her own dyson!
Washing up - whilst I do this, DD had a bowl of water on table and some wooden spoons etc - as she started walking and standing confidently, I put water in sink.

Oh and I get time away from DD when I go to work!

oh it really gets a lot better when they are walking etc

but go to toddler groups

find one YOU like and stick with it

I have got family nearby but no one with young children, also dd is very clingly and abit of a handful so don't really like to leave her too often with family..

Also she will only stay in the pram for 1/2 hour at a time before crying and if I stop the pram for more than 2mins she will start crying...

But I do enjoy walking with the pram, I think I will start getting her used to the pram more that its summer, but sometimes I just cannot be bothered to make the effort..

forgot to say, no time apart from dd, perhaps an hour here or there at weekend. ds is at school.

yes I do drive but live in london so no beaches nearby...

While I was on maternity leave I eventually found something to do every afternoon except half term but it took a while - several baby groups, a free swimming thing and paid for swimming lessons (for a couple of months we managed to go twice a week), musical tots (free session at children's centre, was going to take DS to one at local library but he was usually asleep at that time). Seeing my dad a couple of days a week.

I used the local park in summer even when ds was very small - he would lie happily on the grass while I had a takeaway drink from the cafe.

Our local kids playground has since been revamped and it's great for about 10 months up - he can't use all the things but there's a few which offer him scope for practicing climbing, standing etc and there's a lot more space for him to explore than there is at home. We get to meet other parents and babies too and I've seen a few of the people I met in ds's early days there.

You could also contact your local NCT (National Childbirth Trust) - the social gatherings are often open to non-members as well and you can see if it seems worth the subscription to you, or if there's aspects of activities that you'd like to get involved in - the newsletter or nearly new sales or organising get togethers with other new mums.

Rosyrabbit - big hugs - I was shocked also about how lonely it was.

you've got to get out and about.
And talk to people.. really it's the only way - I'm naturally quite shy, but as a mummy on the path looking for some/ any/ adult company I made LOTS of really lovely mummy friends who were in the same boat as me.

It's also helpful to make a timetable of things to do each day? Painting, and other crafts, and singing NCT and swimming classes etc as some other seasoned posters have suggested.

And get out to meet people in parks and playgroups at least once a day, rain or shine.

Don't forget your old friends also - most of mine have no relationships or babies so I HAD to make new friends or sink - but I still love to meet up with my old gal pals when we can.

I am a member of NCT but have not yet managed to make it to any of the morning groups as my closest one is early. But I am going to make an effort to go to as many as possible over the next few weeks to see if they improve my mood..

I think I will have to make a timetable for myself or I wont bother going.

I am usually quite confident but have recently felt I am loosing my confidence, thats why I feel I need to get out there and meet people in the same situaion as me...

Good on you LuckySalem - I remember the first time I left my DD - all the gal pals I met wanted to talk about my DD and my breast milk started flowing - I was sitting there having coffee with my hands clasped over my chest hoping no-one noticed these two HUGE wet blobs spreading over my top ( I hadn't used pads!!!) Hilarious!

Yeah you are a better mummy if you have re-integrated rosyrabbit -
being a mum is all very well,... but... you do need to get aout and about and get ready to have a different way of being.

it can be hard at first but it's really necessary to just go on and start to chat with other mummies.
Remember they are all in the same boat as you! Just as sleep deprived and anxious.

Cabin fever can be very bad for mummy and baby also. I felt I was coming back from the mummy trenches /war! and just about able to keep my head above water most days, but you'll get there.. you just have to keep plugging away, day by day.

Hugs!

Thanks alot zazen, I think you are right I need to get out there more, I feel like a real sado with nofriends as all my old friends are still young, free and babieless... I'm sure things will get better when I make friends with some other mums...

Nothing...I went crazy.

Thanks alot to everyone for your replys, it is always good to know other mums are nearby for advice and support whenever needed..

Yes it is difficult when you're gal pals are doing the sex in the city thing and there you are with cabin fever and HERSELF... arrrggghhh - pure'd this and puree'd that!!

But 11 months is prob the worst as Babs is aware that she's immobile and frustration is high!
Swimming one day a week is good - I used to bring in the buggy into the changing rooms so I could strap DD in and rinse the shampoo out of my hair - I gave her a snack to keep her happy and she slept like a lord 9or lady) that night - as did I.

It's good to plan something for every day so that you have a bit of structure and don't feel the walls coning in on top of you.
Chin up - it gets easier - it really does!

rosyrabbit, you need to have stuff planned. Get out of the house most days, but leave some days for just lounging around.
Try baby groups (meet other mums to chat to), swimming, library, shopping, park.
Mine are older now (nearly 6 and 4) but I remember my worst days being the ones where we were all stuck in the house, bored.
Do you have friends you could meet for coffee once a week?I have so much planned now the weeks just fly by and a day doing nothing feels like a luxury.

sorry that should be 'coming' in on top of you!
there's more to life than being 'just DD's Mum'

But getting your Mojo back is a long and windy road, and SO worth it!

Hugs

where in london are you? museums can be lifesavers with a small baby - free, nice things to look at, good baby changing and a place to have a cup of tea when she falls asleep. I practically lived in Tate Modern when ds was that age. He loved looking at paintings too.

I did go swimming once at the local swimming baths at baby swimming time but there were no other babies there lol..

I know dd will be better behaved if she has the company of babies as she screams whenever she sees babies and wants to play..

Gosh I don't know how I would ever manage with 2, 1 is real hard work..

I'm in Dulwich, there are museums nearby and also just found surestart with lots of free groups or cheap ones atleast..