What do you do all day to stop yourself going crazy???

[rosyrabbit]

DD is 10months old. I have never been to any baby groups. But I am going to make an effort to start going.

I feel that we are stuck in the house all the time and I feel fed up. I think dd does too.

How often do you go to baby groups? What else do you do all day?

I feel very lonely at home all day so need to get out and make friends, as I have no other friends that have babies.

Also how often do you have time away from your dc's?

[PetitFilou1]

Swimming
Meeting up with NCT friends
Toddler group
Going for walk round the shops
Going to the park (get dd an all in one waterproof suit and she can crawl about if necessary!) and feed the ducks
Soft play areas often have a baby area (but very boring on your own)
Music group (like monkey music, jo jingles etc - there are hundreds in London)
Library - often they have baby music or storytime

I rarely have time away from my dcs unless it is when I am at work (which is why I work partly!) Am pregnant with dc3 so only doing two days but have done three days until recently.

[EffiePerine]

Def get out of the house every day if poss. London is pretty good for child-friendly stuff: local cafes and parks, also try the museums (both local and central) as they are usually v child friendly and have nice cafes (see a theme here?)

[tyaca]

helios and rosy, can i crash?? am in s w london with a three month old and going so stir fry i have even started thinking about going back to work

[RedFraggle]

Baby groups 2 x a week.
Food shoping one morning
See parents for the day on one day each week.
Work 2 days
Then weekend!
Also think about trips to the lcal park for a walk, your local library will probably have all sorts on. Ours does Bounce and Rhyme, story time etc. All free and a good excuse to meet other mums and just get out of the house. (pick up some books for your DD and yourself while you are there).

If you are having a bad day getting out for a bit will almost always help.
I have a rather small amount of time away from my DC. Currently, I do an evening class once a week for 2 hours and then I get maybe 2 hours at the weekend if I am lucky. That's it!

At the baby groups just accept that the first time you go you are there settling your child and then you won't worry if you don't pluck up the courage to speak to anyone. Then the the next week plant yourself near to where the mummies you liked the look of were sitting. They almost always have their "favourite area" then you just say "hello". I have been going to the same ones for about 2and a half years now and I keep a look out for the lost souls to say hello to. I'm sure there must be other mums like me...

[Thankyouandgoodnight]

Oh yes - the house stuff - maybe spend a week or two just clearing each room in the house until it's as you would ideally like to keep it and then can you and DH do a quick tidy up each evening to bring it back to that ready for the next day?

A cluttered house is very claustrophobic!

[Thankyouandgoodnight]

I conjour up 2 'jobs' per day that involve leaving the house - e.g. going to local book shop and letting her crawl on the floor / going to the supermarket to buy a lettuce. Are you in to cooking? You could shop each day for dinner that night to force you out. Also find any groups you can, try them all and then just go to the ones you like. It is hard and it is soul destroying but they love watching us doing stuff and going with us, so just a change of scene entertains them and the exercise and fresh air does you good too. Also - go on the bus somewhere....

[hellisotherpeople]

rosyrabbit, that sounds like the beginning of a plan! sorry about the delay in replying, duty quite literally calling. what do you reckon on somewhere like herne hill as a midway meeting point?

[rosyrabbit]

And when you are going to the baby groups, if you go most days do you find you still have time for cleaning and cooking?

I am finding that as I feel down at the mo housework gets ontop of me alot and sometimes the house is very untidy and unorganised.

Maybe if I am out more and having more fun I might feel more inspired to do more cleaning and cooking.. Or might be too tired to bothered..

[rosyrabbit]

Shitemum - i'm sure you are not that shite...

It must be very hard work with twi dd's, I hope things get better for you when dd2 starts nursery..

[rosyrabbit]

hellisotherpeople - maybe we could go to a group together.. Or meet somewherehalf way..

[S1ur]

Actually its mixed with more than one. They play a bit you see. And then they argue (not so good)

Anyway, surestart good, library, swimming, the occasional p&t, maybe some godawful gymboree thing...

mine were really just cafe babies when little enough not to care, I met friends in parks etc.

ALso, start doing stuff at home that you might need to do/enjoy and she can join in somehow. Gardening/washing floors/painting.

eg I am currently writing some stuff and dcs like to illustrate. in that I tell bits of story and they draw something random.

[Shitemum]

rosy - DDs are 4.7yo and 1.7yo. Have been a fulltime SAHM for about 2 years. Where I live there are no groups to join, at all, and we have no relatives in this country (Spain). Most of my friends work so are never able to meet up during the day and they do things with their families at the weekends - we don't because we have a retail business which is open 7 days a week and DP works there. DD1 is at nursery full-time, DD2 starts in September.
DD2 is taken out by a nanny twice a week for 3 hours. That's the only time I have to myself except the evenings.
It's a lot better now the DDs play together. I just find it really frustrating not being able to do anything I want to do in the house without interruption.

I would suggest you do your very best to find like-minded people with babies.

[hellisotherpeople]

i'm in clapham with a 10 month old and no friends with babies... maybe we could meet up!

[rosyrabbit]

shitemum - Are you still feeling crazy at home? How old is your dc??

[rosyrabbit]

I did go swimming once at the local swimming baths at baby swimming time but there were no other babies there lol..

I know dd will be better behaved if she has the company of babies as she screams whenever she sees babies and wants to play..

Gosh I don't know how I would ever manage with 2, 1 is real hard work..

I'm in Dulwich, there are museums nearby and also just found surestart with lots of free groups or cheap ones atleast..

[oranges]

where in london are you? museums can be lifesavers with a small baby - free, nice things to look at, good baby changing and a place to have a cup of tea when she falls asleep. I practically lived in Tate Modern when ds was that age. He loved looking at paintings too.

[zazen]

sorry that should be 'coming' in on top of you!
there's more to life than being 'just DD's Mum'

But getting your Mojo back is a long and windy road, and SO worth it!

Hugs

[LyraSilvertongue]

rosyrabbit, you need to have stuff planned. Get out of the house most days, but leave some days for just lounging around.
Try baby groups (meet other mums to chat to), swimming, library, shopping, park.
Mine are older now (nearly 6 and 4) but I remember my worst days being the ones where we were all stuck in the house, bored.
Do you have friends you could meet for coffee once a week?I have so much planned now the weeks just fly by and a day doing nothing feels like a luxury.

[zazen]

Yes it is difficult when you're gal pals are doing the sex in the city thing and there you are with cabin fever and HERSELF... arrrggghhh - pure'd this and puree'd that!!

But 11 months is prob the worst as Babs is aware that she's immobile and frustration is high!
Swimming one day a week is good - I used to bring in the buggy into the changing rooms so I could strap DD in and rinse the shampoo out of my hair - I gave her a snack to keep her happy and she slept like a lord 9or lady) that night - as did I.

It's good to plan something for every day so that you have a bit of structure and don't feel the walls coning in on top of you.
Chin up - it gets easier - it really does!

[rosyrabbit]

Thanks alot to everyone for your replys, it is always good to know other mums are nearby for advice and support whenever needed..

[Shitemum]

Nothing...I went crazy.

[rosyrabbit]

Thanks alot zazen, I think you are right I need to get out there more, I feel like a real sado with nofriends as all my old friends are still young, free and babieless... I'm sure things will get better when I make friends with some other mums...

[zazen]

Yeah you are a better mummy if you have re-integrated rosyrabbit -
being a mum is all very well,... but... you do need to get aout and about and get ready to have a different way of being.

it can be hard at first but it's really necessary to just go on and start to chat with other mummies.
Remember they are all in the same boat as you! Just as sleep deprived and anxious.

Cabin fever can be very bad for mummy and baby also. I felt I was coming back from the mummy trenches /war! and just about able to keep my head above water most days, but you'll get there.. you just have to keep plugging away, day by day.

Hugs!

[zazen]

Good on you LuckySalem - I remember the first time I left my DD - all the gal pals I met wanted to talk about my DD and my breast milk started flowing - I was sitting there having coffee with my hands clasped over my chest hoping no-one noticed these two HUGE wet blobs spreading over my top ( I hadn't used pads!!!) Hilarious!

[rosyrabbit]

I think I will have to make a timetable for myself or I wont bother going.

I am usually quite confident but have recently felt I am loosing my confidence, thats why I feel I need to get out there and meet people in the same situaion as me...