4 year old learning phonics and reading

[Tiredmumtoboy]

The school my son is in has sent him home with a book for him to read to us along with a book for us to track reading. They want us to get him to read 4 times a week and will track this with the reading report book.

I can't get my son to even sound any letters out. I say them and ask him to repeat and I get I don't know and it's to hard and I don't remember. He tuts and huffs at me when I ask him to try.

How the hell can I expect him to read to me if I can't even get him to sound letters out. He's a June baby and this school were also expecting our kids to be able to write their own names before they even started school.

I feel like this is all to much for him but also to much for me (As a dyslexic) I don't feel able to teach him to read or spell.

What do I do because I'm pretty stressed.

DS did read write inc and his school seems quite intense in terms of pace (although they split the children into groups of 6-8 across the year so their lessons are targeted which helps pace I think) and even he started reception he was given books without words and had to tell a story from the pictures and there would be questions in the back like how was Jonny feeling when the dog burst his ball...
We also had a parents phonics workshop once a term to see what they were doing and to support us to support them accurately and there were weekly qr codes to little phonics videos. We get the same for maths and just one a year for curriculum plus term plans sent home. (Standard state primary)
Can you ask if there will be anything similar?

Oh and before he could read we used to write what he'd done with his RWI books at home and also what we were reading to him every night in his reading record.
He's just started y2 and is reading chapter books like they're going out of fashion so the school knew what they were doing

First priority is for books to be fun so open a page and talk about the pictures then you read the words. So you say things like, I wonder why the girl looks upset.
Don’t start trying to teach him to read or doing flash cards in the little time you have together.
If he doesn’t already love books get some on subjects he likes and read to him everyday. You want him to want to be able to read himself.
I also used to plonk mine in front of alpha blocks which must help a bit.

As a teacher myself, I'm surprised that a reception aged child will have a reading book sent home yet. After Christmas is probably the earliest I'd expect to see one given out.

Chat to the teacher and clarify her expectations and let her know that you don't feel he's ready for one yet.

In reception last year my son’s school sent books home from October half term.
But perhaps it will be scheme dependent.

I remember it feeling frustrating for everyone to begin with. Then it suddenly started clicking.

One thing that massively helped was getting the oral blending sorted first and I would turn it into a game of blending. We would play it on the way to school. Eg.

Im thinking of an animal: C/a/t sounding out each letter phonetically for him to blend and correctly say the animal. Boosted confidence as well.

You could also practice individual sounds with flashcards and model the blending and sounding out.
There are videos online that will help you to make sure you make the correct ‘pure’ sounds.

stick to CVC words (consonant vowel consonant)

There’s a lengthy thread on here about how that’s a terrible idea and teachers practically begging parents not to do it as most parents didn’t learn to read with today’s phonics method so it requires a huge amount of unteaching.

Phonics and books doesn't have to be work. Do you read books at bed time? Things like Crow in the Snow, Racoon goes to the Moon and that series are simple, rhyming, repetitive but funny. Do five minutes one a weekend writing letters on the slabs in chalk and saying their names. Make up silly songs or recite the letter rhymes. Unfortunately you do need to put some time into the less fun stuff as they get older. Ours had spellings in Reception after the first term. Year 1 were asked to do maths homework, 15 minutes of numbers a week, 10 minutes of reading a day and spellings

Teach your monsters how to read is a great website/ app. It's free on laptops but you have to pay on tablets and phones.

I love Reading eggs and maths seeds. It's another app. They are currently doing a free 30 day trial. It's a bit expensive but they often do offers if you pay for the year. Reading eggs also has worksheets to print and complete.

The phonics books are pretty boring so it's good to mix it up with some apps. Let them feel like they are playing a game.

That’s what teachers are for. Parents can read to their babies and small children for enjoyment. I am a parent and a teacher.

I'm a retired teacher, parent and grandparent and I agree with you.

Talk about the pictures. Get him to turn the pages. Ask him if he knows any sounds. Read it to him. Just share the book together as you would any book.

No way would I expect the state system to provide an adequate education on its own. That’s just setting the bar really low.

I don’t blame the schools. Too many of them aim for mediocrity across the board and don’t get the best out of more capable children.

Please don't panic. Just read and discuss the stories. Every child is different. X

I don’t agree - I think the Y1 phonics test is putting pressure on teachers to teach phonics before children are developmentally ready. My “more able” child got 14 GCSEs at A or A and 4 A-levels at A or A in the state system, hardly mediocre. No private tuition was involved.

This is poor - I’m a teacher in KS2 and I know that EYFS need to write their name by the end of the year and our school haven’t started phonics yet. Usually week 3 when they’ve all settled and learned a few routines. They won’t take word books home yet either. Maybe just enjoy reading with him and pick a very few letters for him to sound - search phase 2 phonics. Even if he has started already, he’ll only be on sounds s a t then p i n

Read the book to him, pointing to the words as you do so.
Look at the pictures together and get him to suggest what the story might be about from the pictures.
See if he can identify any letters on the page - starting with the letters in his name might be a good idea eg Can you find a /s/ for Simon?
Above all don't get stressed and make it fun.
I have never agreed with schools sending any sort of homework home. Parents should be deciding for themselves how they spend their time with their own children, teachers should be doing the teaching. However it is a fact of life that schools like children to do homework.. It is best to enjoy the process if you can.

I went to primary school in the 1970s and we had one piece of homework, in Year 5. If the curriculum can’t be delivered in the school day, that’s a curriculum problem.

The Y1 phonics test is putting pressure on teachers because teachers have completely misunderstood what it is for. I am a dyslexia specialist and the Y1 test was supposed to pick up signs of dyslexia so that children could be given extra help if they needed it. It was not meant to test how well phonics was being taught in schools.
It has, by the way, completely messed up one aspect of dyslexia screening for older children. Finding it difficult to sound out nonsense words used to be one of the more easily recognised signs of dyslexia. Now all children are specifically taught to do this (which serves no useful purpose at all) the diagnostic tests designed to identify this aspect of dyslexia are almost completely useless.

We do read to our children. Alot. He loves books and reading and my husband and I read 2/3 books to him a night but I'm not expecting home work until year 5/6.

I'm also very dyslexic so I'm not even going to be able to help him when it gets more complex. Especially with spelling. There's no way I can assist with spelling tests ect.

I have extra help systems at work that's how dyslexic I am. And on my kindle the font is specifically designed for dyslexic reading.

here are my top tips.

1 - You read the book he points to the words - eventually you make 'errors' and he corrects you (read at the speed he points)

2- Put subtitles on your TV - allow him to watch what he likes

3- Know that most children learn to read in spite of school!

I agree - I’m also a dyslexia specialist. Phonics is starting in nursery now, when it used to be Reception.

Please don't worry. He's only recently 4! He just started school. Most schools start with just a few letters at a time and only move on once the majority of the class are getting it. A reading book at this stage is really a bit optimistic (to put it kindly) not to mention absolutely batshit (to be less kind).

You could try watching some of the Jolly Phonics songs on YouTube with him if you think he'd enjoy a song and some actions to do. All the songs are very short and feature the letter, the letter sound and an action to do at the same time. My daughter loved them. Not after school, sounds like he is home late and would be tired, but maybe at the weekend do five minutes each day if singing a song is something he would enjoy. Alphablocks is also a great idea. And repetition is key. Do three letters again and again until he knows them and move on the the next few after that. The first ones are often S A T P I N.

And talk to his teacher. She will absolutely not want him or you to be stressed out by this. Make sure she knows he doesn't yet know letter sounds and you won't be asking him to read until he is a bit more confident with them. Ask what you can do to best support learning the letter sounds.

Also he is probably really tired hence not engaging. He'll get used to the demands of the day and have more headspace at some point soon.

Do you know what the phases include? Phase 2 is 23 sounds, most of them single letters. Phase 2 is another 27. You'd expect most Reception children to already have a fairly good grasp of the alphabet just from existing in the world and recognising things like the letters of their names, so most of Phase 2 is just consolidating existing knowledge in a more structured way and beginning to understand how letters work together to make words. Phase 3 is more about memorising new graphemes that they might have never seen before school. Phase 4 is continuing to work with the sounds already learned in Phases 2 and 3- there's no new sounds.

Phase 5 takes most of Y1 and is where all the more tricky sounds, split digraphs, trigraphs and so on are introduced.

Schools need to get through Phase 5 before the end of Y1 in order for them to get through the phonics screening.

It's frustrating when a child won't even attempt something but someone has to persuade him to do it. It's highly likely he's doing the exact same thing at school, and it's important that he learns that you have to do things which are hard sometimes.

Try taking turns to read a word, keep sessions short and sweet (even one page is better than nothing) and put the emphasis on how proud you are of him for persevering.

Most importantly, regardless of whether you managed to get him to read to you, read to him as often and as widely as possible every day.

A lot of parents teach the alphabet (myself included before I trained as a teacher!) but this isn't particularly helpful as when they start school they learn phonics which is the correlation between the phonic sounds and written graphemes. Just read to your child and talk about the story to build comprehension as this is massively overlooked by a lot of parents. ie they can decode the text but don't necessarily understand what they are reading. As a real life example, I live in a country which has a different phonics system and alphabet. I can read text (very slowly!) as I have learned the phonic/grapheme correlation but I don't understand what it means, as I don't have enough understanding of the vocabulary. I hope that makes sense 🤣

I wouldn't be to suprise if my son was Dyslexic seen as I am and my husbands sister is but how is this phonics learning susposed to find out which kids are dyslexic and which kids aren't.

I wasn't diagnosed for years...