4 year old learning phonics and reading

[Tiredmumtoboy]

The school my son is in has sent him home with a book for him to read to us along with a book for us to track reading. They want us to get him to read 4 times a week and will track this with the reading report book.

I can't get my son to even sound any letters out. I say them and ask him to repeat and I get I don't know and it's to hard and I don't remember. He tuts and huffs at me when I ask him to try.

How the hell can I expect him to read to me if I can't even get him to sound letters out. He's a June baby and this school were also expecting our kids to be able to write their own names before they even started school.

I feel like this is all to much for him but also to much for me (As a dyslexic) I don't feel able to teach him to read or spell.

What do I do because I'm pretty stressed.

Which phonics scheme are the school using @Tiredmumtoboy ?

If you look it up or provide the name here, more relevant information can be provided. What support (phonics evening or similar) have you had from school.

Have you looked on the school website for more reading information?

My DS is now 13 and before he started school I hadn't done any phonics with him cos I just didn't get how the system worked with words you can't sound out phonetically, split sounds, special friends etc. I read to him loads though. Even after starting Reception I struggled with what to do with the phonics books he brought home because there was no guidance from the school. He still turned out to be a good reader though.

I work in a Reception class (TA) now and have actually taught phonics groups so understand it all much better! I would say try the phonics books when you can, even if that's just you picking out single, simple words like d-o-g and sounding them out together. Gradually he will get better. If he struggles then note that in the reading diary, and just move on to reading a story book to him. Maybe point out if the word 'dog' happens to come up in that book but don't put pressure on him to get it right. The teacher needs to know what level DC is at when he doesn't have the support of an experienced teacher so shouldn't mind seeing in the reading record that he has tried but struggled to read at home.

I work full time 8:30 till 5 every day. Same as my husband. When home we play.

They didn't even teach letter sounds at the Pre school he went to. Just maths.

How about starting with the initials of the whole family’s first names as well as mummy, daddy, nanny and grandad etc. Then when you’re out on a walk you can ask him to point to the letters on the street names.

We have a list of what they are doing curriculum wise and they've put autumn one phase 2 phonics

Autumn 2 phase 3 phonics...

That feels way to much at the beginning of school year...

It try not to get anxious about it. We've been reading to him since he could sit up. He loves books but refuses to learn anything.

He's the same with anything. I remember giving up trying with Maths like the pre school wanted because at home he just used to be like, I don't know, I can't remember, it's to hard.

This is his approach to everything we try at home unless it's play.

If he's just started Reception, they haven't even started teaching letter sounds yet, you and they, are expecting too much in asking him to decode the words. Read the book to him and enjoy talking about the pictures. Make sure he understands what it's about. Take the pressure off before he is put off reading for good.

At 4 years old ‘reading’ would be telling you a story from the pictures.
It’s unlikely many 4 yr olds would be able to read the words of a story to you.
Begin by reading the story to your child yourself and then have the story ‘read’ back to you using the pictures.
Don’t fret, just enjoy the time together with a book.

This sounds extreme. My son is 4 and started school last week. I was advised by the head teacher at his nursery not to worry about them being able to write as they teach it at school. She said it’s much easier to teach a child from scratch than to teach a child who has been taught to write in captial letters etc as they have to unravel it and start again. This was an ofstead rated independent nursery and they were faultless. She was also a reception teacher previously. I only wish they had a school attached. The main thing the school wanted was for him to recognise his name. He was born in September so is nearly 5. He is inquisitive, has loads of questions and wants to learn. I was worried I was holding him back however so far he’s going to school and learning. He can recognise words in books but doesn’t read himself. I would speak to the school. It sounds a bit much so soon.

Mine didn’t have proper reading books for a few months of f2. They bought books home with pictures only and the idea was they looked at the pictures to try and tell a tale. I would definitely chat to the teacher.
Also, learning through play is how little ones should learn. They are also shattered starting school and need a break when they come home. Any learning should be fun. There’s 2 books I had that had some great idea for easy learning games. It was something like “5 minute mum”. Hope you’re ok OP. It’s hard working and trying to juggle the kids. X

My son started reception last week and was sent home with a book and reading diary. In the diary it says for the child to read the book to you 4 times per week and there's lots of stuff to do with phonics (but it's a diary for the whole year that's the same for each school year). Then in the first week of the diary the teacher put a piece of paper in basically saying to read the book with your child and talk about what's happening in the pictures etc. I'm pretty sure the expectation would not be that he reads to you. Also I think when they want your child to start reading it's after they've started learning phonics and they get given a special phonics book?

Seems a bit intense. We aren’t getting anything until half term so they aren’t overwhelmed and consequently put off reading altogether. And even then there won’t be any words in the books- to start with they just get used to turning the pages and talking about the pictures.

Get some magnetic letters and spell simple words out using the phonics he should have learnt at breakfast on a metal board.

S a t

Push the letters together to blend.

Then move into rude words. Poo was a favorite.

If he likes playing I'd recommend Five Minute Mum. She has some books with lots of games in for little ones to learn though play, and she has an Instagram she's pretty active on. She used to be a TA working with children needing extra help.

Don’t worry about the words too much just ask him to try and guess what’s happening from the pictures and then you read the text to him pointing to the words as you go. At bedtime just read a book of their choice as normal so you instill that imagination and good vocab.
My youngest is dyslexic and repetitiveness was the key to her being able to read. It was a long slog- we started when she was 3 and she finally grasped it when she was about 6-7 but don’t give up- it is possible. When they start to learn the phonics sounds, make it fun but work on them every night even if it’s just to say them out loud or draw the letters in sand/flour. I see so many children struggle in secondary school because I they found this bit tricky and parents gave up reading because it was too hard. Good luck and keep going, it’s totally worth it. Mine has just started her English A-Level!

My daughter has been writing her name on her artwork since she was 2 it’s not a crazy expectation (unless they have a super long name obvs).

for the reading books were asked to read it to her and then discuss the book, including what she thinks the message of the story is, see if she recognises any letters, generally chat about the story. The expectation at this age isn’t for them to read to us, certainly not in the first week of reception.

Children shouldn’t have reading books sent home until they can blend the first sounds they’ve been taught. I’m assuming he’s just Ed in reception so it’s unlikely he can blend independently yet. Reading books at home should be a positive, joyful celebration so children should bring home books they can read. What phonics scheme does your school use (it should be on their website). Do speak to the teacher.

Please don't be stressed and don't force the issue with him about reading or writing give him supporting activities and things he likes doing. Reading readiness is complex and it doesn't happen with all children at the same time. Reception should be for fun whilst still teaching and working on the obvious formalities.

I'm a primary teacher.
You are correct.

Similar thing here. 4 year old (July baby) started school this week. Also been sent home with a book and reading diary. All we’ve been doing is reading the book to him. Asking him at the end if he can recall the story. Then we’ve asked what word he thinks comes next after a few times of reading it. Such as SNAP BANG CRASH. Then that’s what I’ve written in his diary. My understanding it’s just get them use to sitting down and reading this early on. Also a dyslexic mum who’s dyslexia heightens when reading out loud. But I’ve got to work on that to support him.

But in terms of Little Wandle, Read, Write INC. Etc. Which phonics scheme? Should be in the school website?

Did you go to a general phonics evening about supporting your child?

Read the book to your child encouraging him to point to the words as you say them, or help you turn the pages. Ask him questions about the pictures and what you have just read. Enjoy reading together. Write a very brief comment in the reading record about the above. Don't worry too much about it, most of the class can't read at the start of Reception and they havent taught all of the sounds yet anyway.

I didn't encourage my 4dc to read before they started school, there were plenty of other fun activities to do! They also only went to a preschool for a couple of mornings a week from the age of 2 and a half. In the end dd1 didn't start school until she was almost 7 entering in year 2 and dd2 started in year 1 (we had lived abroad). They suffered no detriment due to this becoming voracious readers and both are now Cambridge graduates with excellent careers. Dd3 had a more conventional entry into school and I think it was boring learning the same sounds again and again.

My son’s school only send home books children can read. Some children didn’t get a reading book until their summer term. Maybe he’s reading at school and not for you…

Just read the books and other books to him and talk about the stories. Look at letters around you in signs and adverts outside, shopping lists. car registrations etc. Help him to see the link between writing in the environment and the phonics he is learning at school e.g. " can you see a 's' on that lorry/shop front/car number plate?".