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Parenting

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Original poster

Anyone truly happy with two kids?

119 replies

dancethedancetoday · 05/08/2025 11:43

I don’t ask this to start a fight, I am genuinely curious and looking for a wide range of answers. Are people actually happy with two (or more) children? It seems like it’s the ‘gold standard’ that people want…but I just don’t see many people thriving with it. I was at the stage of considering a second, but honestly I am swaying towards no (however I think I always was) No one I know is really selling it! Of the 10 or so two-child families I’m close to, one seems genuinely happy, they’ve got a 5-year age gap, the kids get on well, are lovely and they seem very content. But the others are exhausted, and frankly, a bit miserable, they moan about everything:

never having time to themselves
kids constantly ill or fighting
finances stretched
being glorified taxi drivers
never having a babysitter for more than one
holidays being more expensive or hard to do/impossible
no money because of childcare costs etc
never getting time as a couple or individuals (and marriages failing etc)
not getting on with the children or the children not getting on with each-other.
never having fun because they’re always having to have strict routines etc.

The reason I am putting this to MN now is because two mums (in separate chats) recently said to me that they wish they had stuck with one! My DP is really put off by it all and keeps saying we’ve hit the nail on the head with family life! We’ve got one (primary age) and life feels good: we rarely, if ever, complain about any of the above.

So… is anyone genuinely happy with two? And if so, why? I’d love to hear a different perspective and again, I really do not put this out there to offend!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Waitingfordoggo · 05/08/2025 13:26

I’m genuinely happy with two, yes.

For me, one wouldn’t have been enough and three would have been too many so yes, two is perfect. They are great pals and have been since they were tiny.

Lots of things work well for a family of four- cars, hotel rooms etc. Not that this in itself is a reason to have two, but it has made life easy for us at times.

DinaofCloud9 · 05/08/2025 13:27

I've never regretted having two.

Mine are grown up now and good friends. I love it.

OhDorWheresthesalad · 05/08/2025 13:33

Coming to say same as Rewis - much of that is applicable to having one. I do only have one, very happily, but parenting can be hard whatever your configuration. Mine was constantly ill, she's got additional needs so babysitting was a minefield, when they are older you are a taxi driver regardless of number.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Mathsbabe · 05/08/2025 13:37

I had two, 15 months gap, loved all of it. They are 28 and 29 now and very close, shared hobbies and friends.

Fizbosshoes · 05/08/2025 13:46

I love having 2, they got on well until the youngest was around 5, then not especially - apart from on holiday, which was great.
Now DS is a teen, they've started to get on well again, but they are always pranking each other and me and teasing each other, I love it. DD has just done her first year at uni and there is just a different energy in the house when they are both there.

LindorDoubleChoc · 05/08/2025 13:49

I feel very lucky to have the two children I wanted, having decided late in life. It's the most wonderful thing I've ever done. They are 24 and 21 now, born 2 years 8 months apart, and love each other dearly.

Yes, it was hard work when they were very young but that time actually flies by. And it is fun at the same time as being hard work you know!

Say you live to 80, if your children leave home when they are 20 then they only live under the same roof as you for a quarter of your life. I'm not religious, but children are a blessing and if you doubt you will enjoy them or be unwilling to devote a lot of time and energy to them, then please make sure your contraception is watertight.

Thaawtsom · 05/08/2025 13:50

I have three, and would have considered a fourth if DC2 and DC3 hadn't been twins (and another set of twins likely).

They are late teens now and I LOVE having a bigger family and I love that they are there for each other and will be throughout their lives. All three have ND and it hasn't been easy AT ALL and I have no idea how we will afford uni, but would make all the same decisions again. I cannot imagine life without them. (Although I HATED having three pre-schoolers.)

Iloveeverycat · 05/08/2025 13:56

I loved having 4 close together 5 year old, 2 year old twins and a newborn. I was very lucky to have chilled kids no velcro babies and lucky to be a SAHM.
I personally don't understand why there are so many people on here that say they can't wait for their kids to go back to school and nursery and that just Christmas for a start. Why don't they want to spend time with their children.

FunnysInLaJardin · 05/08/2025 13:58

I love having 2, BUT I did have a 4 year gap which has meant that they never competed with one another and have never fought or argued (much)

The eldest is definitely the lead brother and the youngest is the baby.

They are 15 and 19 now and still get along really well

flipflop76 · 05/08/2025 14:00

I couldn't have more than one but I'm happy with that as I feel like one stretches me to the limits of what I can cope with. I think another would finish me off! I also have a difficult relationship with my sibling who has additional needs and I wouldn't want to put my daughter through something similar.

BeCalmNavyDreamer · 05/08/2025 14:02

I have 2, with a 5 year age gap.

I think the positives and benefits of having kids completely balance each other, coming down to they are bloody knackering but also just so much joy to have.

I had a second because I had that baby mad broodiness rather than to have a bigger family. I won't have a third because I feel done and want my life back a bit now. Without the broodiness and thus second child our lives would have been calmer and we would have so much more time but it would feel less like a fun mad house with kids playing around and giggling...eldest would have become a bit like a third adult.

I think it's so balanced in terms of exhaustion but reward that the only reason I would ever have a baby, no matter how many I had, was just scratching that irresistible baby broodiness.

Baguettesandcheeseforever · 05/08/2025 14:02

I live having two. They are my world along with my husband. There’s a 5 year age gap and they bicker when together at times, but they also love and get along together way more than they squabble. We do lots together as a family and enjoy each other’s company. I couldn’t imagine now not having one of them as part of the family.

tripleginandtonic · 05/08/2025 14:03

I was. Couldn't imagine not having siblings growing up, I love the sibling dynamic even niw they've grown.

SunnyPrague · 05/08/2025 14:04

I’m an only child. I had two kids and am delighted about it.

DinosAndMonkeys356 · 05/08/2025 14:22

Your friends likely have small children so they're very much in the trenches of it all.

Mauvehoodie · 05/08/2025 14:23

I love having two! I have a 9 year age gap and they have different Dads so older one is at his Dad's EOW and one night a week. They do love each other and play together. I didn't think I'd get to have the second one and it's just really lovely. But equally, if you're happy with one and don't desperately want another then I'd stick at one. I didn't have my 2nd DC for the sake of my 1st DC or for appearances, I just knew I wanted another (and DP did too of course).

ImFineItsAllFine · 05/08/2025 14:30

Yes I'm one of two mylself and very happy to have two. Only a 2-and-a-bit-year age gap so it was pretty brutal for the first couple of years after DC2 was born but its great to see them running around together now.

DH quite wanted a third but I very firmly didn't.

katieagain · 05/08/2025 14:32

I had one to begin with in my first marriage and it was very full on as he only had me so was very reliant on me to play with all the time.
He was a teen when the girls came along a year apart and I found it so much easier that they had each other to play with.
It also makes holidays easier as they can go off together.

I was an only child and was very lonely growing up and have a lot of guilt that I’m not living close to my aging parents because I’m all they have.

Raffertyhiggins · 05/08/2025 14:40

If a one child family is working well for you, then why change it?

My only regret about having children is that my life has become incredibly limited due to illness which obviously impacts upon my husband and children hugely (long covid). I see 80 year olds who I shopped for when the pandemic hit who are able to do so much more than I can now and it’s getting worse not better, so if I’d had a magic time machine, that would have factored into my decision about having children or not. I feel guilty.

Goldbar · 05/08/2025 14:43

Two kids, 5 year age gap. I love it. Much better for me than having only one.

The thing about the age gap is that I just don't get wound up about a lot of stuff that would annoy me or that I'd have to deal with if the kids were closer in age.

Little one steals the older one's stuff. Older one good-naturedly distracts the little one until they can steal it back. Little one wants the older one's plate. Older one tricks them by asking for the colour plate they don't want and then happily handing it over. Little one blames everything on the older one. Older one finds it hilarious 😂. Little one attacks the older one. They wrestle good-naturedly and no one gets hurt.

There are benefits to smaller age gaps but there are also challenges as well. I'm lucky to have an older DC who is quite laid-back and actually enjoys having a stroppy toddler around the place. They can wind each other up quite happily for hours with minimal intervention required.

1abovethead · 05/08/2025 14:48

Me! I very nearly stopped at 1, I actually had decided to stop trying for a second and was happy about it, when a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

I did seriously consider whether or not to continue with the pregnancy.

But really glad I did now. They are late primary and early secondary school age now and they have always had each other to play with and that has been such a blessing. Its made life so much easier and so much richer for them and for me. Sure they fight too, but they play too. Its nice having more people to love, for them and for me.

Enough4me · 05/08/2025 14:51

OP I have two very different children with a 4 year gap who currently hardly see each other (one teen and one adult). However, I have no regrets as they are my DC. If I'd have stopped at one that would be great too as that's the path I'd have chosen.
When you have more DC you create more love for as many DC as you have. If you stop at one, you don't have a minus amount of love because you love those you know.
You sound happy so don't feel pressured to have more unless you want to.

NameChangedOfc · 05/08/2025 14:55

Define happiness first.

Usernamenotavailable19 · 05/08/2025 14:58

I love having two, they both adore each other and when they do get on they play so nicely. I think my oldest would feel lost now without their younger sibling. I’m not having any more ever. Of course it can be hard at times with more than one but I have no regrets

JeremyBearimysTimeKnife · 05/08/2025 15:00

I’ve got two with an age gap of 2 years and 9 months, I’m perfectly happy with this - I occasionally think it might be nice to have a third but then I remember my previous pregnancies and births and that feeling goes away quickly!

They’re 5 and 3 now and get along reasonably well, they argue at times and wind each other up at bedtime but overall the benefits of having two outweigh the drawbacks and struggles.

They’re both lovely little people in their own right and I’m glad I have them both. Fully understand why some people are one and done though, this parenting thing is hard

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