My 13 year old daughter says she wants to be single when she’s older - no partners, no kids.

[Poodlezzz]

My 13 year old daughter says she wants to be single when she’s older - no partners, no kids.

I obviously want her to make her own choices so keep my opinion to myself… I’m also wondering if this is common for young kids and they change their views when they’re older?

I just worry she’ll be lonely when she’s old! I know it’s far fetched and probably an old fashioned view. But as parents we worry don’t we ?!

There's a precedent: Queen Elizabeth I said similar when she was young, and stuck by it. Not a bad example to emulate. Your daughter may or may not stick by her current view; either is fine.

Honestly @Poodlezzz just respect her decisions, don't mock her, or tell her she definitely change her mind. I knew from 10ish I didn't ever want to have children and I hated all the older women saying it's unnatural and I'd change my mind. I haven't if anything as I've gotten older my conviction to nor have children has gotten stronger. On the partner thing, it's her choice, I think there can be a lot of fun in singlehood and controlling your friendships, let her figure it out, it's not a big deal if she changes her mind or doesn't at all.

As a teenager, I envied my uncle’s bachelor lifestyle: he lived alone all his adult life, and probably never had a relationship, and we all loved him. I made similar vows too.

I did live alone for five years in my twenties, with no regrets. I am married, but have no children,

Apart from the fact you're overthinking this, isn't it well known that the happiest demographic is single women without children? 😁

My 12 year old says the same... and has for years now. I never ever tell her she's wrong or she'll change her mind or anything like that. Just like anything else she is picturing for her future, it's worthy of respect and support. She might stick with it (I was sure I wanted to be married and have two children by the time I was her age and I did just that) or she might do something else... either way it's her life and her decisions and it's great that she's trying out different things to see how they feel.

I remind my daughter (and my son) that there are many years ahead of them to try out all sorts of things so just leave themselves a bit of space in their head to consider all kinds of things when they come up. Maybe they'll like living in Australia or travelling around in a camper van or literally 1000 different things. I am not exactly sure that my life is the best option ever for everyone so I wouldn't tell them it's the right thing to do.

That was my point. That 18% (I rounded to 20) isn’t a tiny percentage. 80% having them (and 50% at 30) isn’t ’overwhelming.

I live hundreds of miles from family and my brothers moved to America in their very early twenties when they got scholarships to attend American Universities. So our parents rarely saw us.

It will be her choice completely when an adult.

Same here. I’m like the family weirdo 😂
No desire for anyone the marriage/children/partner thing. It’s just not for me.
The thought of that kind of life sends shivers down my spine!

Good for her making choices for herself however I was adamant I wouldn't have children at that age , and definitely was anti marriage at 21 and had children

This reminds me of Home Alone when Kevin says “When I grow up and get married, I’m living alone”

worrying about this is a waste of energy, just try to focus on what makes her happy now

I thought the same then! And then once I had my kids I thought it again 😂 (being single I mean)

It's when they reach S3 when they are about 15, when they start to really fancy people and want to connect. Just respect her wishes. She might always feel that way; she might not.

My friends daughter is in her 30s , has a great job , still lives at home , and has never dated or shown any interest in anyone ever . So I guess it happens .