Would you put your 20 month old in nursery if you didn’t have or need to?

[Fitnessmum1]

I am eligible for funded hours but don’t need them, my lo has been with me every day and only been left with his aunt about 3 times for a few hours.
I am at home and don’t need childcare but whilst it’s on offer with just a small supplement I could send him a couple days per week.
He does have older siblings and I take him to playgroups.

No

Babies and toddlers don't really gain anything from "socialisation" in a group of same-age peers with limited adult attention. It's definitely not something they need (with the proviso so long as the home environment is ok).

Four of mine went very part time from 2.5 and 1 didn't go at all

No.

Is this a joke? They gain a lot from it!

Babies and toddlers are naturally social. For most of human history, children grew up surrounded by siblings, cousins, and extended family. Large families lived close together, and child-rearing was a shared responsibility. The idea of a baby being home alone all day with just one parent is a very modern development. And honestly, it’s not necessarily a healthy one.

That's nothing like a nursery set up of 20 toddlers and 4 adults in one room.

And not how nurseries are set up.

People hate this, but I was a SAHM and all of mine did nursery :) no free hours for us though if that makes people less pissed off!

DS1 - started at 28 months, 2 days, 2 months before younger brother was born.
DS2 - started at 16 months, 1 day a week, purely because I needed a break. Went up to 2 days a week.
DD - started around 20 months, again purely because I wanted her to so I could have some time to myself.
No regrets! DD ended up going to 3 days a week because soon after I ended up retraining and going back to work.

OP do it if you want to. Just look at how many people are saying to there is no benefit to the child - cool, so take that out of it and enjoy the benefits to yourself :)

No, not if there’s no need and I’m happy caring for themNo

In terms of child development, responsive adults are what very young children need rather than ‘friends’. Before two and a half/three, children tend to be more of a source of frustration to each other and any real joint play is short lived (less than 5mins). Most play is independent/alongside another child rather than together. They just lack the skills needed to enjoy playing together (sharing/negotiating conflict). Older children/mixed age groups can be more beneficial as older children have learnt these social skills and they can offer responsive care to younger children - like the siblings and cousins you mention. But it’s a myth that children should go to daycare because they need to socialise with other children their own age for half or full days. The skills necessary for successful play can and should be taught by parents when playing with young children whether they go to nursery or not. After all, it’s the adults in nurseries who are teaching the children in their care these skills not other toddlers.

No.

DD did two mornings a week in the nursery preschool room from 3.5 years, loved it, didn’t wish she’d started earlier, settled into Reception a year later happily. We’ll do the same with DS. If you don’t need childcare they don’t need it at under 2 and don’t benefit from it till after 3.

School nursery is an option from 3 but it’s 5 days a week, they wear the uniform, it’s quite structured. They’ll spend 14 years in the school system, no need to get them in it earlier than necessary.

Yes it is, 1:5 is the ratio for 2 year olds.

They don't develop deep relationships at 20 months. Usually only from around 3.

I have my 12 month old in nursery 3 afternoons a week. My husband has cancer and although I could look after my daughter at home I feel it's an opportunity for me and my husband to spend some time together and also spend one to one time with my eldest. I don't think it is particularly beneficial for my daughter but I don't think it's harmful either. My eldest went to the same nursery and it's mostly the same staff that were there four years ago so I think that's the sign of a good nursery. I do think the quality of the staff really makes a difference as to whether it's good for the child or not.

I think it’s good for them to socialise with other children

We waited until age 3 and being fully potty trained. Before that playgroups and parent-child classes are plenty of socialization. They don’t need that much time to get used to the classroom experience.

All children are different. DD was buddied up on her first day (6 months old) and they've been inseparable since. They're now going to school together.

No. It's not beneficial to the child at that age, unless their home circumstances are less than desirable in which case a really good nursery would probably be better for the child than their home life. Really good varied one to one interaction from a loving, educated adult who can respond to their emotional needs is what is best for a young toddler. They just won't get the one to one individualised attention at nursery that's optimum. at that stage.

I knew I could do a better job myself, till mine were about 2.5 or 3 when I sent them for half a day at first increasing to 9-4, and that was brilliant for them.

Our nursery had 1:2 in the baby room and no more than eight babies although they were rarely all in together as they’d be in the garden or out for trips to the park

So if you are saying that it's healthier for children to grow up surrounded by other children of different ages why do you think that is the same as putting a lot of young babies the same age in a room together?

When my kids were little we were out every day at playgroups, the park, soft play, friends' houses with older and younger children, cousins, grandparents, strangers in cafes or at the library or on the bus etc, it can be as sociable as you want it to be. Very young children meet a much wider variety of people and have a wider set of experiences each day when they AREN'T stuck in nursery all day with the same people. Once they are around age 3, though, then I think nursery is more beneficial than staying at home.

I voted not til school nursery but actually on reflection, a couple of days to give you a break considering you also have carer responsibilities might not be a bad idea!
Basically I dont think you should feel like you have to do it, but I don't think you should feel guilty if it makes life a little bit easier either!

(mine went to a childminder 2 days a week from 11 months, and was with grandparents 2 days as well as I worked 4, so I'm definitely not anti childcare)

Your exceptionally unusual nursery doesn't represent 'how nurseries are set up'.
And even though that is significantly better than the norm, it isn't better for the babies than being at home (unless the home situation is unsafe/negligent).

No.

Germs ARE everywhere, yes. But a nursery is an unnatural environment in terms of germs - it's a lot of very young children of a similar age with still developing immune systems some of whom aren't fully vaccinated yet. who are too young to be aware of the need to practice hygiene like not wiping their snotty nose with their hand before touching a toy that will be picked up by another child and put in their mouth.

Any parent knows that as soon as a child mixes closely with a large number of other children, whether it's nursery or Reception at school, that viruses and bugs spread like wildfire.

No, mine went at 3.5, the year before school