Would you put your 20 month old in nursery if you didn’t have or need to?

[Fitnessmum1]

I am eligible for funded hours but don’t need them, my lo has been with me every day and only been left with his aunt about 3 times for a few hours.
I am at home and don’t need childcare but whilst it’s on offer with just a small supplement I could send him a couple days per week.
He does have older siblings and I take him to playgroups.

I'm so surprised at so many of the anti-nursery comments here!

My LO started at 11 months because I had to go back to work, but he absolutely loves nursery... his speech is brilliant, he has learnt to share / take turns, at 2 he has made friends who we now see for play dates, he is exposed to brilliant activities that I can't provide at home, a wider range of foods than I am able to cook, he is so social now and plays so nicely with other children. He really looks forward to his nursery days.

I wouldn’t it’s just a life of bugs and germs you don’t need.

Well it's assuming a home set up with a parent who cooks and takes the child out to toddler groups and has play dates.

Bugs and germs are everywhere - nurseries are fine.

I cook, but DD definitely eats a wider range of food at nursery.

Toddler groups are fine and good but they don’t really replicate group settings like a nursery. That isn’t a judgement on them, and I know socialising doesn’t happen until around three, but socialisation and socialising aren’t the same. I think some children do struggle a bit going from home with mum to nursery aged three.

Neither of my children have attended nursery full time but a couple of days a week can be a nice break for the parent (it can be intense being a sahp) and good for the child. I don’t think it’s necessary for a child to develop well but I certainly don’t think it’s a bad thing.

No. I mean I would choose no nursery at all if I could. I know that’s a luxury choice and not possible for most people even if they wanted it.

No, not at that age, but my 3.5 year old is about to do a couple of days to get her used to the setup before school. But I would never have given up any time with her at that age for no discernible benefit.

I would and did. I had family to look after my dc when I was working but we still opted for nursery 1 day a week from 12 months old then increased to 3 before school. I think it provides a great opportunity.

No. I did two days at two years old with both of mine so they could socialise.

At 20 months I wouldn't. I sent mine (for 12 hours) when they were 27 months old, so a bit older but not as old as school nursery. That worked well for me and the dcs. They were old enough then to benefit from the socialisation and be independent with dressing and using the toilet, but we still had plenty of time for swimming, music classes and trips out. I'm a sahm and didn't need the childcare, but it was useful to have blocks of child-free time for appointments and errands.

100%

Started my son at a childminder at 13 months and they do SO much more there than I would ever think do with him at home. He’s now 2.5 and so excited to see his little buddies. He goes 3 days a week which is a nice balance of being home with me and getting to play with other little kids a few days a week.

Yes - my little one adores nursery and if I stopped working tomorrow I would still send her

Alright we get it 😂 Financially you didn’t need to work. You wanted to work. Your DTs benefitted. It was fine, it was the best thing.

The more you say it the less I believe you…

No I wouldn't. They can get everything they need with you at that age and bemefit massively from it imo. If you're happy and in the lucky position to be able to do it, I'd keep them with you.

DC were at home with me till they went to the nursery at the local primary school to make sure they got a place. Even then it was only a couple of hours each morning. We did loads of activities together and they had play dates as well. I helped look after my grand children and DS said they learnt more with me in a day than they did in nursery.

I did. Not in the uk but ds went to nursery a couple of days from 9mo. I had zero help and a lot of time on my own so I needed some respite; and I also wanted him to learn the language here as we speak English at home. He is starting school in Sept when he is 3; it’s obligated for everyone to start school at 3; its four days a week and I wanted him to find it as easy as possible. I knew this before he was planned so I had him at a time of year that would give him the maximum time before school and mean he is older for the year Xo

Yes, they absolutely love nursery. There are tonnes of toys, books, activities, games and new friends. It’s brilliant for them. My DS met his best friend at nursery. They’re 17 now and never went to the same school but they’ve been thick as thieves since day 1.

Even if it’s just for a few mornings a week it is so good for them. Drop him off, go and do the shopping of meet a friend for coffee, and then collect him. It also helps them build a little bit of independence in prep for starting school.

What does a nursery provide a 20 month old that a parent going to playgroups doesn't?

I think they miss out in nursery as the staff, however good they are don't love your child. They don't delight in the same way other the small steps a child makes or enjoy them the same. They don't have the same bond.

In nursery they play with the same kids every day but a playgroup might be different every time. Mine was starting to recognise her ‘friends’ by that age (maybe not real friends but she knew who some of the other kids were).

Mine needs to go to nursery because I work but I do think a lot of messy play and craft activities are better set up for a group at that age when kids still have a short attention span. I wouldn’t be doing the same sort of activities at home. Mine also eats much better at nursery than at home (I do cook, she is just fussy at home).

@Shenmen it gives them an environment where they can experience the first few steps of independence from their main caregiver and also a variety of children who are doing the exact same thing. It can also act as practice for school and the routine of nursery offers lots of small moments which they repeat at school, like hanging your things up, putting shoes in your space; saying bye to parent, greeting other children already in a group; structured independent activities, learning to trust other adults who are also caring for you, eating in a group, seeing the same faces each time. There are lots of small things that actually when you’re a tiny person, equate to a lot and I do think one day a week even gives you some experience of these things and ultimately helps you adapt easier when school comes. X

It depends what works for you. There is no harm a child this age going to nursery if youd benefit from a break, but similarly if you dont want to/dont feel ready to then they wont be disadvantaged by not going.

I think they can do much of this at home and even more of it when they attend school nursery at 3ish.

When I had the kids at home we had a big group of friends so they had a little gang of mates hung out with and saw most days. We went to lots of playgroups but also to lots of different parks, beaches, the countryside, farms, museums, soft play and each others houses. We went on lots of camping trips, little holidays and festivals together. Loads of experiences every week.

They also knew the other parents well so experienced other people looking after them.

I worked part time so DH would also look after them or we would do lots of childcare swaps.

Worked well for us.
Appreciate it's harder to work p/t now because life is so expensive. But it never made financial sense for me to work f/t as have 3 kids. I do now they are old!

I worked from when my children were younger than that so it’s difficult to imagine myself into a situation of not needing nursery….. but yes, I think I probably would use it even if I’d been at home. My (now grown up) offspring thrived and can remember friends/ nursery staff/ activities/ the animals after all these years. Of course, they’d no doubt have thrived just as much if they’d been home all the time so it’s impossible to know really! But on balance at 20 months I probably would want them to have some nursery sessions even if I hadn’t worked

If I felt he was happy and did plenty of activities and I didn’t feel I needed the break then no I wouldn’t.
I would probably do a pre school the following year before nursery starts maybe two 3 hour sessions a week. Just to get him use to being left.

It depends if it's a good nursery that can meet their needs.

A big mainstream chain nursery with loads of children? No, probably not.

A small, homely nursery with a few other toddlers and staff who really care? Yes I think that would be absolutely fine and they'd probably enjoy it.

Nursery can provide new experiences, new toys, other children to play with. Even at 20 months. If it's a well set up environment then why not?