Would you put your 20 month old in nursery if you didn’t have or need to?

[Fitnessmum1]

I am eligible for funded hours but don’t need them, my lo has been with me every day and only been left with his aunt about 3 times for a few hours.
I am at home and don’t need childcare but whilst it’s on offer with just a small supplement I could send him a couple days per week.
He does have older siblings and I take him to playgroups.

My 4 only went to playschool 5 mornings a week term time the year before they went to school to get them used to going. I would never have sent them any other time.

Yes - nursery is brilliant. I didn’t need to return to work but wanted to. DT’s went to nursery full time from six months old. Lovely staff, facilities and environment.

Mine both started when they turned 2yo and only do 3 mornings a week. They were born very close together and I was going a bit bananas.

I always think, if you don't have to then don't!

There's good research that's there's no benefit (to the child) of childcare before 3.

I read that as skipping nursery and preschool/school nursery entirely if there is no childcare need, then they just start school in reception at usual school age.

My kids go to nursery and preschool because I work. I work for me though, not because I have to, I could be a SAHM I just chose not to. They go part time though, literally only the 2 days I work and they love going and get so much from it.

In your shoes I would see if I could find somewhere that offered a place just to use the funded hours since the entitlement to them is there, something like a couple of mornings a week maybe, not even whole days.

You don't need the childcare but you'd have some time to yourself which is priceless IMO, especially in a busy household with older kids. And, if it doesn't work out or little one can't cope, you can just take them out. 🤷‍♀️

No. Nursery is not actively beneficial to them until they are about 3. Exceptional circumstances asides like special needs, domestic abuse, parents with addiction or mental health issues etc. Otherwise it is more beneficial for them to be at home with one main carer.

DT’s nursery was 1:2 ratio for babies - same as they would have got if I’d stayed at home. They benefited from nursery.

I wouldnt at 20 months. Mine turned 3 in June and will be going to nursery 2 days a week in september. I dont think she would have benefited from going any earlier, but the last few months, I have been struggling so am looking forward to having a little time on my own and hopefully appreciate the time we have together more.

I put mine in for 1 day a week (I know not all nurseries will do this but I got lucky), it gave me some head space and a bit of a break and was great for them to be around other kids and enjoy some fun activities that I wouldn’t have been able to do with them at home

I would - and did.
when my first was a young and I went back to work my mum was on hand and happy to have her for the 3 part days I worked.
when she was 12 months old I decided to send her to nursery - to begin with it was an hour a week, which then built up to 3 hours once a week.
its probably quite difficult to find those hours now, and I wouldn’t want to feel forced in to sending her for a larger, set amount of hours per week.
but I did feel like it was nice for her to be around other young children her age for a bit - without it falling on my mum on the days I worked.

I would and did but thats a personal choice.

I’ve worked in nurseries including many baby rooms. Even the best isn’t equivalent to home with a parent or grandparent and the studies show that it isn’t actively beneficial until 3.

Our nursery provided everything we wanted.

Neither DH or I wanted to be SAHP and grandparents had their own jobs and didn’t live in the same country

to this poster and @NuffSaidSam . The nursery can provide input from other adults who interact differently with them than mum does and they can mix with and play alongside other small children and have enriching creative experiences.

Sorry my comment triggered you so much, though am not sure why you're so defensive about it.

MN does tend to be a bit anti nursery (also anti SAHM but that’s another matter!) but I would.

I would use them so that you get a small break each week, but seems I’m in the minority.

I did. As at the time it was the only legal way for him to socialise with other children and I think it really helped with his development. Not sure if I would have done the same outside of lockdown , but maybe I would .

I did for the socialisation aspect. My DS started at 14months with 1 session per week with the plan to go up to 2 sessions a week. However, I've pulled him out altogether after he witnessed a safeguarding issue, a member of staff screamed at a child and physically manhandled them. Never again will my DC go to a 0-3 nursery. If you don't have to, don't x

You were working to keep a roof over your heads. That changes the balance but I thought that we were talking about someone(OP) who didn’t need to send their child to nursery. If you were working then you clearly need childcare in some form.

I'm sorry you found a simple question 'defensive'. I can assure you it want intended that way.

I'm sure that most people have access to other adults outside of a nursery setting. Most children have grandparents and other extended family, family friends, neighbours, access to playgroups/classes, other parents etc. I don't think it's accurate to say that only nursery can provide a child with adults outside of their mother.

In addition, any good parent can provide opportunities for them to play with other children and enriching creative experiences.

I agree though, that should a parent be unable to provide any other adults or children to interact with and no creative enrichment then some time in childcare is a good idea. I think you've maybe got a slightly negative view of what a parent can and will provide for a child. I hope this isn't based on your personal experience as that must be very tough for you.

I did 2 mornings a week from 2 and 2.5 for my kids. It was great for them and for me. I’d rather not do full time childcare for my kids, but this ends up being a good amount and the teachers have great ideas and teach me new tricks. I also have chronic health issues so it helps balance out the weeks if I’m too tired to be an A+ mum.

Probably not although both of mine went to preschool part-time for the year before they started school to get them ready.

Financially neither DH or I needed to work but we both had careers that we enjoyed and wanted to progress in.

I would send them between the ages of 30months - 3 years.
I don't think it's necessary at 20months particularly if you do lots of activities and take them out a lot, unless you are working or desperate for a morning to yourself.

No.

3 yes - but not under 2. Maybe 2.5.