he used to be so sweet now he’s angry all the time 😞

[TiredButTryin5x]

hiya. feelin a bit lost again n just want to know if any1 else’s kid changed like this 🥺

my 13yo (ds2) used to be so kind, used to cuddle me, help with his brothers, play silly games with me n ds4. now he’s just… angry all the time. snappy, shouting, slams his door or storms off if i ask him anything. he picks at ds3 (10yo) and shouts over me if i try n talk.

i know teens are moody n i try not to nag but it’s like he’s got this rage inside him n i don’t know why 😞 he used to talk to me, now he just huffs or ignores me. sometimes he cries in his room but won’t say what’s wrong. i’m worried.

maybe it’s all the chaos at home, maybe it’s me. feel like i’m failing him too now. anyone been through this n come out ok? xx

What is “all the chaos at home” OP?

‘The chaos’ at home is really important here OP… what’s the situation?

Do you have 4 boys and he’s the second oldest, is that right?

Is that the ‘chaos’?

just everything really 😞 4 boys already n now pregnant again. flat’s too small, i sleep on the sofa most nights cos ds4 kicks me in bed. ds3 (10) is gettin assessed for possible asd, he has meltdowns n can’t cope with noise but there’s always noise here. ds1 (15) just stays in his room on xbox n ds2 (13) is like a firework lately.

their dad’s not around, haven’t heard from him in ages. baby’s dad says he cares but doesn’t do much n don’t help with the others. i work part time n try to keep on top of it all but most days it feels like i’m sinking.

so yeah, chaos 😔 n i think ds2 is feeling it more than he says xx

Can you move to a bigger place? Another baby seems like a bad choice here to be honest. Where is the baby going to sleep? Of course he will be feeling it, but he won’t see much point in talking to you about it. Do the kids no about the baby?

I'm sorry you're having a tough time but Are these repeated threads actually helping you?

I was wondering that.
I'm sorry about your situation but I'm not sure what to suggest.

You are less than 12 weeks still so you do have options, bearing in mind your boyfriend is useless and doesn't even live with you.

yeah the boys know. didn’t really do a big sit down or nothing, just kind of came out when i was sick all the time n they guessed. ds2 didn’t say much at first but now he just seems more upset with everything.

i’ve asked the council about moving but they said we’re not classed as overcrowded yet. been here years, 3 bed flat, no garden. i know another baby sounds mad to some ppl 😞 but it weren’t planned n i couldn’t go through with ending it. just trying to do my best now.

i don’t know if the threads help or not. sometimes just typing it out helps me breathe a bit xx

Have you considered asking early help for support with the choas?

What are you doing to support your kids through this time? Can you access any extra help for them from school, they may be able to suggest the relevant services?

This post will go the way of the others op. You’re making terrible choices and seeming surprised at the terrible outcomes. Your son is probably somewhat furious with you, you can’t provide for the kids you’ve already got and you’re choosing to have another with yet another feckless father. You cannot keep using the ‘it wasn’t planned’ excuse, being caught out once or perhaps twice could be understandable but five times is just getting daft.
Your thirteen year old lives in a home that’s too small and overcrowded, with a younger brother who is probably difficult to live with in many ways (albeit it isn’t his fault) and he doesn’t have a dad on the scene to make up for the lack of care and attention he receives from you, and he’s angry.
I know you say you can’t bring yourself to end this pregnancy but I can’t help but feel it might be the better option for your family. Your existing children ought to be the priority.
I know you love them, but love isn’t all they need.

Another thread OP? You’re sleeping on a sofa and pregnant again. Your kids are struggling and you need to focus on them. You are making really poor choices here and they are suffering.

I know teens are moody n i try not to nag but it’s like he’s got this rage inside him n i don’t know why 😞 he used to talk to me, now he just huffs or ignores me. sometimes he cries in his room but won’t say what’s wrong. i’m worried.

This is so sad.
He probably hates your current boyfriend, hates the fact that you are pregnant again and just is really struggling with everything.
Do you have any family members that he could talk to?

Oh love, you're not failing him. What you're describing is sadly really common during early teens — especially around 13. It’s like they’re caught between being your little boy and trying to become this new, more independent person, and they just don’t know how to handle the storm inside them. Hormones, school pressures, identity stuff, maybe even friendships or online things he’s not ready to talk about — it all piles up.

The cuddly, silly side of him is still in there, just a bit buried for now. He might not show it, but he still needs you more than ever — just in a quieter, more patient way. Keep being that steady, safe space even when he pushes you away. You're doing more right than you think.

You're not alone, and this phase does pass — messy, heartbreaking, and slow as it might be. Other mums have walked through it and come out the other side with their kids reconnecting, stronger than before. Sending you a big hug. You’re doing your best, and that is enough. xx

You’re doing your best, and that is enough. xx

No it isn’t enough.

You need to suck it up, if it’s early, get a termination and focus on the children you have, sorry but this is so self indulgent. Life is sometimes extremely hard but you are making your own life worse and you are clearly not coping already.

Her children live in an overcrowded home, their dad doesn’t bother with them and their mums got herself a shit boyfriend who she has now got pregnant with. At some point someone has to be an adult. It’s not OP’s fault her ex is completely useless but she has to deal with whats in front of her. Take charge of your life OP, no-one is going to do it for you. I consider this failing, they can’t trust their mum to put them first.

Exactly these kids are probably set up for dysfunctional lives.
Hopefully not but they don't have much to go on to start with.

Well 13 year olds are hard work. Then the house is quite crowded so he has nowhere he can go for peace and quiet. And his mum is pregnant again so there will be another child who needs a bed. His older brother has his own room and hides away all the time unless he is babysitting I presume. The dad is not on the scene so no space to escape to.
It all sounds quite dysfunctional. You need to move your 4 year old into his room too which will be hard on him,
Did you apply for college for your eldest?

I don't know what to suggest based on your situation but my question is Do you not know of birth control?

Would you have these many children if You lived in America where each Pregnancy and child birth cost is around 15-20K. Or is it just free health care and education in this country? Just Curious really.

Can you put in for an exchange to get a bigger property?

i think you need to spend some one to one time with your 13 year old, find something in common

Poor kids. Churning out baby after baby you can’t properly provide for with useless absent fathers plugging them into the wifi as a substitute for actually parenting then scratching your head in bewilderment as to why they are troubled unhappy and not thriving.

Poor child. To be 13 and in a crowded flat with constant noise and a new baby coming and Mum taking up with some new useless bloke. Do better for your children.

So your 15yo won't come out of his room and has no plans for post GCSEs.

Your 13yo is angry and upset.

Your 10yo cannot cope with noise.

There is no second parent in the picture and you seem to have no support.

You're all living in a 3 bed flat, and you're sleeping on the sofa.

Have you considered adoption of your current pregnancy, given that you wish to conyinue with it?

Your existing children are not coping at the moment, and adding in another person will take time and money away from each of them.

It will also add in noise, and that is going to increase the tension in your household.

It comes through very clearly that you love your children, but I believe you would benefit from some support.

You all sound like you are overwhelmed and struggling, but as the adult you need to be the one to get things under control.

There were some great charities signposted on your thread yesterday incl. Gingerbread.