he used to be so sweet now he’s angry all the time 😞

[TiredButTryin5x]

hiya. feelin a bit lost again n just want to know if any1 else’s kid changed like this 🥺

my 13yo (ds2) used to be so kind, used to cuddle me, help with his brothers, play silly games with me n ds4. now he’s just… angry all the time. snappy, shouting, slams his door or storms off if i ask him anything. he picks at ds3 (10yo) and shouts over me if i try n talk.

i know teens are moody n i try not to nag but it’s like he’s got this rage inside him n i don’t know why 😞 he used to talk to me, now he just huffs or ignores me. sometimes he cries in his room but won’t say what’s wrong. i’m worried.

maybe it’s all the chaos at home, maybe it’s me. feel like i’m failing him too now. anyone been through this n come out ok? xx

You dont need Mumsnet, you need a psychiatrist and some reliable contraception.

Vile comment. Absolutely uncalled for.

There are times when it could be argued that not to terminate is a selfish act. This is one of those times. There are also times when doing your best isn’t good enough, and you need help, and take better control of your life. This is also one of those times. Your poor kids, op.

I believe the 15 year old does because she can't afford childcare.

I think what a PP said rings true here. You are being a passenger, acting as if you have no say in what happens. You do! But you need to take control now. Your kids need you to parent them and as we all know, that’s a lot more than just keeping them fed with a roof over their heads.

They need someone who will make tough decisions, you need to make sure your eldest has a plan after GCSE’s whether he likes it or not. You need to talk to your son and find out what is truly happening. Being honest OP, I think your kids would be highly at risk from county lines etc and you need to be very aware of that and making sure they are safe.

I would personally terminate the pregnancy because I think that would be in the best interests of your existing children. I think you are spread too thinly and are being a little apathetic about parenting them and they need you. You are the only parent they have and you need to step up. You need to be the one making the tough decisions and implementing change. No one else can.

Please be proactive OP.
Seek support from the school.
Call your GP re: new pregnancy.
Get birth control.
Ditch men.
Make a list of priority jobs in your house.
Look at the local college courses with 15 year old.

Where is the father of these kids?

How is that a vile comment? It's sensible advice.

Seems reasonable advice actually. If that was the deleted comment, I'm not sure why.

I would get control otherwise your boys will be in jail.

Enigma there are multiple fathers the only thing they have in common is they are all crap. It’s a sad pathetic situation.

And the time. Assuming the 15yo is up late and the youngest is up early, when can you be sure it’s private? And if it’s not private, it’s abusive.

Finding time for a new relationship when you have so many needy kids seems like a poor priority issue.

Her DC are all at school and she works part time. I'm assume procreation was a daytime activity.

Or predictable that the children will be the adults of tomorrow with chaotic lives and children that will continue the cycle of poverty and deprivation.😔

@TwoFeralKids that’s a bit of a leap isn’t it? Just because a child grows up in a small home it doesn’t mean that they will be a criminal!

The link between lower SES, maternal depravation and crime is massive. This exact situation is a breeding ground for the worst life outcomes. To break these cycles the child must have the drive to, eg desperate to succeed at University to get a good grade and job. If the child doesn't have that drive it's far more likely they end up involved in crime. He's only 15 and seems to have accepted that the lowest is what he wants and unless OP is going to put her kids first and stop neglecting their needs, nothing will change. This is the reason kids end up in gangs, dealing drugs or committing horrible crimes.

All children need certain needs to be met to thrive and one of those needs is a sense of belonging. The child clearly doesn't feel this at home and potentially will look for it in a different setting. Add in the fact there is very little money in the home, people can begin to become desperate.

The truth is yes the mum is there for the children physically but evidently not emotionally, she is neglecting her children who are alive by bringing another baby into this situation. The dad's are terrible too and should be ashamed, but this is the situation she has got herself into and has to make the best of. It's unlikely even if she claims through CMS that she will get much because these kinds of men know how to play the system to avoid paying. Having another baby with another deadbeat is absolutely not in the best interests of anyone but herself. Love isn't enough to raise children unfortunately, if it was I'm sure the country wouldn't have such low birth rates currently.

The best outcome is op terminates for her current children's sakes, engages with her children to find out what their future prospects are and encourage them to study hard or enroll into the appropriate courses when it's time. Contact social services and ask for a family support worker for her other child who either has additional needs or is suspected to have them. A family support worker can assist with the process of getting support for the children in school or at home. They can help with charity grants to get furniture. No one can force her and at the end of it all its her choice, but when you are already a parent every decision you make does impact your children. Focus on your 4 current children and bettering their lives instead of having more right now.

Me too. OP you must thing about what’s right for your existing children, who are already suffering thanks to your choices.