Gutted about holiday with 2 young DCs

[Startoveragain245]

Have been looking forward to this holiday for years - haven’t been abroad in 3 years.

Away with 4 and 1 year old and it’s been a nightmare. 4 yo refuses to go to kids club and has been really emotional. Running after 1 year old constantly, won’t stay in high chair for more than 5 minutes. DH and I constantly bickering because we’re stressed and exhausted.

What is the point in this, in spending all this money for this? Absolutely gutted.

You’re surprised that your 4 year old doesn’t want to be left with strangers in a strange place? 🙄🤷‍♀️

Holidays with little kids are hard. We always did Haven or Centre Parcs with them at that age as it’s more relaxed and did foreign holidays as they got older. I think you really have to change your expectations and maybe split the childcare between you and your dh so you both get a break.

Can you stay with the 4yo at kids club? I think they can be good as they have loads of toys and run activities etc so it helps break up the day a bit/a break from the sun. Also if they get familiar with the club they might be happy to stay without you.

Do you enjoy spending time with your kids?

If not, it doesn't matter where you are, you won't have a "holiday"

I think a lot of parents envision a holiday as being kid free, even when kids are there.. which of course never happens.

Why are you trying to palm him off when on holiday? Spend time together as a family? And sorry but 1 years olds run about - that is in their nature.
It sounds like you would rather have a kid free holiday - perhaps leave them with grandparents next time ehh?

I'm sorry but I've never understood this need to take kids under 5 abroad and expect that the holiday/flight is going to be fun for them.
It's is always more what the parents want.
You can holiday in your own country for a couple of years surely?

We didn't go abroad with young kids for this exact reason.

Some posters enjoying sticking the boot in as usual I see. I'm sure the OP loves her kids just as much as you love yours. She's not palming them off, she just wants a relaxing and fun holiday for and with her children.

A hot holiday is possible with young children and there's lots of good advice here, the best being to take it in turns to have a break and lower your expectations.

Hope the rest of the holiday is better for you.

Can you not go play with them in the kids club? I never left my 4/5 year old alone in one as the places I've been they had a pool in the middle and I never felt comfortable entrusting strangers to make sure they didn't wander off and drown. Holidays with kids can be fun if you put them at the centre of it. We'd take turns being the parent on lookout/ the parent who could read when we were at the beach.

I'd probably try and rebrand it in your mind as a chance to spend time with your kids, but with nicer weather and someone else doing all the cooking and washing up. Split up and one adult per child is probably the most likely way to have a nice time.

take turns !!

Do this. One of you has the kids for an hour or two and the other one has a break and vice versa. Rest of the time do whatever the 4 yo wants to do 😀

It boggles my mind that people do it every year and moan about it every year. So many of my friends hate it but continue to do it. So weird to me. Just seems like a massive waste of money. Kids that age are literally happy playing in a puddle.

Why is a 4yo in a high chair? Not surprised they don't want to stay in it - must be very uncomfortable missing point of thread entirely

@Seeline The 1 year old is in the high-chair!

I think the 1 year old is in the high chair 🤣

We didn't go abroad with DS until he was 8 for this reason, not paying £££ to not be able to relax.

I strongly disagree with this. We had fabulous holidays when our children were young - completely centred around them and we all had a wonderful time. Horses for courses, but not every flight /holiday is difficult with small children

Thanks for all of your replies and helpful suggestions, really appreciate it!

I think you’re all right about expectations and the need to lower them.

Yes I do love my kids and enjoy spending time with them, I guess I just wasn’t expecting it to be quite this full on and exhausting. The hotel isn’t ideal either really as it doesn’t have much shaded space or a playground, but I’ve learned a lot from this.

Will definitely try giving each other time to chill out a bit.

Thanks all!

I think you expected too much. Holiday's with children is hard work they don't suddenly change just because you are away.
If you look at it from your childrens' point of view they are in a strange place away from everything familiar its not surprising the 4 year old is refusing to go to a kid's club with people they have never met and that the baby is unsettled.
I think the only way to enjoy holidays with young children is to focus on making them happy, so do things that they will enjoy, say yes a lot more than you would at home and go with the flow. A holiday with young children can never be the type of holiday you had before. They can be fun and enjoyable though but only if you don't expect too much

Holidays are about trailing around after them at that age 🤣 I don’t find it stressful though. Both me and DH enjoy watching the kids enjoy themselves. Mine won’t go to kids club either. We normally go to the room for a siesta and take turns to wander out alone if we want to.

You we’re naïve OP but many parents with little ones are the same. It’s a learning curve. Hope you enjoy the rest of your break.

We love it! My kids talk about it all year round, they’re no bother flying, my DH loves it. We’re quite sporty parents who are happy to be on our feet playing with our kids.

Since having DC I’ve prioritised making sure there was a splash park, only small as kids are still very young. We start at one of the other pools that have a child’s section, have the morning there, then go and have lunch and go to the splash park part for the afternoon. We’ve only done all inclusive because how much they eat can vary, and they don’t sit still. The last holiday we were probably eating in the restaurant for about 10 mins before we had to leave 😂 oh and having an option for lunch that isn’t in the buffet restaurant, something we can have poolside in the bar there!

There is nothing relaxing about holidaying with 2 kids, we get back needing a real holiday haha - but we’ve always had the best time.

I avoided those sorts of places because dd1 is autistic and hated noisy children. Instead I booked city breaks and road trips plus had a large double buggy. Best places were inland hotels where no other kids were staying, had pool to ourselves.

Oh OP I feel for you - I remember our first holiday post-kids, I was somehow expecting to have a lovely relaxing time - what was I thinking?! As pp says, aim for enjoyable but not relaxing. Good luck.

I feel your pain, but unfortunately I agree with others than your expectations are way off with those ages. If it makes you feel any better, we gave up on holidays anywhere even vaguely expensive until our youngest was 5 (and the others were 7 and 9) and none of them went into any of the kids clubs. By that age though they were capable in the water (ish), needed a gentle eye out by DH and I (who took it in turns) and we still had some adult time later back in our rooms once the kids were asleep. I remember that first one very, very fondly.