Gutted about holiday with 2 young DCs

[Startoveragain245]

Have been looking forward to this holiday for years - haven’t been abroad in 3 years.

Away with 4 and 1 year old and it’s been a nightmare. 4 yo refuses to go to kids club and has been really emotional. Running after 1 year old constantly, won’t stay in high chair for more than 5 minutes. DH and I constantly bickering because we’re stressed and exhausted.

What is the point in this, in spending all this money for this? Absolutely gutted.

I definitely wouldn’t expect a 4 year old to go alone to kids club - how scary for them actually. I agree that you each take a child and you do age appropriate things. I actually take my dc abroad separately, then no fighting, we get time together, very relaxed. It’s just so much easier!

But for not, separate things, I actually found that walks, parks, museums were great with my youngest as a just mobile baby, so if there any museums or botanical gardens you want to see, and your 1 year old is happy in the pushchair then that’s ideal. Pool/beach holidays just aren’t easy with those ages.

Then you each get a bit of time to do an activity you enjoy too. Adjust them to staying up later and have dinner out together or get them to bed early so you get time as a couple to have a meal (room service, takeaway, cook) and to relax.

My top tip for holidaying with young DC is to embrace self-catering!

I know some people are absolutely adamant that a holiday where you have to cook is not a holiday, I can understand that but it's just soooo much easier with children.

We love AirBnB, particularly places that are owned and used by people who have young children themselves as they often have stack of children's stuff - books and toys as well as gardens with swings, slides, trampolines and treehouses. So easy to sit back with a glass of wine while DC get stuck into the novelty of a new box of toys or explore the garden.

You can eat what you want, when you want, you're not tied to a schedule. DC fed up of sitting at the table? They don't have to, you're in your own place. Once DC are in bed you can relax, sit in the garden, by the pool if you have one or whatever. I never know what people staying in hotels with young children do after bedtime. Sit on the balcony I guess?

i disagree with people and the kids club thing though! my now 4 year old has went to kids club since she was 3 for an hour or so most days! she loved it and made lots of friends - but shes very social and confident enough to go ! If she didn't want to go I wouldn't have sent her! Every child is different and its ok to use if you want to and can do!

You don't get a holiday from parenting when you have young children unless you leave then with a caregiver and go away on your own.

Agree with @Bringinguptherear

We always did self catering. We'd have a few easy meals out (burgers, chips) and ice cream out a few evenings. Self catering meant simple food like spaghetti with supermarket frozen meatballs, frozen pizza, sandwiches and bag salad or egg fried rice - very simple meals I knew the kids would eat.

No, not really restful, but I think your expectations were off, OP.

The golden years of childhood! We had great holidays during that stage.

Sorry for you OP. Lower your expectations. Let each of you have a couple of ours to chill by the pool every day while the other does the caring. Work around their schedules.

Honestly being on holidays with that age group is just doing the same relentless stuff (with moments of joy! - all joy and no fun) without your usual routine/house/toys/nursery/babysitters. We sat it out for a few years.

YANBU

Total waste of time, money and effort

My children went on all sorts of holidays and we quickly discovered that the best ones were Disney or other theme parks so that is what we did . If you did a hotel / pool/ beach holiday by day 2/3 we were looking for trips to take them on because they were interested in pools/ beach for about 2 hours unless it was an actual water park and then looking for entertainment . Neither of ours ever went to a kids club . So I think your expectations need adjusting .

Adjusting of expectations- yes - you can’t expect a 4 yo to go to the kids club happily. They want to be with you, and reasonably so! Maybe if they had an older sibling going but otherwise not.

Proper sharing of tasks is really key - taking turns with all the tasks and shifts, giving each other a proper break, spend some time splitting forces between the kids etc. Usually when a parent (read Mum) says they’re not enjoying a holiday it’s because the other parent (read Dad) isn’t pulling their (his) weight.

Make sure there’s a siesta factored in to every day too.

I agree 6-13 are the golden years, esp for holidays and fun activities

Alright calm down ffs. She just wants a break for a couple of hours on holiday. Might as well never send them to nursery or school either. Be with them 24/7 and pretend to love every second.

She just wants a break, well the child is also on holiday and wants a break. And to spend that break with people they love and know.

we went abroad with our four every year.it wasn’t ever going to be a read a novel lay in the sun type of holiday.We bought a paddling pool and sun shade and spent the mornings at the beach.We took them paddling and made sandcastles etc.We were very relaxed about food so they had plenty of croissants and cartons of drink etc as snacks.
In the evening we ate at a restaurant that served kids meals then we did colouring/ toys until we were done.We found that the hotels with kids club had fantastic play areas so that helped to use up some excess steam.You can have an enjoyable holiday it’s a matter of managing your expectations.

“The child is also on holiday and wants a break”

Yes, because this is comparable to the break that parents need 🙄 I agree OP needs to adjust expectations and kids clubs are not for me personally. We have a nearly 4 year old and we don’t bother going abroad yet. We work with what works for our child and therefore makes our lives easier and more peaceful and makes holidays as relaxed as they can be with a young child.

But for fuck sake OP is just having a wee moan that she would have liked her kid to enjoy a couple of hours of crèche a day to get some peace. Plenty of people do it and plenty of kids enjoy it. Get a grip.

You need to go with a clear plan : take turn. You won’t both sit in the same time. Except if all the running around do eventually get them to sleep at night.
BUT
they do remember and when they are parents, they will even more appreciate your efforts.

You are doing great 👏