Gutted about holiday with 2 young DCs

[Startoveragain245]

Have been looking forward to this holiday for years - haven’t been abroad in 3 years.

Away with 4 and 1 year old and it’s been a nightmare. 4 yo refuses to go to kids club and has been really emotional. Running after 1 year old constantly, won’t stay in high chair for more than 5 minutes. DH and I constantly bickering because we’re stressed and exhausted.

What is the point in this, in spending all this money for this? Absolutely gutted.

your expectations are too high

take turns !!

we always separate in the morning - one of us has a pool morning or whatever with 4 year old - 1 year old comes for a bit and then goes away to get dry in the room! Take for a run around somewhere or play in room for a bit

when it’s nap time you can take turns sitting in the room or have the baby nap on the go and you can sit with a wine and a book and relax

make sure you both get some time kid free

get out and about - we always get bikes with seats for the kids and go off out somewhere

running after a 1 year old is just what having a 1 year old is like holiday or not.

surely it’s still better being away then home - there’s fun stuff to do, no launder or cooking

my Kids are exact same ages as yours and we are always away - id never say it’s relaxing exactly but we still enjoy it

What kind of holiday is it? I'd there's a kids club I assume a fairly nice hotel with a pool and a beach?

If the 4 year old doesn't want to go to kids club then bin it off, they're on holiday too and probably just wanna spend time with you guys.

Let them splash in the pool, go on the beach, get ice creams every day. Split things up so there's time altogether, a bit of 1-1 (like 1 kid per parent) and a bit of kid free time (while the other parent watches both) even if it's just an hour here and there. Hopefully they'll crash in the evening and you guys can relax in the room or if there's a little balcony thing on your room etc.

Maybe see about any manageable trips, nothing big but like a wander into the town, check out if there's any green spaces to explore, let the 4 year old pick a souvenir to take home.

It's holidays with little kids basically.

Why not hang out at pool as a family?

Sorry, but as pp your expectations are off.

we never went to kids clubs - family holidays were just that. they want to be with you. Mine are the same ages and we did Portugal a few months ago. Morning at the beach, afternoon at the pool. Lots of snacks. Going for a wander round the hotel public areas - there was a playground but they also loved the huge sofas. Colouring on sun beds when they needed some quiet for a minute. Evening mini disco then they crashed and I read for an hour. Fit activities to their energy levels

and hey, it’s cheaper than it’ll be next year when they start school! (

I think it’s a lot to
ask a 4 year old to go to kids club. They are so little still and far from home with no other adults or kids that they know. I agree with PP that you just need to change your expectations and have very small days - hang by the pool, try and get everyone to nap at lunch, take it in turns to get a break.

You need to look at family holidays when they are this age as: same shit, different location. Sorry, but this is the reality. It will get easier. As PPs said: lower your expectations.

I have outgoing kids who won't go to clubs on holiday. At that age it is too young for many. Some cope ok, but for many it is too much.
Go with the flow. Time by the pool, colouring in, sanders around the complex, afternoon naps.

Hot holidays at that age were about spending time with them. We both worked full time and DH was away a lot. I don’t remember it being awful - but we did things they liked. A short walk, a paddle, a splash in the pool. Exploring a town. Never did kids club. Did try to put older boy into snow club when he was 3 or 4. Didn’t work either!

i never send my 5 year old to kids club. You have young children you’ll have to spend time with them 247 on holiday.

That sounds utterly boring lying by the pool anyway

Holidays with kids is just parenting in a different location with more challenges and less of your normal stuff around. I'm not sure what you expected tbh but I feel like you need to adjust your expectations! The days of relaxing holidays is pretty much over for a good few years now 😂 The kids are in a completely new environment, in a different country, with all the heat, new food, different bedroom etc and you're surprised your 4 year old doesn't want to be left with complete strangers rather than be with you?

What does the 4 year old want to do? Pool or beach? If that’s the case I’d do what PP said- all go to pool or beach and when the 1 year old gets fed up/ tired, one of you takes them back to the room for a sleep/ chill out.

Make sure there’s time to have a chill for the 4 year old too.

I can’t see where the OP has mentioned lying by the pool, but, if that is the OP’s choice of holiday then that’s fine. Some people enjoy reading or just chilling by the pool. Absolutely fine if it’s not for you but sure you have the imagination to understand that everyone likes different things.

After a disastrous package trip with our eldest at 2 didn’t bother going abroad again until our youngest was school age. Waste of money and effort. Travel with primary age is brilliant and so much more worthwhile.

I'm afraid as others have said, you have to adjust your expectations. Break the day into chunks of activity. Pool, little walks, beach, go for a snack, read a book together on a lounger, etc. if you have a balcony on your room you can read and chill there in the evenings when they’re asleep.

my favourite thing is sitting and reading by the pool and I’m afraid it’s hard to do that for a few years but you will get it back (if that’s what you like).

We used to buy a small cheap paddling pool that the youngest one could sit and splash in next to the sunbed while one of us took the older one in the pool. Naps on the sunbed, under a parasol, while we read. We had early dinner then a walk when it was cooler in the evening. Once they were in bed we sat on the balcony with a well earned drink.

No holiday with kids that age is relaxing. When my kids were that age, my only remotely relaxing holiday was when my in laws lent us their caravan on a campsite about an hour away for a long weekend.

i had resisted going there for years as I thought it would be awful. Turns out it was amazing! Kids played with other kids, outside all day so got exhausted and slept early. All I did was sit outside with a glass of wine and a book and it was great!

low expectations and low budget for next time.

For me, the best ages to take the kids on holiday was 6 -13.

Agree we’ve had fantastic trips with that age. Then they get moany. Then 15 plus it’s lovely again! Albeit expensive!

Your expectations were too high. I wouldn't expect a 4yo to want to go into a kids club, the 1 yo you need to swim the morning to tire them out, then they nap in the pushchair, then same again in the afternoon. Sit by the kids pool or the shallow bit so the 4yo can play and you can sit on the sun loungers. Take it in turns

Your expectations are too high 4 year old is young to go to holiday club and 1 year olds are hard work wether you are home or abroad. I think you both expected to holiday like care free adults with oldest in hol club and just baby to see to and you are bickering because it's not been the reality. I haven't taken my 9 year old on a beach holiday abroad for 3 years because it's expensive and he has more fun going to caravan sites an hour from home!

Why are you trying for kids club? No way in a million years any of mine would have wanted to, especially at that age.

I second what other posters said - your expectations are far too high. At that age we spent our days with a bit of time in the morning at the pool.

This is how our day went and these are some of my most treasured memories
Morning - DH or I would go to bakery with DDs.
Have breakfast and head to the pool or playground on the way if we were very early
One of us would get in the water. The other sit and read. Then one would take them for a snack. I’d usually take a sticker book/ book/puzzle for time out of the water and if baby got bored I’d put them in the buggy and walk and leave DH with older Dd
Then lunch usually back at the apartment / mobile
Then nap/movie for older DD. DH usually napped then, I’m not a napper so I read.
Then beach after lunch for a bit , ice cream maybe
Back to get washed, playground again followed by mini disco for older DD and playground before dinner.
Then bed for them and DH and I sat on balcony deck having a glass of wine.

Kids are kids but if you manage your expectations and lean into what they need, it can be a lovely break. I never understand parents who say ‘Holidays are Hell’ They are what you make them.
And before anyone posts, I am mindful that a single parent or parent of child with additional needs will have a different experience

Manage expectations, it’s not an adult holiday. Tips yo
cope, find joy in the fact your aren’t cooking, cleaning. Make sure you have an adult afternoon, your partner takes them alone one afternoon, you take them alone another afternoon- so you each get a couple of hrs with a cocktail and to read or sunbathe.
It gets better.
As for kids club I’ve had holidays where they haven’t wanted to go, where they have- it changes. Maybe there will be one activity on the schedule he’ll want to go to.

God love you OP what the fuck did you expect? 😅 Your kids aren’t going to magically be different in Lanzarote or whatever.