I saw someone pointing fingers at my DD

[TheMaryClaire]

Hi Mums! I just want to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice from you all.

My daughter and I went to this restaurant (i don't want to mention the name) over the weekend and had some dinner there. Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around. Suddenly, a lady (around 50 yo) started stopping her and pointing a finger at her, saying that she should not be running around the restaurant.

While I know that she's right, I feel that it's not appropriate to point your fingers at someone else's child. I just apologise to her and walk away with my daughter in tow but I feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.

What do you think?

I think your uncomfortable feeling is because really, at the core of it, you feel it was you yourself who got a telling off and you know in your heart you deserved it.

No, it is not safe or appropriate to allow your child to wander a restaurant. For multiple reasons, for the safety of your child and the people ferrying food and the basic comfort of the other customers. Get a grip girl

OP why the hell were you allowing your child to wander around? I have told this story on hear many times but i will do it again. I was in a cafeteria type restaurant where there were children running around, the lady in front of me paid for her lunch picked up her tray and turned round to walk away, one of the children ran into her full pelt, the scalding hot coffee went all over the child. Who was at fault ? The mother of the child 100% She will have to look at those burns on her child for the rest of her life knowing it is her fault they are there. Do you want to be that Mother ?

And @TheMaryClaire how absolutely terrible of a woman aged 50 to be out in public and stopping your DD from running around. Pointing is the least of it; women over child-bearing age should never go out in public.

I think you need to parent your child instead of allowing her to disturb others.

She shouldn’t be wandering around a busy restaurant. People carrying hot food, drinks. Are you out of your mind?

Nonsense. The OP isn't talking about her daughter just sitting at the table, she's talking about her wandering around, making a nuisance of herself. For one, it's a health and safety issue if she knocks somebody's hot food or drink on herself (or others), also, people just want to be sat enjoying the company they've chosen to go to the restaurant with, not entertain your kid!

Nobody thinks your kid is as funny and cute as you do . I might smile indulgentaly as I walk past but inside I'm thinking Thank fuck it's not my kid to deal with ..

Nailed it

Was she wandering around the restaurant or running? You say both.

I've seen a child run under the feet of a waiter in a restaurant once, and had hot coffee spilled on them. Would you blame the child or waiter in this situation?

These are the social rules OP

When you take your young child to a restaurant where there are many many hazards and other people trying to enjoy a peaceful meal you remain personally responsible for them and their safety.

This means that you need to be with them at all times, that you do not allow them to get in other people's way or to cause them inconvenience.

Your child needs to sit down at the table - if they cannot do this then take them outside yourself or get a babysitter/wait until they can do this.

Other people do not enjoy supervising your child and managing their behavior - I can tell you with absolute certainty that the staff of any restaurant will be cursing you for your lazy parenting.

‘She started wondering around the restaurant’ and ‘some people appreciate it’? Mate.

And you’re writing a post about what’s appropriate? Have some self awareness ffs.

If your dd can’t sit still, then the least you can do is walk around and supervise her, assuming you are in an informal family style restaurant eg a Harvester type place. If it’s somewhere a bit more formal then that shouldn’t be happening at all. It’s not fair on the staff who are rushing around with drinks and food. It’s also not fair the other guests who may just want a quiet meal and not be bothered by random children.

Children wandering around in restaurants is dangerous and unfair on the staff. The lady was right.

Colouring books, small puzzles, polly pockets, a bit play do and you wouldn’t have to leave your daughter annoy other restaurant users

If your kid can’t sit and have a meal without watching videos (annoying if played loudly) or walking about, it might be better to try other activities. Maybe a park cafe or order a takeaway. Kids shouldn’t be walking around anywhere where there are waiting staff carrying drinks.

I never have this issue - I do bring colouring stuff, card games, little toys. And they get told off if they mess about!

This level of entitled obliviousness cannot be real. Can it?

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around.

In all honesty, nobody actually appreciates a small child wandering unsupervised around a restaurant. They were just being polite waving back but you're not doing a public favour by allowing other diners to enjoy a special experience of her cuteness or whatever it felt like. The woman was correct in pointing that out.

Control your child. Stop making a drama out of nothing.

my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in. Some people appreciate it

Trust me, they absolutely don't 😂They might be polite or tolerant but it's not cute or funny despite you thinking it is.

I was in a big Indian restaurant a while ago and some small kids were running round. Parents completely oblivious sat on their phones. One of the kids ran into a waiter who subsequently stumbled and dropped a tray full of food on the floor. The parents (actually realising they might have to get off their phones for a second!) jumped up and started giving the waiter a load of shit for dropping hot curries near their child!!! Thankfully the manager came over and told them that they were the ones out of order and the kids shouldn't have been running around but the fact the parents thought they were in the right beggars belief.

I am generally pretty cynical and never believe these things happen in real life but there are some genuinely entitled and batshit people (parents) out there.

”I feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.”

This feeling is called knowing you are wrong but trying to point the finger (see what I did there!!!) at someone else in order to feel better.

You were still wrong.

you're not doing a public favour by allowing other diners to enjoy a special experience of her cuteness

Absolutely bang on😂

Sorry but yabu. Not sure how old your daughter is but when they are at the short attention span stage you need to stick to buffet restaurants, ones with play areas or McDonald's.

What do I think 🤔...

I'm going to start wandering around restaurants too, being a nuisance. What is the point of appropriate behaviour in public settings these days?

I think there’s a big difference between a toddler having a wander round a restaurant (with their parent) and older children running round. I have seen the latter in a small restaurant where the parents didn’t say anything and I thought that was wrong. People in this thread are acting like a restaurant is so dangerous people need to be chained to their seats 😂 what about going to the toilet/bar?

Both are not on. What aren’t you getting? Going to the toilet is not the same