I saw someone pointing fingers at my DD

[TheMaryClaire]

Hi Mums! I just want to get this off my chest and maybe get some advice from you all.

My daughter and I went to this restaurant (i don't want to mention the name) over the weekend and had some dinner there. Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

Some people appreciate it and smile at her, so I just let her move around. Suddenly, a lady (around 50 yo) started stopping her and pointing a finger at her, saying that she should not be running around the restaurant.

While I know that she's right, I feel that it's not appropriate to point your fingers at someone else's child. I just apologise to her and walk away with my daughter in tow but I feel extremely uncomfortable in my heart.

What do you think?

This. I would not find this cute or funny. Plus it's bloody dangerous if waiting staff dont see her. Parent your child ffs

I remember taking a bag of stuff to keep my DC entertained in restaurants and having to make a real effort to engage and include in conversation or they would get bored. Colouring & sticker books, hama beads, bracelet making kits, magazines with scissors. One of mine resisted all arts & crafts but a small box of lego figurines or some mini cars and he'd be happy. You can't just expect a child to sit there for hours in polite conversation & if they aren't used to do solo activities then it's about time they start but you absolutely can't let them wonder off and bother other diners.

Teach your daughter better manners. Until she can sit quietly in her seat you shouldn’t be taking her to a restaurant and displaying your poor parenting for all to see.

😂

How would you respond if your daughter got under a waiter/waitresses feet and ended up with hot food or drinks spilled on her? Who would you blame?

Parent your child and people wouldn’t have any need to point at her.

When I see children wandering around restaurants (even outdoor seating) I judge the parents harshly. It's incredibly inconsiderate of other diners who are paying for a night out and just want to enjoy a meal in peace.

I can also assure you that absolutely NO ONE "appreciated" your child walking around the restaurant. They were simply gritting their teeth into a smile and being polite. This is how you are justifying your crappy parenting decisions? You did no one in that restaurant a favor other than yourself.

She'd blame the waiter of course!!!!!

You need to go on parenting course and learn how effectively parent your child and set appropriate boundaries. Nobody wants their private meal interrupted by a poorly behaved child.

Do you not understand the health & safety risks of letting your child wander around a restaurant with hot food & drinks?

Are you not concerned that someone carrying a hot drink might be tripped over by your child?

You need to stay away from restaurants and public places until you learn how to control your child.

You shouldn't be allowing her to do this. It's not safe, as waiters may not see her when carrying big trays of drinks/meals. They could trip over her. I'd keep her seated. Also it's bad manners to let her interfere with other diners.

Meh. Must try harder OP.

We're not allowed to point out children apparently. Jurys out on trolls

What do you think?

That you really shouldn't let your kid wander round a restaurant.

Do an online parenting course:

https://www.familylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/online-parenting-courses

What does her age have to do with it?!

I don’t find childcare and pay for a meal out so I can babysit someone else’s kids in a restaurant.

No-one appreciates your DD wandering up and staring at them while they try to chat adult stuff with friends and enjoy their pricey pasta and red wine.

I actually felt my peri-menopausal ovaries give up the ghost reading that OP. Hot flush incoming. 🥵 🫠

@TheMaryClaire So you knew this woman was right that your DD shouldn't be running around the restaurant, but you didn't stop your DD - why not? Why allow your DD to do something you know not to be right? Why weren't you parenting your DD appropriately in a public space? Sorry OP, but this is all on you - and I think you know this too.

Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so after watching some videos, she started wandering around the restaurant hall and waving at all the people coming in.

I think it would be better if this read Of course, as a child, my DD has a really short attention span, so I got out my bag of goodies and we did some colouring/gave her some Playmobil/got her sticker book out

It's your responsibility to keep your child occupied in a restaurant. Free play happens at home or at the park or child-specific activities.

This thread is the reason why I would advocate for people in each country to swap with another country. For example, people in the UK swap with people in Syria for a few years? This would cure certain people in the UK of their first world problems. Then, when they return to the UK and another person points at their child, they would think, 'Ah, well, at least I'm not fighting daily for my very existence'. I'll rise above it.

Oh.

One of those parents.

You are lucky she didn't trip a member of staff up or get more than ' pointy fingers' from strangers.

Parent your bloody child, and no, I'm not interested in any drip feed nonsense you might come up with as an excuse.

@lechatnoir you took Hama beads to a restaurant?! Everyone's happy until it gets catapulted across the salad bar! 😂

retired restaurant owner here.. keep your child in their seat.. I promise you that NOBODY thinks they are cute wandering around. In fact..the serving staff HATES you..because if they accidently spill something hot on your child.. you will kick up a stink. restaurants are NOT your home. Your child should be taught to sit and eat like any other human. If they are too young or have an issue that stops that happening..keep them home and order in. It is NOT up to other paying patrons to "enjoy" the antics of your child. FGS.... my staff hated parents like you.

I think it's not worth losing sleep over

School staff have to take any hot drinks out of the staffroom in closed, lidded cups because of the danger of spilling on to a child. NO child should be running or wandering around a restaurant. The OP's child was NOT being supervised by her parent.

OP, there are few things more irritating in restaurants than other people’s children. If I am paying a reasonable amount for a meal, the last thing I want is children wandering around. I went to a restaurant recently where there were clearly two families with children, who allowed the children to wander at will. Why do I want other people’s bored children roaming round, knocking things over, having to be asked to go back to their parents? I don’t. You’re lucky your child got no worse than a pointed finger - if your child can’t behave in a restaurant, and you can’t be bothered to look after them, I suggest you stay away until they are of such an age that they have learnt what is expected of them at a meal time.