Am I over reacting to something my father in law did with my 17mo?

[123Thoughts]

My father-in-law regularly watches our 17-mo DD. Today he sent a picture of her napping in her cot — which was full of toys, books, and, most worryingly, her sleep sack.
The sleep sack was fully fastened but just lying loose in the cot. She wasn't wearing it. Normally, we keep it folded over the cot rail when not in use, and I always remove it before putting her down because I worry it’s a choking/suffocation risk. It’s not like a blanket — it has neck and arm holes she could get tangled in, which really worries me. To me, it feels like leaving an open bag in the cot.
I wasn’t thrilled about the toys and books — mostly for comfort reasons — but I was furious about the sleep sack. It feels like a big safety risk.
To make things worse, he then told me he was napping too. So not only did he leave her in an unsafe sleep environment, but he wasn’t even actively watching her. He hadn’t asked us to check the cot setup or mentioned he’d be sleeping himself — just sent a “look how cute she is” message.
I texted him suggesting he could go downstairs and ask my husband for the monitor, but to please remove everything except one toy from the cot. I didn’t want to panic him, but I was internally freaking out.
Later, my husband went in and found FIL asleep and the cot still full of stuff, so he cleared it himself.
Am I overreacting for feeling so angry about:
a) him leaving her to nap with what I see as a serious safety risk and then falling asleep himself?
b) not thinking to remove things from the cot once he knew he wouldn’t be supervising?

She's not a small young baby. She's surely big enough to move around and sort herself out.

I don't understand your panic with a child of that age tbh. Have a friendly word and drop it.

It's also perfectly fine for him to sleep while she is.

She’s not a tiny baby. You’re over reacting.

I understand her health problems have made you anxious, OP, but honestly, it’s absolutely fine. She doesn’t need an empty cot and it is absolutely nothing like leaving a carrier bag within reach.

You need to adjust your concerns to those appropriate to a toddler, not a newborn. And cut your FIL some slack, he’s doing you a favour.

I think it you speak to him in the way you are suggesting, you are going to really hurt him.

Either put DD in nursery for another day, or let this go.

So - what you actually said was remove the things if you go downstairs. He said he wasn’t because he was having a sleep too. He didn’t ignore you. You had a communication confusion.
And anyway she’s fine to have all that in her cot at her age, as others have pointed out.

You’re massively overreacting. My 19 month old has a ton of toys in his cot - try telling him no! The gro bag also very unlikely to be an issue and I imagine he’s watching on the monitor anyway.

I think you’re hugely over reacting. If you leave the sleep sack over the cot, what is stopping the baby from pulling it down when you’re not watching her?

She was asleep with two adults in the house for a nap, not the whole night. I know terrible accidents do happen but I think you are irate over nothing.

She would have to work incredibly hard to entangle or suffocate her self in a sleeping bag.

Agreed with this thread @123Thoughts she's a toddler not a newborn. I think you've overreacted quite a bit here.

I wouldn't be worried about this for a 17mo.

She's a 17 month old toddler. You have hugely overreacted and it's time for you to pay for childcare.

I personally think you need to calm down. Your Father in law managed to raise your husband and has successfully looked after your child's cousin.

Ds would only sleep in his wellies and under an umbrella propped up over him. Don't ask 🙄

I still have his little umbrella in the hall,I couldn't bear to get rid of it. He's 24 now 🤣

Definitely overreacting

If it was a small baby I could see your point, but not a 17 month old!

Something I never considered when DDs were small and certainly not at 17 months. Not long after that they were in a toddler bed instead of a cot. God knows what they had in the cot/bed by then. Teddies, books, a cat (if the cat was feeling brave), random other toys...

This.

The amount of times DD was in her cot with some books or teddies while I hopped in the shower and she fell asleep with them in there I can't even remember.

I would move most of them but sometimes it had been one of those days where napping had seemed like it would never happen and I wouldn't dare do anything that might wake her.

Kindly, @123Thoughts, it's a little overreaction, especially if you've never specified how you want your child to sleep when with FIL. Give him your guidance but also trust that he raised your DH safely and that he wouldn't intentionally put your child in danger.

This is my understanding too. I also have a 17 month old and although don’t leave things in the cot etc. out of habit the risk is very very very low.

I think my mum said once I turned one I had my own duvet and pillow 😆

Get a grip.

My 18 month olds were in a bed with duvets, pillows and half of toys r us.

You're overreacting, sorry op

You're being so over-the-top! Your child's one-and-a-half years old, not a new-born.

Your FIL has managed to keep his own kids alive as well as his other grandchildren so far. Your child is going to be absolutely fine in his care and is not going to choke or suffocate. At her age, in the unlikely event she got tangled up in something she would be able to free herself anyway.

I feel really sorry for your FIL to be honest!

Massive overreaction. You have a whole lifetime of being furious and overactive because you can’t protect your toddler from everything. Seriously take a breath.

you are massively over-reacting. I’m struggling to see how an 18-month old could come to harm in this scenario.

So two grown men and one 17 month old child in the same house but somehow you have to hand out rulings on naps?

he wasn’t even actively watching her.

Who sits and watches a sleeping toddler?

I feel sad for your FIL that you are worried about this. He’s done nothing wrong and your child was in no danger. You are overreacting to something that warrants not even a standard reaction.