Living with in laws

[Newboymummy2025]

Hi,
we currently have a 4 month old and live with my mother and father in law. I’m finding it very difficult with the fact that they see him everyday and are always there whenever we walk into another room of the house and they have to speak and try and interact with him. I love them to pieces and glad they get a close relationship with him, but feel some days I want it to just be myself and my husband he sees? Does that seem unfair? Just struggling to set the boundaries and how to word it to them so I can keep sane! I don’t want to cause any upset but it feels a bit suffocating some days. Any advice would be great!

YABU.

That's the price you pay for staying with other people in their own home, them being where they want to be when it suits them.

So some days they interact with him and other days they see him but pretend he isn’t there so you can have your day?

That’s obviously unrealistic and the best option is to move into your own home but I assume you’re staying there for a reason and it’s a small price to pay that your son gets to spend lots of time with his grandparents.

I do get the desire to just have some alone time with your baby and husband but unfortunately that’s unrealistic and not feasible when you’re living with them.

I repeat what I said at the end of another thread where you were trying to hijack with the same post ,you sound ridiculous.

Of course it's going to be every day if you live in their house 🤦🏼‍♀️. As others have said, it's time to stand on your own 2 feet and support yourselves and your child.

This has got to be a joke, or a challenge to see how quickly you can wind Mumsnet readers up !!!!

I don’t know, she certainly posted the same thing on someone else’s thread and was told to start her own…

I’m kind of enjoying working out ways in which the PIL can remain invisible in their own house. Maybe it’s like Chatsworth, where the private family apartments are arranged around the rooms to which the public are admitted…

It’s certainly looking that way!

Hi, I have also lived with parents with a child for 6months whilst I was waiting for my house to complete.
this is completely normally when too many adults are living together. You don’t wanna talk all the time or have someone’s input or even just chat cos it gets tiresome.
you can’t ask them not to interact with your son cos you’re living In their house and it’s also rude.
i suggest you make plans to move out when you can if this is possible, otherwise you’re going to have to try and be patient!

Perhaps you and your husband could book a few days in a cottage somewhere for a short break? It’s very difficult for you and I understand how you feel but when you are living in your in-laws’ house, it’s very difficult to avoid them unfortunately. Is this going to be a long-term situation for you or just a stop gap until you move to somewhere of your own?

some days just want a quiet day of just a family?

Ahhh, if only there were some kind of easy solution to this...

If you want that, then move out of their house. You are completely ridiculous.

Sorry but you can’t set boundaries in a home that is THEIR home. You can’t expect them not to enter a room in THEIR own house because you don’t want them too. If you want your own space and fornitnto just be the 3 of you then sorry but your only option is to leave THEIR home. As far as not wanting them to interact with your baby Everytime you/they enter a room your son is in then i think thats just a silly comment to make why would you want them to not acknowledge he exists.
I personally think you are being very disrespectful to them they have allowed you to stay in THEIR house which they didn’t need to do! Dontou pay them rent? Money towards bills/food/ other expenses? Do they cook your meals/do you cook theirs? What about cleaning/washing amd other household chores who does those?

How exactly do you plan on them not seeing him everyday if you live in the same house which happens to be THEIR house not yours. You cannot tell them they cannot move freely around THEIR own home. I think you are being extremely disrespectful to them.

Unreasonable, selfish, self absorbed, disrespectful, entitled narcissist are some of the words that came to mind when I read your post.

Firstly your planning for a family didn’t quite work out did it as you don’t even have your own home & yet have the audacity to not want to have to see the people whose home you are living in everyday! Talk about entitled!

Can you even comprehend how hurt your in laws would be if they knew this is how you think?!

They most likely aren’t even charging you rent so ‘they’ can help you save.

I doubt you even do much round the house to even help, probably using the excuse of the baby.

I bet they are delighted at being able to help their son and being able to spend time with their Grandson. They are happy in their little bubble not knowing how you really think.

I feel so offended for them.

You are living in their house! You don’t get to dictate who does what & when. The fact it bothers you that they see their Grandson everyday says that you don’t want your son developing a close bond with his father’s parents. I wonder how your husband would feel knowing this……..?

I wouldn’t be surprised if your MIL hasn’t already got the measure of you. I’m sure she has probably noticed your reaction if her or FIL interact with the baby. People are not stupid.

You need to move out if it bothers you so much. Does your husband know how his selfish wife thinks?

You should have moved in with your parents instead. They know what you are like so to them your selfishness will have been nothing new.

This is probably a big ask for your in-laws at their age living with 2 adults & a new born.

You don’t think their peaceful life has been turned upside down just to accommodate your little family???

Just move out without upsetting them and go live in your little bubble and let’s see how well you save without the generosity of the in-laws but at least you can have time just the 3 of you in a poky flat.

Oh & pls do not come back with my in-laws are lovely people we have a great relationship blah blah blah. Someone who genuinely had a warm respectful relationship with their in-laws, this thought would never have entered their heads.

I bet you also wouldn’t turn down any inheritance from them either.

There truly are some seriously selfish people about in the world and OP is definitely one of them.