Living with in laws

[Newboymummy2025]

Hi,
we currently have a 4 month old and live with my mother and father in law. I’m finding it very difficult with the fact that they see him everyday and are always there whenever we walk into another room of the house and they have to speak and try and interact with him. I love them to pieces and glad they get a close relationship with him, but feel some days I want it to just be myself and my husband he sees? Does that seem unfair? Just struggling to set the boundaries and how to word it to them so I can keep sane! I don’t want to cause any upset but it feels a bit suffocating some days. Any advice would be great!

You sounds very spoilt. You’re under their roof (presumably for free!) Grow up and move out!

But you live in their house?

If you just want a quiet day of being a family, then why don’t you get on and organise that for yourselves.
But…..
Don’t expect your in laws to organise it for you.
Don’t expect your in laws to be restricted to one room in their own home.

I’m quite sure your in laws would love a quiet day in their own home too and would be delighted that you went away for a weekend, or went out for the day, or could move out into your own home.

Unless they are refusing to afford you privacy in your own bedroom, your entitlement is off the scale and a little humility whilst living in somebody else’s house might help you appreciate your position more realistically.

Would they move into the shed for a while? It is nearly summer so they wouldn't need any heating or lightning as the sun doesn't set until nearly 10pm. That would give you a reprieve until late Autumn? You could maybe use any free time you have arranging for them to move out permanently?

Or, and I know this is mad but, you could move out of their home......

you are intruding on their space, not other way round, despite how you might feel.
I smell entitled and ungrateful. I get it I do, but you need to pay for your own place before you talk about boundaries with the actual owners of the house who are kindly putting themselves out to accommodate you.

As its THEIR house, why or how are they not going to be there, are you seriously expecting them to go out so you can be on your own with son and hubby ? I had to stay with my ex in laws after i'd had my 1st son, it was only for a few days, but OMG it was extremely stressful, maybe move into your own place if you want your OWN SPACE Be grateful you have a place to live and your inlaws see their grandchild,

You haven't explained the circumstances of you living with your PIL but have you considered they may also want their own space and not having to accommodate 2 grown adults and a child?

I had my DD, DGD and DSIL move in with me temporarily whilst waiting completion on their house and as much as I love them all, it was really difficult having them in my space

You live in their house, how on earth would that work?!

I’m going to mirror what PP’s are saying, if you don’t want to see your in-laws daily, you need to move or have them move. Honestly, unless they are undermining your parenting or doing things that are harmful to the baby, I don’t see the problem.

If you are living with them to benefit you, ie save money, help with baby, etc… then you are very limited on the boundaries you can set. Your recourse is to get your own place. If money is an issue, then you may need to get a job/second job. You will need extended childcare or your in-laws may be willing to babysit, but this will mean that they spend even more time with your baby. The bottom line is if they are providing you a place to live, even if you are paying a reduced rent, then you don’t get to tell them what to do in their home.

If they are living with you for their benefit, then you need to establish reasonable boundaries with your DH that he can communicate to his parents. It is still unreasonable to expect them to not see baby daily if you share living spaces. Your options in this situation involve them moving out.

If this is a mutually beneficial arrangement, you all need to discuss separating households. It is unreasonable to expect them to avoid the common spaces because you don’t want the baby to see them. If you need a break, you and DH can take a weekend away with baby.

This is wild ! What you do OP is move out.Then you can have what you want 👍🏻

Why are you living with them? In laws cant win on here everyone either complains they don't want involvement or in your case that they dare to see their grandchild who lives in their house. Is this a jealousy thing that you are worried they will be closer to your in laws than your family? Book a holiday if you want some time to yourselves do you have plans to move out?

What exactly are you suggesting?
Spell it out.

Where's the AIBU options so I can indicate YABU? What a nerve! You are lucky your PILs are so accommodating. Many grandparents would get fed up of the situation sooner rather than later. Most say it's great seeing or having the grandkids but they can hand them back at the end of the day.

Agree with this and the many other simular comments.

Also very true.

YABU and ridiculous , you are living in their house , unless it’s a mansion and you have your own wing how do you envisage ‘not seeing them’ for a day . If you want family time then move into your own place .

You live with them, how can you possibly not see each other every day? YABU move out you sound like a nightmare.

Sorry to say this but I find yor message quite hilarious, OP. If you are living in their house, do you expect them to just bugger off and go where? Maybe you with your husband and child can organise a day out for just the three of you or a weekend away, if you need a break. It's you who has to do something about this situation, not the in-laws who are already kind enough to share their home with you.

I really want the OP to come back and clarify how she envisages this working.

Move out…….

You can’t expect to live in their house and not see them every day 😆

I don't think OP is coming back

I know 😔. Shame. I want to hear about how she thinks they should stay in their bedroom between 7-7 3 days a week.

You are living in their house! What are they meant to do, hide in the bedroom so he doesn’t see them for the day???
YRBVVU … if you want it just the 3 of you then move out.

If you want to live without anyone else, then there is a pretty simple solution!

Typical of this page … don’t get the response they want, so disappear.