Things your children say that make you smile

[deaftowhingeing]

I know, it's bloody hard work most of the time but sometimes you can't help laughing:

DD1 to MIL "Nanny, why have you got a hairy lip?"

DD1 (4yo) "I don't like sheepdogs"

DH: "Why not darling?"

DD1 "Well I get confused - are they sheep or are they dogs?"

" No, I can't play in the sandpit,DD. Mummy has to do her jobs first."
DD(2) " Me help you do your jobs, mummy! "
Jumping on chair in front of PC and waving mouse around on mumsnet active convos.

DD (2y4mo) - newest things is to have me pretend that she is my mum.

Dd: Say "mummy"
Me: Mummy!!!
DD: (whilst patting me on the head and giving me snuggles) It's ok. I'm here.
... silence...
DD: Say "mummy"
Me: Mummy!
REPEAT TO HEART's CONTENT

Also:
On a Sunday morning when deciding where to go for the day.
Me: Where should we go, dd?
DD(2y3mo): The United States. But it's very expensive...

"Mum, do you remember Napoleon?".

DS2 (10 at the time) to his older brother (11 at the time), after an argument about something or other: "Who do you think you are? Tony Blair?"

DS2 when I asked him to get me a clean bin liner: "The Americans have been searching for this man for years - Osama Bin Liner"!

DD1 and DD2 having an argument over who was cleverer...

DD1 "go on then answer that then Einstein!"

DD2 " I bet you don't even know who Einstein is, do you?"

DD1 "yes I do... he's Frankinstein's brother!"

Thanks Carpi - though I prefer my ds version

my daughter 7yrs said you konw them insects that can make you really ill
yes you mean mosqitos
yeah well they give you an illness called morocco
hahaha
was soooooo funny it makes me laugh just to think of it
my 22 month old was in front of me at the sink while i was washing up the other day and pulls hard on the front of my tracky bottoms and points and my pubes and shouts wow!!! hair!!

oh and the 22 month old calls biscuits -dick dick
and calls chocolate - cock cock

DD who is 5 when is my birthday
Me you know when your birthday is it is ...
DD But it was on that day last year

I've been doing some sex education with ds age 9. We were discussing the bit about people's bodies being different and how it's OK.

Me (reading): Some girls will grow small breasts, and some will have large breasts, and both are OK. Some boys will grow a small penis, and some will have a large penis, and both are OK.

DS (deadpan): I think Dad's got one of the big ones, hasn't he? (DH was chuffed to bits!).

Later, discussing orgasms, he got his wires crossed and was convinced that women had to have one to make baby : "So you've only ever had one orgasm, haven't you Mam?" It was the pitying look he gave me that bothered me.

January this year, DD2 aged 2

"Can I go in the paddling pool?"

Me: "No, it's cold"

DD" I'll put my wetsuit on"

awww what a lovely thread!
dd can't talk yet, so i have nothing to say
but shes bloddy lovely
cant wait till she can talk

DD is only just two, but I love it when she says, "garry", meaning "carry" or "cuddle". It melts my heart.

lilred, i love it when los have their own words for things, its like the mum and lo have their own secret language! tis v cool imo

Shoe shop yesterday, clutching free balloon that came with her shoes:

DD: Mummy? I got a BIG green balloon!
Me: So you have. Aren't you lucky?
DD: Yes. I show Daddy my balloon?
Me: Oh yes, Daddy would love to see your balloon.
DD: Hmm... Daddy will be IMPRESSED.

ds1 "mummy have you terrorised baby's food yet" (instead of liquidised)

ds1 again - "mummy you are my princess or queen or something, daddy is the king, i'm the prince and baby is the toad" - ds1 absolutely adores ds2 but still wants him to be a toad and has become a standing joke now!

loads more just can't think atm

Dd has a mole on her head and tonight after her bath she informed me it is the 'mummy mole, and it looks after my blood and makes sure my skeleton doesn't come out' I don't know where she gets it!

DD2 (nearly 3): Daddy, you'll always be a smelly tomato....

ME: I am spartacus
DH: No, I am spartacus
DS1: No, I am SPARKATUS!

Ds aged 3 1/2 'mummy i'm a genius'!! Dont know where he heard it!

Tonight he announced at bed time 'I want 2 dogs, a cat and a trampoline'....Dont even think i want to know what he intends doing with them....bless !

4 yr old being told to behave replies indignantly "I AM being have!"

Message withdrawn

dd 4 saw a lady in a wheelchair and said mummy that lady is disablerised

got stablisers and disabled mix up me thinks

Great thread!

ds2 copying dd1(who is 15) latest thing to say -

DS2 "Daddy?" as they are coming downstairs hand in hand
DH "yes ds2?"
DS2 " no one likes a suck-up!" He's 3

They also made me laugh when they came back from nanny's having watched according to them a film called "There was a divorce"....... it turned out to be "The Wizard of OZ"

lol Choc. peanut, my dd said today when she saw someone in a wheelchair: "Mummy why is that lady in a wheelbarrow?"