Things your children say that make you smile

[deaftowhingeing]

I know, it's bloody hard work most of the time but sometimes you can't help laughing:

DD1 to MIL "Nanny, why have you got a hairy lip?"

DD1 (4yo) "I don't like sheepdogs"

DH: "Why not darling?"

DD1 "Well I get confused - are they sheep or are they dogs?"

Me "maybe we shouldn't get fish and chips tonight"
DD (3) - Why?
Me - Because they make you fat
DD What? Like you Mummy?

silence

me "yes - I suppose so, like me"

Silence and pondering

DD Mummy?
me - yes pet?
DD Do you HAVE any bones??

My DS is only just learning to talk and this morning he sad "Mama coggle tata" (which means Mummy, cuddle the cat). Not funny but it certainly made me smile.

In bed - leaning across her bed to give her a cuddle
Screams "MUMMY - WATCH OUT!!!! YOU'VE SQUISHED JOESPH!!" Followed by lifting up bedclothes and hysterical laughter

(she was Mary in school nativity play and had renamed her doll Jesus...)

'Police are friends not food' is the one I will always remember

I bought a book a few months ago and try and write down the funniest quotes, possibly more fun to look back on than photos! My DS (2.5)'s latest was about a banana he had started eating and left on the kitchen table all day. He asked DH why it was brown and DH told him that it was because it had been peeled and left in the air all day but would be fine to eat. DS promptly excitedly rushed over (pointing to ceiling) to tell me

Mummy mummy, that banana has gone all black cos its been floating up in the sky all day!

DS1 (2.6) was playing at cooking with his little brother (16 mo) last week.

DS1: No DS2, you can't eat the carrots before I've cooked them. How many times do I have to tell you?

(all said in that world-weary mum voice I have obviously perfected!)

He calls binoculars 'ridiculouses' and looks through the wrong end at things 'falafalaway'.

And, if anyone watches Curb your Enthusiasm, you might appreciate this one. DP asked him if he was enjoying his holidays (we were away last week) and he thought for a moment and then said, 'They're pret-ty, pret-ty, pret-ty good'.

DS1 (3) said the other day 'mummy I am not a child!' in an outraged adult sounding voice, he is right, he is actually a 30 year old in a 3 year old body!

Song words he gets wrong are another classic..

baa baa black sheep: "one up the master and one for a day..."

Spider man theme "...catches bees, just bye byes"

Oh, and squirrels are scribbles and he thinks ribena is mybena, as in "I want some of your bena please mummy" - bless.

Tiger bread is made of tigers.

What is tiger bread?

I have a book called Magic Moments, in which you record all of these embarassing andd funny stories. It was a gift to me, but dd is only 1yo so she hasn't embarrassed me just yet, but its by a company called Rachel Ellen Designs, 0115 9622862.

to a duffy song, the words include serious, dd says cereals.
i f i ask her to do something and we we then get into a discussion she says, well mummy I'm not arguing with you.
nursery say she is always saying, jesus christ.

Was chatting to ds ( 3 in august) about mothers and fathers and explaining they mean the same as mummy and daddy. OK, got that cracked so moved on to...
Me -"And you are my son"

DS " and you mummy are my mooooon!"

Tiger bread is a bit like hedgehog bread (still with me here?)

Basically white bread from supermarket bakery. The tiger bread has some sort of stripey glaze effect. The hedgehog has little spiky bit on it.

Maybe we only get it here in the W Mids. We have batches as well (bread rolls) but that would be a whole new thread.

A-ha. All clear now. thank you.

And don't get me started on regional bread varieties. here in Scotland they have something called a 'well-fired' roll. (Burnt).

floury bap anyone??

Dd(aged 2 something) to me in the bath
"Mummy, you've got Daddy hairs on your nuni"

Raised eyebrows from Dad (who is black).

DS used to sing 'See-saw, mato sauce' (as in tomato sauce) every time he got on a see-saw. Has finally switched to the conventional 'Margery Daw' version

My DD just one has been taught to say 'Buddha" by DH. She loves the word so much that she calls everything it now, including a small podgy bald man at the shop the other day. Didn't help that she pointed at him and laughed...
Spoke to a friend today who was hysterical because her DD (3) thinks crackers are "fuckers" and actually asked for some at nursery.

dd1 and dd2 were up to something (I don't know what am still looking for the evidence!!!) whilst I was in the loo
dd1 (almost 3) ssshh sis sis here. Nooo not there here
dd2
dd1 & dd2
dd1 mommy coming
dd2 ohhhh . . . . hide
when I arrive
dd1 sis sis did it (I still don't know what)
dd2 kiss mommy?
Anyone know what they were up to?

These are great, I wish I'd written things down. These are a few that I can remember:

DD1 (when 4) asking DD2 (then 1 ish) to say Willy. And then say Poo.

At the time I was in the bathroom just getting out of the shower and they were in their bedroom. I got out quickly to find what they were discussing - Winnie the Pooh!!

DD2 (now 4.6) calls pumpkins fuckins (very embarassing when she took one we had carved into playgroup for show and tell and announced what it was to everyone.

DD1 (when about 2.5) in M&S toilets, sharing a cubicle, long queue of ladies waiting, announced - now you've finished your wee are you going to have a big poo!

PS I didn't!