Scared that if I dont have a 3rd I will regret it?

[Mum84762002]

Does anyone have two children and have the urge to have a 3rd but don't feel like they can do pregnancy or give their everything to three children?
I have two wonderful girls, 1 and 3 and I love them with all my heart but I do find motherhood a struggle. At the same time though I have these conflicting thoughts of all the milestones with my 1 year old being my last and it honestly breaks my heart, sometimes it's all I can think about. At the same time though the thought of pregnancy (mainly the symptoms) freaks me out! But at the same time I loved finding out the genders/scans/midwife appointment etc. The newborn bubble, birth, I just loved it and the thought of never doing it again and closing the chapter really upsets me.
If you feel like this or did feel like this what did you do?
How do you feel now?
I haven't experienced primary school age/teenage ages so I don't know if in the future I'd be glad i didn't go ahead with a 3rd or regret not going ahead with a 3rd. I guess what is scary aswell is we'd have to move, get a new car etc its a big jump from going to 2 to 3 I feel.
Any opinions or thoughts would be helpful ❤️

I wanted 3 but stopped at 2. I'm pleased now that I did. I like the fact they have each other (ie there isn't a third being left out!), but that I also get enough time with each of them without spreading myself too thinly.

What does your husband/partner think?

You love young children but really these years don’t last young. You have to think about having 3 teenagers.
How well off are you. Will you be able to support your children through university etc.
Do you have enough bedrooms? Most children don’t like to share.

Consider these two scenarios:

1. You don't have a third, you feel some regret.
2. You have a third, you have severe physical and/or psychological damage, PND/PTSD, a child with severe disabilities, you have a miscarriage or stillbirth, you lose your job/husband and experience serious financial difficulty etc.... I think you get my point.

I went through a phase of really wanting a third, but stopped at two. I'm glad now. The urge has passed and I feel like I'd have been really stretched attention wise if I'd had more. There is something sad about the 'lasts' of your last child, but I've tried to flip that perspective and focus now on all the 'firsts' I'm yet to enjoy, because they keep coming, even as they get older. In fact I'm liking the older child stage of my first born. Being able to properly chat and have some banter. It's great! Makes me pine less for the baby years, seeing the older years being so much fun!

Thank you, these replies are really helpful.

So we have a large two (could be three as we can seperate our room as it has two windows and is big enough) bedroom house, financially we have around £900 after all bills paid, fuel, food etc but that's without me working just my fiance.
My fiance is very much on board with whatever I feel, he's extremely hands on and a fantastic dad but can see how stressed I get.
I think I'm just struggling with the fact the chapter is closing if you get me? My 1 year old will soon be walking/talking/being a toddler and as much as I'm excited for that I'm also really sad.
I loved the newborn stage so much and I feel I long for it again all the time but the actual thought of having three children is daunting.
I just worry about having regrets of not going ahead with a third but then I have read so many forums of people saying they are glad they didn't go for a third. I guess my downfall is I haven't experienced the primary school age or teenage years yet so I can't really know for sure how well I'd cope.

I was done at 2, currently 3 weeks away from my 3rd arriving and honestly the pregnancy has been so wonderful, seeing my little two (3+1) very excited about feeling baby move ext..

I had some of the same reservations, but we have just dealt with it, we got a new car, split the house. I'm in no means rich, but we make it work and feel so content knowing this is our last, but thankful also knowing I'm still in the trenches of the children being young and they'll be in the same age groups xx

I have two children under 5 and I don't feel sadness about moving away from the baby stage, I feel hope for the future. 3 kids would be too many for me, I feel no desire for a 3rd at all.

Stick with two. More time for them and to yourselves. More money for them and fir yourselves. No pregnancy health scares, difficult labour, no risk of child with additional needs. Don't be outnumbered is what I told myself when broody for a third.

I had a real overwhelming urge for a 3rd when my youngest was 12/24mths. . With hindsight it was just hormones. And now they are very very expensive teenagers I'm very glad we stuck with two.
Plus every group of three siblings that i know have a fractured relationship, someone is always left out, so I’d say have two or four!

I feel I can give alot more to the two girls I already have but can't help but have these daunting feelings. Do you think it's just hormones? Because anytime my period is late (like this month) I'm dreading a positive test!

This is what I have to consider, two teenage girls aren't exactly going to be cheap! Especially when it comes to phone contracts, uniform, Christmases, holidays, learning to drive etc. My parents didn't really do alot with me or my sister and brother because I think they over stretched themselves having three children. Never helped us to drive, Christmases were never amazing and it was usually £25 for birthdays. Which I'm by no means being ungrateful, I just want to be able to give my children more if that makes sense.

I also have major anxiety leaving the girls with anyone so dates are not very common currently between my fiance and I. We do get the evenings though as both the girls are asleep by 7pm every night. We do very much enjoy quality time together.
I do get scared if we did go for a third that it would over stretch us and essentially break us up, I know that's not guaranteed but it is a worry of mine aswell.

I really wanted a 3rd, I still do sometimes but I’ve just moved out of the needing buggy/nappies etc stage and we’re into the next stage so I feel it less. Mainly I think because I’m starting to do things other than look after small children and work.

How do you feel not needing a pram etc? That's another thing that makes me sad.

I wanted three but stopped at two and I’m really glad I did.

I felt that way after my third and had a fourth! I didn't want an odd number of children.

find motherhood a struggle.

Another one will not be a let up.

Can you afford it? What if you get divorced? Are you working? Paying all bills comfortably?

What is dad does a runner?

The baby stage really only lasts 6 months, a year maybe and then you will be feeling the same again. I would stick at 2 (I have two late teens)

How do you feel not needing a pram etc? That's another thing that makes me sad.

Huh? I passed the buggy onto someone else needing one,

I would suggest some therapy before finding yourself with kids you can't cope with and divorced.

Most men run off with a younger model, sorry but true.

Honestly relief - mine are teenagers and they are hard work - DS had issues around 9-11 that were really tough and needed a lot of attention that thankfully he is out of.

Holidays/transport etc so much easier with 2 and the relationship between them is good.

the lounge when we watch stuff as a family is hard enough with 4 adult sized people for when we watch stuff

I still miss the baby days

.

.

Ahh, I think i have worked out how to reply to people.

I'm not getting your comment about running off with a model, is that something that happened to you? If it did, I'm really sorry.

Thank you, this is really helpful.

If you dont mind me asking, what issues arised?

I'm definitely aware the baby stage doesn't last long, I guess maybe that's why I want to do it again sometimes.
I think two would be much easier though.

Affordability yes we can.
I trust my fiance wouldn't do a runner, he loves his girls dearly and would always be apart of their lives no matter what.

Could you go into why you are glad you stopped at two? Thank you!