Grandparent nickname

[moonmaker93]

LO is only a couple of months’ old, and mine and my husband’s first.

My in-laws have been grandparents for a while as BIL and SIL have two children - one girl and one boy.

The eldest (our niece) couldn’t pronounce ‘Grandad’ when she was younger and so called FIL “GooGoo.”

This then stuck and so when our nephew arrived, he also began calling him GooGoo.

I, however, am really not a fan of baby words like this and believe children should be talk to speak properly. I don’t want them getting teased in school when referring to their Grandparent as GooGoo! Niece and nephew are now 10 and 5 respectively and STILL calling FIL this nickname. Both niece and nephew are very behind in school/developmentally and I really don’t think things like this help.

Our LO is only a few months old, but MIL and FIL are already pushing this nickname with him. I slightly understood it when nephew arrived, as it was his sister’s nickname, but I personally don’t want our son adopting this and don’t see what relation this has to him.

It makes me cringe and I would like him to use actual words.

AIBU?

My niblings have a nickname for the joint grandad they share with my DC. I refuse to call a grown man in his 70s by a silly name so he's grandad to my kids and nickname to niblings.

We all know who we're talking about so no problems.

I mean, I wouldn't get my knickers in a twist about it or fall out with them. I would probably refer to FIL as Grandad to my DC and when I speak about him and then just see what DC comes out with. You can't really control what they say or what MIL for example, calls FIL in relation to your DC but you don't have to use the term yourself.

See, I agree, and this is my thing: everyone seems to refer to him as GooGoo, and not just when speaking to him directly, but when speaking about him. E.g. 10y/o niece says “I went to my GooGoo’s house.” It just absolutely goes through me and really don’t want it to catch on for my LO. 😂 Yet, it seems I’m the daft one to MIL and FIL for correcting it to ‘Grandad.’

Yanbu for reinforcing "grandpa" or whatever but YABU to think that calling him "GooGoo" is causing developmental delays

Certainly haven’t fallen out with them, but can definitely they don’t like me referring to him as ‘Grandad’ instead. Our LO has two Grandads (my dad too) who will be called Grandad/Grandpa, whereas niece and nephew only have the one, so that probably makes a difference to the situation too. Just dislike the thought of this daft baby nickname/non-word being thrust upon us!

Just call him grandad. Or grandpa or whatever. I don’t think it has to be a uniform thing. Dh’s cousins all call his grandparents some Welsh names, but Dh’s family wasn’t quite as strongly Welsh so call them gran and grandad. It’s not a problem. Get your Dh to continue to emphasise what you call them.

That said, my friends bonkers narcissist dad was so hung up on the thought that his virgin daughter could not possibly be having sex and getting pregnant (she was a grown ass married woman in her 30s, super weird), that he refused to acknowledge her pregnancy and refused to be called grandpa. He said the thought made him feel sick, to think she had given birth to his grandchild. He said he would be called Coach instead. She was like WTF, no?! And went NC shortly after that.

I think I probably get frustrated with them thrusting behaviours from BIL&SIL’s little family onto us. Would like them to respect that we’re a different family unit and have different approaches for our children. I think it’s fair that, as you say, it’s not a direct cause for slow development, but I really do think teaching baby speak instead of trying to get them to talk properly is unhelpful in that regard.

Why are you digging your heels in on that? Pick your battles.

They just don’t seem to be happy with it though! I just don’t see why we should adopt some other child’s nickname for him. And wow really?! That’s so bizarre.

Just call him what you like and let others do the same. I wouldn't be calling him Googoo either, that makes my skin crawl but there's no need to make a big deal out of it.

Both niece and nephew are very behind in school/developmentally and I really don’t think things like this help.
Having a grandparent nickname is not going to affect them developmentally what a weird thing to think.

Well, truthfully, I suppose I see it as setting a boundary early doors. Almost as if if we give an inch they may take a mile. With my BIL&SIL’s LOs they’ve always been very vocal about “they should go to this school”, “they should play this sport” and I guess I don’t want to open that door! As well as me just not liking the silly baby nickname. 😂 Niece is going to secondary school next year and still goes into school telling people she’s done XYZ this weekend with her “GooGoo.” 🙈

Well, they talk “baby talk” a lot, not just with this nickname. The children really are not taught to speak properly and as such are far behind. Nephew is a year behind already at only 5, and niece is actually about 4 years behind.

I feel for you OP! We were in the same situation with one set of Grandparents suddenly deciding our DC should call FIL a childish chingey name once our niece was born. My kids were older and had always called FIL Grandad. Suddenly all DCs birthday cards and phone calls from FIL were using this babyish name. We just carried on calling him Grandad. Now the DCs are adults, FIL still insists on using it!

Thank you, you understand me! 😂 How did you manage it; just persist in calling him Grandad and leave them to it? And did DC adopt the baby name at all?

That's not what I mean. You're perfectly reasonable to keep referring to your FIL as Grandpa, and correct your child if necessary. You're unreasonable to keep banging on about how developmentally compromised they are and making out baby talk has contributed to it.

My DC called ther GM Nana and their cousins called the same person Nanny. You call him and refer to him as you please. They do what they want.

Btw I work in primary school and most of the chn have all sorts of terms of endearment for their grandparents. Nobody judges and by the time they get older they know when to switch to grandma from nickname.

Those are very much personal thoughts! I’ve certainly not verbalised them to anyone in the family, but I do stand by my perspective that by not encouraging children to read and speak properly you do stunt their development! Of course there’s a correlation there (in the absence of any neurodiversity, learning needs etc etc). Granted, I don’t think this nickname is the cause/be all and end all, but as I said, I don’t think baby talk helps and don’t want them to go down that road. Equally, don’t want our LO to get teased when he’s older for adopting this silly name. Mainly, though, I’m annoyed that they appear affronted by me correcting to “Grandad.”

Interesting, thanks. Do you find many of the older ones to still use these terms?

If that is the only 'baby' word used, it doesn't stop you ensuring they learn how to speak properly- it won't delay their development in any way. Lots of children use nicknames for their grandparents. It is not a hill I would worry about, never mind die on!

Yes sometimes they joke about it. It’s a small village school so maybe different elsewhere. Lots of grandparents pick up and I’ll say something like ‘ Jack your grandma is here and Jack will say, that’s my nonny.’ There are so many different names. There has been a Gan Gan, a GG, Gee Ma, Pops. My grandad was Popeye!

It’s not the only baby word used. I’ve elaborated in previous comments… just arguably the worst one in my opinion and not a door I want to open. 😂 I’ve not fallen out with my in-laws over it, but I can tell they don’t like me using ‘Grandad’ instead, and that’s my main issue really.

Thanks! See, now, most of these are far better than GooGoo though. 🙈😂

I asked my mum what she wanted to be called. I think you have to take that into account. I’m in my 50s and if my 24 year old had a child I wouldn’t be ready for Grandma!!! I’d probably come up with a slightly less aging nickname.😂