Grandparent nickname

[moonmaker93]

LO is only a couple of months’ old, and mine and my husband’s first.

My in-laws have been grandparents for a while as BIL and SIL have two children - one girl and one boy.

The eldest (our niece) couldn’t pronounce ‘Grandad’ when she was younger and so called FIL “GooGoo.”

This then stuck and so when our nephew arrived, he also began calling him GooGoo.

I, however, am really not a fan of baby words like this and believe children should be talk to speak properly. I don’t want them getting teased in school when referring to their Grandparent as GooGoo! Niece and nephew are now 10 and 5 respectively and STILL calling FIL this nickname. Both niece and nephew are very behind in school/developmentally and I really don’t think things like this help.

Our LO is only a few months old, but MIL and FIL are already pushing this nickname with him. I slightly understood it when nephew arrived, as it was his sister’s nickname, but I personally don’t want our son adopting this and don’t see what relation this has to him.

It makes me cringe and I would like him to use actual words.

AIBU?

You don’t know me and have no knowledge of my experience with children or parenting, yet are citing your own “credentials” and very personal and niche experiences and trying to apply them directly to mine. My niece and nephew are lovely children - they have a very high EQ and I don’t look down on my BIL&SIL at all. You don’t know me or my relationship with any of these people. I have, however, highlighted that I would like the option to do things differently if we see fit for mine and DH’s child together, as I do believe in the importance of some of the things I’ve mentioned, and quite frankly I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all. Hence my whole dilemma and point of this post - I personally don't feel I should be told what I should refer to a grown man as, based on the mispronouncing of a child who is not one of our children!

No , I don’t know you . I’m a commenting on what you have written, your own words. You don’t like it as you can see how horrible and judgmental it sounds. That’s the truth. You have described your sil and bil as “plonking their dcs in front of iPads , not reading to them and that this not haven’t helped towards them being developmentally delayed “. It’s a horrible thing to say and to infer and you know it . Good luck to you and your parenting in the future.

Good luck for the birth also and hopefully your sil isn’t on mn too…

it’s already his nickname, he has an emotional attachment to it.

@KnickerFolder is spot on with this - and the rest of her post. It’s his nickname and he likes it and wants it to continue. As a general rule, it’s polite to call others what they wish to be called - if, for your FIL, it’s “Googoo”, I think you should respect that, even if only for the sake of family harmony! I think you’ll find kids are pretty good at determining when to use a nickname (eg “hi there Googoo” and when to talk about “my granddad”). I’m also not a fan of baby talk - at all - but I do think a use of a nickname is something entirely different. I know a very smart older lady locally who is known to absolutely everyone as “Boo”, for example. (I think her given name is actually Beatrice; it’s just one of those things and probably stems from her own childhood.)

You’ll maybe find your little one calls their grandparents something they make up theirselves- one of my grandchildren did this with me- I love the name!

My mum and stepdad opted to be called Granny and Gramps. They were Manny and Amps for a few years until both my boys got the hang of pronunciation!

Your LO may (hopefully) come up with a good nickname. They can rarely say grandad anyway so if you refer to him as that —ignoring the evils— and as long as your DH is on board then you may be able to avoid GooGoo. Despite what many have said on this thread OP I’m with you and I’d also hate it!

My eldest had a nickname for both my parents stuck for us adults and we still refer to them as that. At 3.5 he’s started pronouncing their names properly. Youngest has picked up the nicknames. Honestly I don’t really care. For them the nicknames are special as it’s what their grandson chose to call them. I think they’re a bit sad that it’s ended. To be fair I felt similar about the change from mama to mum.

Thank you!

Yeah, I guess it’s the formal nature of it I don’t like, and the fact I have to join in the charade! He’s his Grandad! That’s a fact. My other LO did say “Gan Gan” for my Dad for some time, all quite naturally and organically, but soon got the hand of it. (Scared by some previous posters mentions of “Poo” 😂) However, niece is now 10 and still calling him Goo Goo. 🤦‍♀️ I don’t think he absolutely adores the name, I think it’s just the case that he sees this as the way of it and we just have to go along with it. If they’re going to wed us to this silly baby-ish name for life, I’d rather we didn’t go down that rabbit hole.

I'm never going to be a grandmother but I'd have loved to have been called Gee Ma 😊

(My dad was only ever known as Dandy)

If your FIL doesn't really like it that much, why is he determined that your child uses the name? That doesn't make sense.

Think he thinks it should be consistent! At least that’s the impression I get… almost as if we’re shaking things up by just calling him Grandad. I don’t see why it should be an issue, as that’s what he is: a Grandad. My Dad gets called Grandad.

My oldest cousin said Gagga instead of Grampa and it became the name very young children always called him after that. We all transitioned to Grampa at about 5 or 6, but we all called him Gagga first. Much like the change from Mama to Mummy to Mum.

Think the transition is totally fine and can be quite cute. Though I’ve heard some horror stories here haha. My LO used to use ‘Gan Gan’, but was encouraged to use Grandad and so now does. However, what my Dad wouldn’t do is force any of my sister’s children - and certainly not her partner - to now call him Gan Gan. Just all seems a bit bizarre to me! It’s a baby name that our niece came up with, so is unrelated to us. The fact that she hasn’t grown out of it yet I believe is due to the fact they don’t encourage proper speech… but that’s something I’ve been told off for thinking here. 😂

My two daughters were still calling my dad “GaGa” in their 30’s. Never been a problem.

He died in 2022, and when talking about him now he’s still “GaGa”

It was DD1 that first called him that, and he loved it.

This all sounds quite painful and overthought.

Call your FIL grandad/ grandpa whatever your preference is in your house.

Be aware though that nicknames arise organically and can spill. My cousins changed our Gran's name to Granny when I was in my tweens. And Granny she remains even posthumously.

It isn't just grandparent names it's also your kids names that can get twisted. Several of my friends have kids with nicknames they would never have chosen but they've stuck. Again the correlation actually seems to be high educational attainment = bonkers childish nickname.

I love the cute names that stick. I think all toddlers should choose their grandparents' names!

He’s his Grandad! That’s a fact.

Tp be fair - “Grandad” is your diminutive of choice. He’s his paternal grandfather. But “Grandfather” is seen to most as overly formal and so most use a diminutive. Your preference is for “Grandad”, which is widely, but by means universally, used. Your BIL and SIL prefer something very unusual that your niece came up with. But it’s the same thing, really. (Didn’t Prince George famously call HM the late Queen “Gan Gan”, for example? And - equally - I know some very “U” types who would never dream of using “Grandad”, “Mum”, “Auntie” etc as they’re seen as rather twee. So I suppose I’m saying I wouldn’t be so rigid in your thinking about it. Nothing wrong with having your own preference, of course, but ultimately it’s probably the person whose nickname it is who holds the trump card. As a pp alluded to upthread, I’m sure my lovely neighbour, known as Boo to just about everyone other than her bank manager and Auntie Boo to hordes of her family, would look quite askance at an in-law suddenly insisting that a new member of the family addresses her as “Aunt Beatrice”. And nobody else would quite get who was being talked about either. I’d try not to worry and let things evolve, I think.

Yet you, a grown up, use the word ‘niblings’ 🤢

OP: I, however, am really not a fan of baby words like this and believe children should be talk to speak properly. I don’t want them getting teased in school when referring to their Grandparent as GooGoo! Niece and nephew are now 10 and 5 respectively and STILL calling FIL this nickname. Both niece and nephew are very behind in school/developmentally and I really don’t think things like this help.

Pretty sure your 10 year old niece is able to say the words ‘grandad’ so don’t worry about that. At school she can choose to say ‘my grandad’ rather than ‘goo goo’. I don’t think it matters if cousins have different names for their grandparents.

YANBU for encouraging Grandad, although you need to be chill if it doesn’t stick.

YABU for being so nasty about your inlaws.